Hi everyone! I don't post in chit-chat very often, but am hoping my fellow Subetans can give me some advice and insight on a major decision I am currently facing IRL.

I am considering leaving my job and taking a break from the workforce. Right now, I am considering a break of about 6-8 months for reasons I don't want to go too far into detail on.

I am interested to hear from anyone, whether you have considered or taken a break or not, on what your thoughts are on what this could look like and things to consider. Unfortunately, I am not current in a position where a sabbatical or extended leave of absence (paid or unpaid) is an option so I would be quitting my job and taking it from there.

If you've taken a break to care for family members, be a full-time parent, travel, rejuvinate, etc. I would like to hear about your experience both making the decision to do so and what it was like. If you had an unplanned career break due to unemployment (laid off, hard to find work, etc.) and have any input on your experience while not working, I'd be interested in that as well!

For those that have never taken a break - what are your thoughts? What would you worry about and what would you be excited about? How would you consider spending the time out of the workforce?

- Come help me make big life choices :x

This is a pretty hard one and surprisingly enough I have a decent amount of experience in a few different situations. Without you giving out any personal details(which I understand) I'll just tell you how things went with me!

Before my break: I was really down in my job and felt like what I was being paid wasn't at all what I was worth, so I took a leap of faith and switched from one retail giant to another because they offered me a management position and $3 more an hour than what I was making. Unfortunately things went south pretty quickly when my store manager was let go a month after I started. During the time the store had no manager I was bullied pretty badly by staff members that believed they deserved my position. The first thing the new store manager did when she came was let me go a day before my 3 months because she wanted to "hire her own staff".

First break: After the outcome of that job I had my first real mental break, I was distraught because I'd barely survived my job before making the switch in the first place and I just felt so down and useless. I ended up taking a break of 8 months to seek some counseling to help me understand my mental health a bit better. During this time I was in a group and saw a one on one counselor. I learned a lot over those 8 months but it was little help in the long run. Times were tough at that time, my husband had just finished college and we were in freefall with no money to move forward let alone pay our bills. During this time my parents (divorced mind you) both gave us money to help with fiances. It was a really rough time.

Second break: I took another (shorter) break just before college, I was working at a 7-11 and just wanted a couple of weeks to myself before I had to hit the books. It was a great decision because it wasn't long, and it really helped me get into a mindset to really get moving.

Third break: During the first summer of college I found a great job working at a virtual reality arcade after summer was over I tried juggling both school and work and it worked out for a little bit but as my practicum came up in my second year things became more demanding and I took an extended leave from the job until after I completed college. They were super positive and willing and really cool about it. The downside was that because it was such a small team by the time I returned they'd replaced me and it was hard to fit me back into the schedule.

Fourth break(also current): I found a job working for a trucking company doing programming which was an amazing job that I loved so much, the bad thing as I was going through college I started getting really sick and while working there my situation only seemed to get worse. Lucky (if you call it that) the company ended up getting acquired by another company and they gutted the positions and gave up most of their staff. I was part of that unfortunate lay off but they kept me employed for an extra 6 months for the merger/transition.

After that time my husband took a leap of faith and started a company with a business acquaintance. We spent the end of 2019 and the start of 2020 prior to covid travelling. We went to see his (now) business partner, we saw my family then after we took our first vacation to Mexico! The entire experience was amazing and I'm so happy I had the chance to experience it.

In 2020 covid put a massive strain on everyone and I took CERB for the better part of the year while I dealt with my continued health issues.

Fast forward to today, I'm nearing the end of my medical testing to find out why I'm so sick and I'm about to try and find another job, not exactly because I need it but because we would like more money to save and what not.

I hope some of that helped you and gave you some ideas of what different things might happen in a situation like this. Sometimes things are out of our control and we do the best we can. If you need to take a break, take it because you'll be better for it, even if you have some hardships a long the way. No job is worth your health.

Wow! Big decisions ahead!! Change can be really good sometimes and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone shows you what you're capable of! I'll assume you are not happy where you're at right now. Are you looking for a career change?

Here's my work-life experience: When I was much younger and had 2 little boys to look after, I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship. I had quit my job at a pizza place and went on assisted help. I didn't want to be labeled as a 'welfare mom' and I didn't want to work in fast food for the rest of my life so I looked into my local college to see what they could offer me. They had programs that help decide what kinds of jobs would suit me. They were the stepping stone for me to get a degree in a field that really interested me. I landed a job after I graduated and haven't looked back. Over 24 years later, that same college reached out to me to teach one of their classes! So yeah, full-circle moment!

So YES, take a break, step back and look at your options. If you live near a community college, find some programs that will steer you in the right direction! It's never too late to learn something new and exciting!! If not, there are online resources that I'm sure could help as well :)

I have no good advice (ever, but also specific to this question) except this: if you get state benefits, treasure your caseworker. The databases and automated systems ruin their whole life too, and they're the only one who can figure out what it's doing and fix it for you... and the other hundred people who are calling them at the same moment you are.

Good luck, we love you!

I appreciate you taking the time to share a detailed response! It is helpful to hear about the different scenarios and how the length of the break influenced as well. I can see how sometimes you were put in a tough spot (like being let go at 3mo) or things didn't work out quite as you expected (not fitting back in after your third break). Those are the things that a lot of people fear and it's reassuring to hear just how you felt and handled it and that things can work out. I love hearing about the amazing experiences you had both with short- and long-term breaks and the ability travel and have new experiences. A lot of blogs I've read and friends that I have who have taken a break usually have one major influencer (care for family, major medical issues, laid off, etc.) but for me it is more several halfway-factors so I've been having a hard time organizing my thoughts.

Thanks for sharing your experience! Taking a career break would definitely put me outside of my comfort zone. I've been working on my career non-stop for 10 years and moving non-stop (in school, working at least full-time, or both!) for 16 years. It's difficult to imagine what a life where I don't organize everything else (family, health, etc.) around that. I haven't really stopped long enough to even consider what I want, which is one of the reasons I'm considering a break now. Do I want a career change? I don't know. The truth is, I don't know what I want in regards to just about anything. I do think I need help in deciding what I want and what suits me - thanks for your suggestions on places to start looking!

Advice is always good when it's free :) I can collect it, put it in my pocket, and use it if I want to! ❤️ Caseworkers definitely deserve courtesy and gratitude. Such a stressful job!

Half way factors? So more or less you have a lot of different things going on that are all kinda pushing for your attention? Depending on what you do just remember you can always find another job. My husband has been talking to me a lot lately about loyalty to companies and you know like you don't owe them anything. If you have important things in your life you need to deal with the best thing you can do for yourself is take that time to focus on them. If you have some sort of umbrella and you aren't going to go broke over it, that's even better. From what I've been hearing recently unless you plan to leave the workforce for a long time (like 5-10 years is what I'm told) most places won't judge. Especially with something like Covid going on, more people are inclined to understand that people just need some time to breathe. Everyone is stressed and I feel like this would be the best possible time for you to get things in order and be comfortable. I hope you don't stress too much about your situation and I wish you the best of luck and happiness in whatever you decide <3

I find it very easy to settle into routines, which makes it hard to take a leap even when it's necessary, but also to accept the diminished resources and opportunity from just getting used to not having to go out to a job. It sounds like (? maybe?) you have a much clearer picture of what you're doing and when you plan to go back, and also seem to have a professional standing (again just sort of inferring by your post?) which might help you focus your search when you're ready to go back.

When I moved back to the states, I had a lot of trouble finding a job and eventually snatched up what I could get: entry-level food service. I couldn't even get a spot as a holiday temp at my previous (retail) employer because - having been management there previously, and for a related company while overseas - I was overqualified for sales positions and a risk for premature turnover. It took like over a year because the places I had relevant experience in (retail, basically) wouldn't hire me for just a job and kept being like "we'll keep your CV in case of more fitting openings"... 😬

ETA: Sorry I should mention this was like ten years ago in a massively different employment situation post-2008-recession! COVID changes everything!

Every situation is unique so I don't know how much impact any advice would have, but I do have a things that if I were going through that process now, I would be asking myself to feel confident in my decision: (note: keep in mind that I'm considering this from a US perspective, some questions may not fit if you live in other countries where some of these concerns may not exist)

• Do you have a nest egg of savings? Are you prepared for that six months not only of your normal expenses, but if anything unplanned pops up (like a car needing to be towed, etc.) the biggest concern would be financial stability. Especially if you are leaving the job, you may not qualify for unemployment given you made a choice to leave employment. Are you also prepared for a month or two of time after that, in case it takes you longer than anticipated to find new employment?

• Do you have health expenses that need to be considered? Are you prepared for a medical emergency in terms of coverage? Does your health insurance stay with you even if you leave your job or is it tied to your employment?

• Do you have clear goals for yourself and ways to attain them during that time? I find when I have significant down periods, if I don't make lists of what I want to accomplish and actually create a plan for getting there, I'm likely to put things off and feel as though the time was wasted. If you know what you're taking the time for and have plans to ensure you feel happy about how the time is spent, that's a great way to mitigate this!

• When you begin interviewing again, do you have an idea of how you will respond to any questions about employment gaps? It shouldn't be held against you especially for that amount of time, but it's worth feeling prepared so that you aren't bamboozled in an job interview down the line. It can even be turned into a strength if you've set goals and shown initiative toward them.

• If you're thinking about doing something different, are there ways to get involved in that area or learn skills related to it during this time? Perhaps online resources, courses you could sit in on, places to volunteer? That would let you really get a sense of if you want to make a change or not, and also gives you things to say you did during the employment break.

Those are just a few things I would ask myself and try to consider before taking the leap - that way I'd feel more confident in jumping ahead!

Yes, exactly. For example, I've lost several family members this year. Early in lockdown I had to make the choice not to attend funerals and services due to travel and my health risk. The past few months I have been able to attend services but still not spend much time with my family. Although no one is sick and needing immediate care - now is the time to spend with some of my family members that need it but is extremely difficult since I am several states away and my employer is anything but understanding (I have 5 weeks of vacation time saved up but my last two time off requests have been denied). I understand why they think they can't spare me - I'm a specialist with no backup and since the layoffs last year, those of us that are left are doing 3 people's jobs. One person being out even one day just adds to backlog and missed deadlines. I know I'm complaining so it may seem like an easy decision to say "get out of there!" but there are good things too and reasons to stay (a paycheck, for one) or to get another job and not take a break. It's good to gain some perspective on what would be a justifiable break timeline

I am a specialist in a niche industry which is good and bad (few people like me make me sought after, however it's a niche industry and there are sometimes limited or no job openings for long time periods). I'm considering an industry change, which is terrifying and I don't even know where to begin. I fell into what I do now just following momentum - I've never really thought about if there is something else I'd rather be using my skills for. The risk of being seen as "overqualified" is definitely something I've thought about. Since COVID, a lot of places have done layoffs or not filled vacancies as they arise. I'm worried about not finding things at my level (mid-tier) and being told I'm not ready for higher level jobs and (perceived as) too expensive for lower level jobs, even if I'd be willing to take them to learn a new industry or have a pleasant work environment.

Thanks so much for your response! These are definitely all things to consider and some I hadn't thought of. I'll definitely need to think more about the goal-setting. I think going through some kind of exercise as you outlined may help me feel more confident in making this decision and moving forward. It might also alleviate my fears about having difficulty re-entering the workforce. Luckily, I have enough savings and a spouse with a paycheck that we can get by with a few cuts for awhile. I keep asking myself if this is a good use of those savings and what I will do if I can't re-enter the workforce when I'm thinking about. That's just the uncertainty holding me back, though! Thanks ❤

Taking a break does wonders. My break came at an unexpected time, years ago, when I was starting a new job but I absolutely hated it. It was nothing like I expected so I quit in the first week.

The job I had before that one was stressful AF but high paying, so I had some money saved. I then, decided why not just relax for a little while and tbh, it was totally worth it.

I took nearly five months off. My only regret was worrying so much about my next step when I should have just enjoyed my freedom more.

The main thing to consider when doing this is definitely money. Make sure you have enough saved to relax and not worry about budget. Definitely have an extra saved in case life throws a random curveball and enough of a cushion in case finding a new job at the end of your break turns out more difficult than expected.

For employers, seeing such a large gap in work history makes them cautious. So just keep a mind a good reason for the gap or get a small part time job. Small as in, working two days a week small.

Also, timing is important. Next time I take a break, I’ll consider the usual hiring times. For example, since I work in retail, ideally I’ll plan my break to end near holiday season since that’s when everyone is hiring.

Rogue, I wish you the best of luck and hope you make great memories. Remember to enjoy every second of it <3

Also if you make the decision to leave when you re-enter the work force you don't need to give them a reason for leaving. Personal reasons is the best most people should expect. I'm so sorry for your losses and the hard times that have fallen on you. I know if I had the chance I'd choose my family too, even though I'm not terribly close with them and they live in different countries (my father is in Mexico and my grandparents are in Florida) but I think for you personally, I think taking a step back for a bit will really help you. Being a specialist you shouldn't have any issues finding a new job because well specialists are always needed, no matter what the job in particular is. That being said, you definitely don't need to feel a personal responsibility to go out of your way to please an employer that doesn't seem to care about you, but if you are a doctor or something I could understand some hesitation about leaving patients high and dry.

Here's another perspective... this may sound morbidly extreme, but what if you died tomorrow? They would still be in the same boat as they would be if you gave your notice and left. They would still need to replace you. What you need to remember is that everyone is replaceable. Sure, not everyone will have the same skill set as you, but they will still need to replace you with someone. Keeping that in mind, you need to do what is right for YOU. Taking time off for yourself gives you time to recharge your mind and soul. (I think it's total BS that they denied your 2 vacation requests... why have it if you can't even use it??). Compassion fatigue plagues the workforce because too many throw themselves into their career and never take time for themselves because they think it's selfish of them and they can do it when they retire. What kind of mantra is that?!?! You gotta take care of your mental health. ❤

It sounds like you made a great decision taking a break. Thanks for sharing - if I do decide to move forward with this, I'll pay attention to my worrying about the next step and try to remind myself to enjoy my freedmo (while I have it >.<). Luckily, I'm pretty good with money so I have a steady grasp on what we would need to cut from our budget in order to not be stressed about paying bills or an unexpected expense. We could do it for awhile, but the biggest thing we'd be cutting is savings. No more putting money aside to save for a future dream home project (I'm looking at you future back deck) or an international vacation (though we're currently about halfway to this goal). I hadn't put much thought into a part-time job because whenever I've tried to hire for part-time positions it's been super hard to find people. Now that you mention it though, that's not really a good reason not to consider it and I wouldn't mind something small. Thanks so much for the insight and great advice :)

I have some international family but all of my immediate family is in the USA. Granted, between me, my parents and my siblings - we're in 4 different states so it can be a 6hr plane ride + driving to get to each other. I really appreciate your perspective and support. I'm struggling hard with this and your words are much appreciated ❤

At least in my state they have to pay me for unused vacation when I leave :P That'll be a month's salary! I've heard "you can do that later" or "when you/I retire" SOOOO many times. I think we're all just hardwired (in the states) to build our lives around work instead of work being one component of our life.

No worries, if you have any questions or anything don't hesitate to ask. I don't have the right answers, and they might not be helpful but I'm always around if you need me!

For me personally, I have never taken a career break. In my field, it's all about experience/ who you know to be able to move around and find work.

I first became unhappy with the job I was in after working there a few years. I was in a high stress environment, overworked and far from family and friends. It was taxing on my mental state so I started looking for work in a different field after 5 years. Here are the reasons why I didn't take a career break.

1. I was trying to switch fields and had no experience outside of medical, other than research experience in renewable energy. I was not about to take an entry level position when I knew my skills could be used in a different field, there would just be the learning curve for processes I wasn't familiar with. I felt that switching fields was hard enough as it is and would be even harder if I had a gap of several months that wasn't to go back to school

2. I was planning on moving to the opposite coast. Moving cross country is expensive. I could have dipped into my savings, but without the certainty of income, I could be dipping more than I would like into my savings. most apartments also like to see proof of employment and I was not about to move back in with my parents after years of living independent.

3. what would I do without a job that I couldn't naturally do with a job? Traveling and vacations cost money. I would be dipping into retirement money or money for a house, which would put me that much further out for both. You still get vacation days with a job and disposal income for vacations. You also appreciate taking a break more when you aren't doing it all the time. Sorta like, you appreciate the warm weather when it's been blistering cold all winter. I would be bored out of my mind after a while and not truly appreciate the time off. You also miss out on that social interaction that comes with a job. For me, it's all about having a good work-life balance that allows you to do both.

Everything is circumstantial though and what it is you feel you need out of life. Towards the end, I was going through some real shit and I could have taken a break or a job I didn't like just to get out, but I knew in the long term I wouldn't be happy with either of those options. Looking back, I'm glad everything happened the way it did and needed to happen the way it did even though it felt like my world was falling apart. It gave me a new perspective on life, which I'm grateful for.

Thanks for the insight :) I definitely need to follow your lead when it comes to "I knew in the long term I wouldn't be happy with either of those options." One reason I've asked the general community for input is because I don't want to rush into anything just to do something and end up not happy with my decision. Making an intentional decision is my primary goal - whether it's to take a break, work part time, stay where I am, get a new job, etc. I tend to generally know when something will not make me happy (even if I don't know what will make me happy) and keeping that in mind rather than being impatient is important. Luckily I won't be moving cross-country again anytime soon (sooo expensive!), but I do need to think about not having income. I want to spend time with family, but how much can I really afford to travel to visit them if I'm not working? These are all things I'm trying to consider and I appreciate your input and perspective ❤

I think you need to ask yourself, what it is that motivates you and what you need to be pointed at your true north. True north are the things you need to improve your quality of life that align with your values. I knew someone I went to college with that was an artist for most of his life, but it wasn't sustainable. He knew he wanted a sustainable job so when he was in his late 40s, he went back to school for engineering. One of the best teammates I ever had LOL. You can do anything you set your mind to and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

If you took the break, try to envision what that would be like, what would you do and if that would truly give you what you need to be happy or if you are using it as a quick escape to a current problem.

[Edit] For me too I also didnt know what I wanted besides getting out of medical. I love the renewable energy field but the jobs out there are startups that are high risk or government funded looking for doctorates. So I was unsure in the beginning what it was I wanted to do and had to think about the different fields that came closest to what aligns with my values.

Update (in case anyone is interested) - I have decided to take a break and will be giving my notice sometime in August. I second-guess myself every day and kept flipping back and forth in my mind but deep down I think it is the right thing for me. It's scary and my fear has been making me delay but it's not going to get less scary and dealing with whatever comes after is just uncertainty that I need to accept to move forward. Thanks again for all of your input, it really did help me think from different perspectives and consider some scenarios I hadn't before <3

: Best of luck on this next stage of your journey <3 making a decision is always tough and full of second guessing, but you've found the path that feels right. Keep your head high moving forward, you've got this!

Thank you lovely! It's certainly scary but hopefully liberating (I think those feelings will come more after I quit)