Long background story short: I've lived with lupus (SLE) for about 11 years or so now. 5 years ago I had lymphoma which I survived & am in recession now (5 years cancer free this Nov). Only remnant from the cancer was 1 lymph node in my neck (right under my skull) that was slightly thickened, but declared harmless as scans don't show it as cancerous but just somehow permanently increased in size.

Disclaimer: I'm by no means suicidal, just a very, very tired potato.

Lately I've been getting more and more inflammations and overall "pains", making it very difficult for me to push through daily life. I had bursitis in both shoulders starting last year December which lasted up until about last month, causing me constant pain in my shoulders and even my elbows. My work (now jobless) involved a lot of sitting and computer work, resulting in a lot of wrist pains, even though I took regular breaks and followed physio exercises. It's like my body just breaks down twice as fast and needs to recover twice as long as others. Now 1 month ago I strained my triceps by reaching on a high shelf, got an echo done to confirm and doc said it'd be better in 2 weeks. On top of that, I'm having very bad neck pains where the lymph node is, because if my muscles tense, it pushes against the node. Right next to that, the other muscle is also extremely tense and hurting like hell, despite me doing my stretching exercises at least every other hour when I'm sitting.

Here I am, crying in pain because I'm just so tired and done with living like this. I go to the doctor and they prescribe me painkillers and Diclofenac salve, which barely even helps anymore. On top of that I'm jobless and need to job hunt, which also causes me a lot of stress, making my lupus act up, not making my inflammations any easier. I'm just so, so tired to the point I can't even deal with people anymore at all. The only light that's making me get up in the morning and take a nice shower and take care of myself is my supportive husband, but he's also at the point where he doesn't know what more he can do to help me besides being supportive. I've tried going to multiple doctors but it seems like I just have to learn to live with it.

I also don't like taking painkillers every single day because I recently found out I have a lot of food sensitivities (lactose, garlic, onion, wheat, gluten, bananas, nuts, eggs) and the painkillers can be heavy on my already damaged system (not to mention I've had 2 esophagus inflammations + reflux earlier this year for 4 weeks). I luckily already ate mostly vegan about 3 years ago (in the hopes that eating no more meat would somehow help the inflammations go down), but changing my diet has also been a hassle, if not the least of my worries. I went to see a homeopath for this, as I was getting desperate and had literally nowhere else to go. So I'm hoping he'll help me, somehow. He's also advised me to stop taking my birth control after I get used to my new diet, but I'm just scared my menstrual pains will be kicking me too hard again (I take a birth control that prevents me from having my monthly cycle).

Any advice or coping mechanisms?

I feel your pain, kind of. I have fibromyalgia. Recently, my back has started to hurt. I went to the doctor and they said I had to do exercises and see if things get better. I am thinking of going to the chiropractor tomorrow to see if that will help. Meanwhile, I am resting here at home. It hurts really badly to stand up from a sitting position. There is a definite "knot" in my back. The doctor doesn't seem to think it's serious, so I hope she's right.

By the way, has anyone recommended or prescribed Gabapentin? It seems to help with fibro; I don't know about lupus. It's a medication that works on the nerve pain. It isn't touching the back pain very much, so I don't think it's related to fibro. I think I must have strained a muscle. We will find out soon.

My best piece of advice for you is if you need to rest, please rest. Don't strain yourself too much. If you do get a job, get one with flexible hours. That way, you can rest if you need to. One of my best coping mechanisms is gaming. That's why I am on here so much. I also play RPG's like Star Ocean, as well as Pokemon and other games. It's helpful sometimes just to get "out of your own head", so to speak. I know that it is easier said than done, but I believe you can do it. Even playing on Subeta can help with that.

I am also married...he doesn't play on Subeta, but he is pretty supportive.