I decided to come here and ask y'all because I can't figure out what really happened here. Please forgive my English, it's not my first language and I haven't practiced it for a while now!

I met this really cute guy who I know is very humble, my mother and his mother used to work together and I know their story. This guy, let's call him V, we met randomly this other day and got along pretty well. We were dating for a couple weeks now, and V told me how anxious he was about this pandemic, the need of finding more jobs since he just opened his own company (he works with installations and electronics) and how he was struggling because he wanted to help his father finish building their house so he can finally earn enough to go live independantly, start his life per say.

At my workplace, we needed to install a television for one of our classrooms. So I thought, I will ask V for his price to do this job and then find a couple others and send all the budgets for my boss to evaluate and choose one from them. And as I knew V needed the money, I went out there and picked two more but from places I know would be more costy. And it worked out, my boss asked me to contact exactly who I wanted for the installation, so I picked up my phone to tell him the good news. I told him, "it's great because now we can meet again", seeing we live a bit far and see each other once or twice in the week. But his reaction was totally the opposite of what I was expecting. V said I was "unfair" to other workers and that I shouldn't have done what I did (picking from other places that I knew were more expensive than his requirement), even though he knew my intentions were good, but that what I did was wrong.

But it's not like I cheated on the prices or anything, I just went for bigger companies whose budgets I knew were more costy than his because I knew how badly he could use the money right now.

So, am I the asshole here? Please someone help me understand this, I feel really confused. This situation happened this afternoon and me and V haven't spoken since, he thanked me for doing it in the end, but I feel a bit awkward now to reply to anything he sends.

In my opinion, I don't think you were necessarily in the wrong. Getting three estimates for a project is a fairly standard practice in either business or personal life. That's also the advice I was given for finding a suitable contractor, so you can compare the price of a project, the relative quality of the work they do, and their timeliness/professionalism without getting overwhelmed.

The other reality is that people hire contractors based on the recommendations of relationships outside of work, and their personal previous experiences. I once worked in an office where we needed some electrical work done, and I suggested a company my dad had worked with because 1) the electrician was easy to work with and pleasant, and 2) he did good work.

Plus, for your estimates, you went with one person you knew, and two other big companies (that sound well-known in your area). I don't see a problem with that, either, because if you researched for this work on your own, you likely would've found those companies anyway, and not heard much about their prices until you got the estimate. I will say that it's common for the more well-known companies to charge more, so I don't think it's a surprise when people get a high estimate. (Again, speaking from experience--when my partner and I needed our trees trimmed, we got two estimates from big companies, and one from a guy my parents later recommended. Surprise--the two big companies were incredibly expensive, and the independent contractor charged like... literally a fraction of their estimate lol.)

I think he may have reacted in that way because he probably wants his work to speak for itself--especially since he's just starting out--and not be accused of reaping the benefits of a relationship. If you're truly confident in his work and he does a good job, though, then I don't think that what you did was dishonest or unfair.

I don't think you were an asshole. I also don't understand his reaction - a job is a job is a job regardless of how you get it. And who the hell cares if you have some sort of relationship with the person helping you to get that job. If you're confident in your ability to complete the tasks you're given, the relationship with that person will become irrelevant.

Only when things go south for one of the people involved, the other one might find themselves in a weird position, but other than that... It sounds like to me that this V guy is rather insecure in his skills. Or he might not want to do the job to begin with. As a freelancer and a person who sews now and then, i'd react like V only if I was being offered a job I didn't want for whatever reason, or not confident I can do it (because i find it too complicated). OR, and this could also be a possibility, he might have felt insulted by "cheap guy VS expensive companies" aspect of it... We ALL want to pay as little as possible and to get the best results. But I still don't think you were the bad person here.

I don't know how you should proceed though. Maybe just tell V you're sorry and that you didn't mean anything bad through the job offer. Also, maybe ask him beforehand, next time.

Thanks guys for your input. I did apologize and he said it was all good, I got another person to do the job and it turns out he just wasn't willing to meet me I guess, seeing he said a couple days after that that he only saw me as a friend, yadda yadda. Eh, he didn't have to turn down a job offer just because he didn't want to see my face, I mean, it's my workplace, what did he think I was going to do? /facepalm

But I'm good now that I left this situation, I mean, if I had to walk on eggshells when we were together and watch for my every move not to scare him or bug him like that, this was probably for the best.

Thank you again for taking your time <3 really appreciate it.

I'm glad to hear the situation got cleared out. I'm sorry he saw you as just a friend, but it's good he told you in the end. Better sooner rather than later in this case. /virtual hugs.

This is a classic case of "it's not you, it's me" kind of thing, huh? And a million times better than having to walk on eggshells. Better luck next time. ;)

I get that he didn't want to get a job through nepotism but work is work. Nowadays it's just easier to get work though knowing someone. You are not the a**hole in this situation.

I dont think so, glad to hear it cleared tho