Let me make this short:

I thought I was FTM. Some days I'm fine with never transitioning. Some days I'm not. Some days I wouldn't mind if I ceased to be a woman entirely and woke up as a man with all the appropriate parts. Some days I don't want to be perceived as any gender at all. I am AFAB but with how I dress, I present more as male. But I've thought about it, and if I was to wake up as a man, I'd probably want to present more feminine. It's like I'm not really interested in stereotypical feminine (high heels, makeup, et al) items unless I could be a guy.

I'm thinking maybe genderqueer? Or non-binary? I don't know. I'm so fucking confused. Please help.

You can be nonbinary/trans and still:

• Never transition/never bind.
• Have completely dysphoria free days.
• Have crippling days with dysphoria.
• Some days be perfectly fine.
• Want to wake up as the other gender. (That's normal for being trans/nb.)
• Not want to be a specific gender period. ("What do you identify as?" "A THREAT.")
• Not change your name or change it daily.
• And so on.

It's more how comfortable you are and finding the peace you need. There isn't a wrong way to be trans/nb, those who say otherwise are liars.

I'm figuring this out myself. I'm trans/nb and want to get at least top surgery and some other bits removed.

It's a process, a long and sometimes painful one but you're not alone in it.

, that sets my mind at ease. Thank you sm! And oh god, the name thing... I have three names I like and two combinations of two of those names that I can't choose between. It's a trip. I honestly wonder how trans people choose between names! I love all mine too much! It's like deciding who's your favorite child or something.

I have to still use my birthname most places because the only place I'm really out is online and even then, it's in the spaces where I know my family won't find me.

Picking the name that I use in the spaces that I know and control, that was an ordeal. It took me several names, several more weeks and crying to a couple then friends.

The one then-friend's mother was like, "They look like an Alec." Which is the name I've used since quite happily: a variation of a favorite character's name (and who helped in the way of being unapologetically, openly bisexual which I turned into my being unapologetically trans/nb) and a favorite actor (original Obi-Wan.)

I understand how picking a name was for me. Terrifying and delightful rolled into one.

, one of my names comes from an old cat I had as a child, and another comes from a comic book. I thought taking a name from a comic book was kind of lame for a while but in the end it's like, it's my choice so it doesn't matter what negativity people might assign to it. Or I can even go by initials like some people do!

Here are the names/combinations I like:

Jasper Johnny Ray Jasper Ray (or J.R.) Ray Jasper (or R.J.) Johnny Jasper (or J.J.) - just came up with this one so now I have one more combo than before lol.

I can't choose!

It's always your choice with your name. It boils down to respect.

Jasper! What a wonderful name! I love all the variations you listed and still gives you the option of initials if you want to use them alone. I like Johnny too.

I see why! I'd have trouble picking too, these are so wonderfully unique.

I kept part of my birth name, I just dropped a letter off it for the masculine Rene, but that's me and I've always loved that name. Though, being asked if my birth name was inspired by Irene Adler got really annoying fast. It didn't last long. x.e;

Hey, sorry to hear you have a hard time over this issue. It will get better. I'd advise not to stick to a 'label' for your gender identity. I'd say go with the flow and take each day a it comes. If today you feel like being James, tomorrow Maria, then Jules, then Mike, or Sam, that's fine. If anyone asks, just say you're not entirely sure or comfortable talking about this aspect. As far as i'm concerned, this is something personal and nobody should question you about your private parts and stuff. Thy should accept you however you are. It may seem important at this point in your life, i get it. But i'm sure there's plenty of time for you to figure it out. You don't have a deadline for this. Stay strong, healthy and safe. this is more important in my opinion. good luck!

, sorry for the super late reply! Life has kept me busy and forums weren't working at all.

But I've decided! I'm going to go just genderless for a while and I'm going to go by Jasper once I get enough guts to come out.

In the meantime, I made a picrew!

SPOILER (click to toggle)

LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS, ISN'T HE CUTE?!

I realize it has been months since you first posted this. I hope you are doing well and feel more comfortable with yourself. Exploring your identities takes time, and it's okay to not have all the answers. The most important thing is that you are happy and comfortable with who you are as a person. It took me a long time to fight internalized homophobia with my bisexuality, but I am finally at a place where I feel good about myself.