Sorry kind of longish.

I live in the mountains and I rent the bottom apartment of a duplex. I have been paying over all 1500$ a month to live here for the past year, and 900$ a month for two years prior to that for some space upstairs. Ended up moving downstairs for more room. On the 3rd of this month, my SO asked to see the bills. Because he has been staying with me the last 5 months, he noticed something wasn't right with the bills. See, me and the above tenant are supposed to split all of the bills here 50/50, but somehow my half was always 400 or more. My SO asked to see the electric bill when she claimed that my half for it alone was 400$, she waited in my apartment on my couch until I got off of work.

Which is 1 in the morning mind you, because I work the night shift. My SO also isn't home yet for another hour and a half. So it is just me. Alone.

To tell me that she "Miscalculated" the bills, handed me 100$ of my money back in cash and told me that I had 30 days.

I had to bargain with her to get my 30 days, because this all took place on february 3rd, which would mean I had until the 3rd of next month. No, she wanted me out by the 28th which a lot less than 30 days. Also, I have never had a lease the entire four years I have been living here, and I was not given a written eviction notice. I was TOLD I had 30 days to find somewhere to go. Which by the way....in the middle of a pandemic, is almost impossible. I have actually gotten into many arguments with my SO at home, because the stress has both of us feeling some type of way, so emotions are already high.

I have an apartment lined up, closer to my SO's family so that could be a thing, and it was the only thing available right now. Everything has already been leased out MONTHS in advance, we just happened to get extremely lucky with this place. I go to meet with the property manager tuesday and go over the lease she sent me, but I wont be able to move in until the 27th of next month. So that means, I have to rush to put this stuff in a storage unit that I just bought today for 90$, then find a hotel that is pet friendly...and even then most of them said they only accept dogs. (My poor cats) OH....and did I mention I have a 6 year old son?

Soooo lets add his over all mental health and happiness to the mix. He doesn't really understand what is going on, he just wants to play and tends to get very frustrated himself. I also am having to figure out what is going to happen with his schooling...is he going to be able to complete where he is already at, or do I have to transfer him still. Because due to the pandemic, he is in virtual.

Needless to say. I have screamed, I have cried, I have all, but ripped my own hair out of my head and I am barely hanging onto any semblance of sanity at this point......

Any advice or uplifting words would be much appreciated....I feel like I am drowning here.

Hugs

Your son is going to be okay. They bounce back pretty quickly at that age. He might have to switch schools, but he should be fine. At that age, it's not as hard to catch up to the class. I changed schools when I was 8 and was able to catch up pretty quickly. My math was a little behind at my old school, but math is my best subject so I lucked out there. I know he's going to fight the change at first, but he will be okay, I promise.

Your SO sounds like a good person. HIs family might be willing to help you. I know I get along very well with my in-laws. They actually have helped us out quite a bit. My parents have come to like my hubby, too.

As far as finding a place that will take your cats, I don't know much about that. All I know is if you have them as emotional support animals, they have to allow them.

As far as moving your stuff goes, you might have to get help from friends/family. Someone should have a pickup or something that can take large objects. You might need a couple of guys to help you lift things.

I know it's a lot to take on all at once, but I will be praying for you. You're going to get through this and be a LOT stronger on the other side. I know it's hard, but believe that things will get better, because they will. You won't have to deal with the crap your upstairs neighbor is spewing.

/sending virtual hugs your way I'm wondering if your bills we higher because of occupying more space and being more people under the same roof? In Romania, in apartment buildings, we pay for maintenance that includes heating, water and gas based on the number of rooms the apartment has (the living room is considered a 'room' like the bedroom is, but i'll explain a bit the situation using US terms to make it easier), and the number of people living in it. So, a person living alone in a 2 bedroom apartment could pay about as much as 2 people in a 1 bedroom apt. Only electricity/TV/phone are separate expenses. I even heard some crazy stories of building admins including the pets in the number of people living in an apt, though the animals don't consume as much water to begin with, and not many people cook for their pets.

Things will be ok. Just hang in there as this will pass. If your SO treats you well, try not to fight too much - you need one another right now. And you both need to be strong for one another.

Thank you guys so much for your kindness and warm vibes.

Update,

I am actually already into my new place and it is a THOUSAND times better for us than the last one. I am actually one the last two days of the move. We have one more thing to do and then we are done, which is finish painting the room that was mine. Literally just have to finish a few spots towards the ceiling and then done. Will be done tomorrow.

Now my only headache is she actually wants me to give her money to put towards this months bills. I want to be the bigger person and just give it to her, but A.) I haven't been staying there the last two weeks, and B.) with the cost of moving out I don't have it. I told her I would give it to her out of my tax return. I just really want to wrap this up, but thankfully it's a few hours from being over with.

Aww, i'm glad to hear it! And yes, she has to wait. though, why did he even say she miscalculated the bill, gave you $100 and now she wants it back?! such a greedy ...... (fill in the blank as you see fit). And you should only pay for the half month you stayed, not the whole month. It won't be the end of the world after she kicked you out like that because of it. And you moved in the new place earlier? Glad you could do that!

Another update on this situation:

I wish I could say that everything is all good now, and while most of it is, this woman is STILL giving me a hard time. She blows up my phone at least 6 to 7 times a day now. I have her blocked on all social media, I wasn't going to block her phone number right away just in case I guess, but today is the day that she burned that final bridge with me and my family. Not only did I end up blocking her number, this woman has shown up at my work and called other family members to tell them that she suspects that I am under the influence of and I quote...."Heavy Drugs" that she "knows it" because someone told her?

Here is the thing, no I do not do drugs, and who the heck would tell her? I suffer from BPD and as a rule of my crippling anxiety, no friends. I am a bit of a home body as I have gotten older, so I would like to know who this someone supposedly is. This crazy lady has also not only, with held my mail, but opened to confirm I had received my stimulus and actually called my work phone as well.

My SO had enough and sent her an email telling her, that she had crossed a line and if she went out of her way to contact us again she would be facing harassment charges. I am really hoping that we may be reaching the end of this fiasco.

If she opened your mail you can have her arrested.....(assuming your in the US) that's federal

Dude what a rollercoaster! I had to contend with one last year as well amd its never easy to move when you think you're ok with how things were. As I see it you owe her nothing more than the 2 weeks you stayed for a month. If you can prove when your first day sleeping away from that address was all the better. And honestly she can't really push for more than that as there was no formal lease/leaving residence forms completed. As for the bills I say $100 ONE TIME as a "miscalculation" seems sus. If she pushes for you to give money ask for proof of the cost of the bills, how can you trust the $100 was correct? Recently where I'm at they dropped our rates because they didn't expand the city like they had hoped and by myself I got a $200 credit as refund for the time the rates were in effect. The fact she wouldn't show you a bill, hands you cash then says gtfo makes her look all kinds of bad. When I share bills with anyone they get posted on the fridge/somewhere everyone can clearly see amount due and when. Why hide the cost of bills? I say good riddance and make it abundantly clear she's in for harassment and defamation charges if she doesn't quit. And like its stated above, her opening YOUR mail without your express permission IS a federal crime you can push at her too. Use this new space to start a new and better chapter for your family.

She took and opened your mail? that's theft! Thieves belong in prison. Contacting your family and workplace? that's harassment AND stalking! The police needs to get involved. But you need phone records and all the evidence you can gather of this. The mail opening you mentioned, might be of help as well. It sounds like to me you need a restraining order against her. :( From now on, collect and record in a notebook everytime she calls or contacts in any way. It will be helpful from a legal point of view.

You have BPD? It doesn't sound like it... It sounds as if this woman might have it. eeek! unless she's a psycho, which doesn't sound too far off from what you described. But of course, I'm not a professional in the field, and neither me or anyone else in here is qualified to throw diagnoses around.

Stay safe!