It was my uncle. Well. I'm angry, hurt and just. empty. Again. He blames my dad, because we couldn't loan him 2k a month to live on. (Which we don't have, either.)

I have had several relatives on both sides of my family take their own lives. It stinks. I know how it feels to wish they had reached out to someone who can help them. I actually help staff a drop-in center and a Warmline that help with mental health/substance use issues. I would rather talk with someone for as long as it takes to get them to a safe place than to hear that they succumbed to their illness. I enjoy this job immensely because I get the chance to help prevent this situation from happening.

We actually found out about one of them 2 1/2 years AFTER it happened because my mom's brother killed himself and they thought to tell my mother that her sister had done it 2 1/2 years prior!!! It felt like a kind of betrayal because my poor mother had no idea. None of us knew.

i'm so sorry for your loss. :( It's nobody's fault. Poor man saw no other way out :( It was difficult finding a job before the nonsense outbreak, and it's more difficult now. Try and stay strong and safe.

Wow. I'm glad you've had that success with your job, it's certainly worth while. I wish my uncle had called someone like you. Thank you. It's been... rough. I wish he'd been able to ask for help, instead of putting us through that. (Especially his son, my cousin. He's only 20 and he's the one that found him. No one should have to go through that. Ever.) Yet at the same time he'd been battling severe depression since his divorce and substance abuse issues and degenerative disc disease, and money issues, but ... well, my emotions are a jumble.

It's understandable you're feeling the way you do. I cannot imagine how your cousin feels though... poor guy :( Sadly, many men find it VERY hard to talk to someone and ask for emotional help. :( It sounds like your uncle had his plate quite full, so to speak.
This is of no consolation, of course, it's just how things are, in most cases. Stay strong. /virtual hug/