I'm someone who gets frustrated very easily and a lot, often at things that aren't worth being frustrated over. The thing is, it gives me physical discomfort if I keep it to myself, and it ends up building up and coming out in an even worse way, so I feel like I have to vent about the things that make me feel this way, which leads to people getting annoyed or even hurt. I got on someone's bad side just because I was frustrated over something to do with them and also jealous of them, and that could have been permanent if I didn't feel bad about it and apologise.

I just feel like I'm not allowed to be frustrated or vent about it because it just annoys or hurts people, but I feel like I need my venting to be acknowledged and understood so I feel less alone. I just don't know which people are the right people to vent to, the ones who would understand even if they don't necessarily agree with my opinions, and they might even tell me good reasons as well that could help me see things a different way, that's something I struggle with a lot, being neurodivergent. In fact, I don't always like to mention that I'm Autistic because I don't want people to think I'm using it as an excuse, even though it is the cause of a lot of the things I get frustrated over.

I mainly want some advice on what I can do to relieve my frustrations that won't hurt or annoy people, and if there are any good online communities or something where I'm more likely to be understood. Or if there's any way to stop my body from feeling that tension that makes me want to vent.

Honestly? Venting online might be the way to go. If you don't want to do it here, you could also use a site like Muttr, or on Reddit there's a subreddit called TrueOffMyChest that's specifically for venting and receiving feedback.

Is venting really good though? I keep looking up stuff about it and people seem to think it isn't, that it's only a temporary relief. I don't know how else to relieve it though.

Maybe a solution could be seeking professional help in learning how to adjust or react to things that are frustrating you. If you think that these things aren't worth getting frustrated over, but can't seem to help getting frustrated anyways?

I've heard that this is a decent search engine for a therapist, assuming you are in the States.

I'm not, I'm from the UK, but thanks anyway. I am planning on asking for somewhere I can get help, but that won't be for about another 2 weeks and I don't know if they'll be able to show me where to go or not. I really do feel like maybe I need CBT or something, to re-program my mind and maybe that will stop my body from feeling certain ways as well.

Venting can be helpful in certain situations. Like for example, if I had a short-term problem with a coworker, I might vent about it to my partner just to get those negative emotions out so it doesn't come out at an inappropriate time--like work. However, if you find yourself venting a lot about the same issues, over and over, it probably is better to address what's going on to make you feel that way.

Like imagine I had a friend who kept making fun of something I was sensitive about. If all I do is vent to other people (or the internet) about it, nothing can really change. Instead, it would be more useful for me to talk to that friend and ask them to stop, or stop meeting with them if they don't stop.

A lot of people also keep what's called a "burn book" where they write down their frustrations and anger, and nobody else gets to see it. Once it's full, people generally discard them (which is why they're called a burn book, though you obviously don't have to set them on fire unless you really want to), since it's just supposed to be private complaining or venting. That might be an option if you're worried about how other people respond to your venting.

I'm glad the person above me mentioned a "burn book," because ranting in a journal is exactly what I do. No one reads my journal. It is a judgment-free zone where I can get my thoughts down on paper. Writing brings me some clarity, and from there, I can decide what I want to bring up when I talk to other people.

It might take time figuring out what works for you, whether it be online communities, therapy, various hobbies, etc. Don't forget to treat yourself with kindness.

It sounds like one thing you're having trouble with is like, the physical feeling of frustration, as much as the interpersonal & emotional stuff. For me, a lot of like "calm down" stuff doesn't work because I'm still stuck with all of this energy that just feeds the frustration or anger. So doing something to break out of that is helpful. For me, it's usually going for a run or doing a workout. But stuff like playing a difficult puzzle game to get my mind off it, or an action game (to give that keyed up feeling a different context) has been helpful for me as well.