So I wasn’t quite sure where to put this. If I harp on about it any more to my family they’re gonna kill me so here I am lol Anyway has anyone ever been unfriended randomly by a Facebook glitch, or noticed someone disappeared from them and the other person deny having unfriended you? Recently, like in the last 6 months.

Background: my ex is seeing someone and lives with her. Now that’s fine. We’ve been separated 2.5 years. We’re friends but don’t talk a whole lot lately anyway. Well last year she got caught going through our messages. They were innocent and clear but we were both understandably upset. Cool. Well I’m certain that wasn’t the last time but I don’t have proof so I haven’t said anything. Three weeks ago around Easter I noticed I wasn’t friends with him on Facebook anymore (I had blocked her in February because she was repeatedly requesting friendship, tagging me in comments, liking my comments on mutual friends things, I have never met this girl in my life. I never responded to any of those things and I’d finally had enough so I blocked her.) So I messaged him asking him to call me and I asked if I had offended or upset him and why did he delete me. He didn’t believe me for a minute til he checked Facebook and saw I was in fact no longer his friend. He changed his passwords to his phone and Facebook and added me back. Heavily implied he thought she did it but let it go. So did I. A week later he texts me saying he thinks maybe it’s his phone deleting things randomly because my contact stuff was in his trash folder on his phone saying it was deleted on the 21st. And I was the only one in there. He refuses to believe that might be her too. And now he just told me he doesn’t think she deleted me from his Facebook either. So my question remains about Facebook, google turned up that there’s been no online discussion on any glitches randomly deleting friends since 2018. And google also says it’s unlikely his phone only deleted ONE contact.

Thoughts or opinions welcome 🤷🏻‍♀️

To me its clear cut its her. No ifs ands or buts. If it was TRULY randomly FB or a phone problem there would be MORE than your info gone. Ask him if other friends on his FB somehow went away? How does a phone take out info for ONLY one person? And also usually there's conformation screens for making edits or deleting.

Sounds like he could be trying to not face facts with this behavior coming from her. I really suspect if he changed EVERY thing that would require pass codes your info wouldn't vanish. She's being childish rather than talking about what she's thinking or feeling.

That issue is for them to sort out. Aa much as we want to save friends from heartache there are lessons they have to learn themselves. Now you know him better than I do. So if you feel he'd tolerate you asking, ask about if any of his other friends vanished from FB. If he wouldn't listen right now just bite your words and be supportive where you can.

Right, exactly my point. I can’t get past that it was just my number from his phone and the sheer coincidence that this just happened in the same week?

You’re right, I do want to shield him from heartbreak but he has made his decision. He wants to believe her and honestly I can’t fault him for that. But he conversation was poorly handled yesterday and now I am not in a place to bring it up again to try to get more information on why he thinks it was a technical glitch on both counts. I’ve had a bad feeling about her from the start, but I chalked it up to ex-feelings of maybe some jealousy? But after speaking with his dad (this guy and I were together 5 years which is still the majority of our adult lives), I know that my feelings were not just jealousy or something, not that everyone has to love her, but let’s just say from what I heard, it was confirmed my initial feelings were justified.

I’m backing off and offering support if he wants it. It just breaks my heart that he is going to let this all go, ignoring some pretty giant red flags for the sake of having someone to be with. She’s had a vendetta against me, she wanted to keep an eye on me, hence all the friend requests. I’m not sure whether she is feeling insecure or jealous or if she thinks she’s in some sort of imaginary competition but I have a decent reason to believe it wasn’t her being ‘friendly’. She denies it all up and down but again, I’ve never met her. That’s why I never accepted her friend requests, not because I was trying to be a jerk. I don’t accept people I’ve never met. I’m holding back but you hit the nail on the head; if he could trust her like he says (“I have different passwords for everything, I even don’t let anyone see me unlock my phone.... but she won’t even touch my phone without my permission after I caught her reading messages!”) If that were true, he wouldn’t need any passwords or locks. In the 5 years we were together he never locked his phone and I never touched it. It’s a trust thing and he obviously knows on some level that I’m right. He just won’t admit it. It’s his mistake to make and I’ve said my piece. I just wanted an outsiders opinion to make sure I wasn’t blowing this completely up and somehow falsely accusing her.

If other people are saying things you've felt about her that's worth paying attention to. Better yet you've not met her face to face and have those gut feelings. Trust them and trust what you want to do for your friend. I feel its a good thing you don't add her to your FB or other media. This way she has nothing to use against you ever. The ONLY messages I'd expect you to answer from her is if she told you about an emergency.

I've had issues with phones myself. Once it did a full factory reset because I had to put it in a holster for work and the dumb thing held buttons down and poof EVERYTHING GONE. I didn't even have internet for hours after That happened. I also just went through my phone (needed to get rid of some numbers) and it was this process for my phone: Contacts> Options> Click Delete> Select Numbers> Confirm I imagine other phones have similar process all ending with a confirmation. Now I'm gonna admit I used to look through exes phones. But to be partly fair they went from being chill about me handing them their phone to suddenly freaking out if I even moved it aside. So that's also why I'm positive she meddled with his phone. Granted I never would have deleted stuff, I'm that one who confronts if I find something bad. Granted I've grown since then and if they wanna act a fool they can gtfo lol

Just breathe and be there as his friend. Its so hard to do when you know what's heading for them. I feel it personally right now too. My long term friend has lost his mind for a girl who OPENLY shows her hostility to me. He won't listen to reason and all they seem to do is fight when together. But despite protesting and trying to get him to think if its worth somebody who is openly hostile to a friend he won't hear it. Dumb part is I've done nothing to her. Talked about videos we like to watch, games we play, just pretty basic light hearted talk. So all we can do is ait back and let things play out, unless it gets truly dangerous.

That’s precisely my instinct. My gut has always been great with first impressions and general feelings. It doesn’t take a genius to see she needs a lot of attention and the fact he gives me any is likely why she’s up my behind. But she needn’t worry anymore, he’s been distancing anyway. But I’m positive she’d never message me in an emergency anyway. And I’ll also never add her on any social media. I made my Instagram private when I got a notification she hearted something and then took it back (cause when I went to that picture the notification and her name weren’t there anymore) 🙄 I’m just over it so she’s blocked on Facebook anyway.

Hey no judgement from me. I’ve gone through ex’s stuff (just not his). For the same reasons mostly. But you’re right, now if they wanna play around they can move on to someone else. If you’ve got a problem with me near your phone cause you’re being dumb- bye!

That just sucks though for you. You never dated him? I really dislike when women/girls are so insecure they just have to be hostile like that. Like, trust me I totally understand, I compare myself to pretty much every girl I come in contact with but I try really hard not to, and I definitely don’t let it affect the way I act around them unless they also turn out to be a crappy person. But even then I’m not even hostile, I just have nothing to do with you. All this from someone who doesn’t even have any real friends 😂😂😂 But anyway, yeah, I totally get where you’re coming from. I’ll always be there for him but I can see him cutting me out entirely by the end of this year to appease her. And I already told him that once he does that for her, she’s likely just going to find someone else to fixate on until he cuts them out (or she does, turns out cause she’s got no respect for privacy and will just do it herself 🙄) they’ll fight over someone else etc. he didn’t listen I guess but he’ll see for himself unfortunately.

I am very fortunate in that my hubby doesn't contact his ex much. He has given me absolutely no reason to not trust him if he does talk to her. She is no longer in that role in his life and they both leave it at that. Which is fine by me.

: If she is going to be like that, I hope he wises up and gets away from her. The way she is treating him and you is just not right. He deserves to be able to talk to you if he wants.

Thank you for your input. I completely agree with you. Part of the problem here is that he won’t admit she doesn’t like him talking to me. I believe he’s afraid to be called a hypocrite and doesn’t want to admit I’ve been right this whole time. At this point it’s his mistake to make but I hope he wises up soon too. It isn’t right and I feel sad for him.

this happened to me lol sounds like your ex's partner got jealous and doesn't want you two communicating That's a shame though it's very controlling and if you are making your partner do that clearly you are insecure and have deeper issues you need to address

Yep, that’s exactly what I believe happened. It’s been going on for a long time. But he started distancing himself only recently so I’m fairly sure she issued much harsher consequences or ultimatums about talking to me. It’s a shame but if that’s his choice then there’s nothing I can do but hope he doesn’t sacrifice everything that makes him happy to stay with her. He’s the type to do that. I just feel sad about losing him. And angry that he’s swearing up and down she doesn’t care that we talk. It’s obvious that’s not the case but he’d rather bury his head in the sand and just cut me out anyway 😔

ugh honestly that's brutal. it's not really an easy thing to just "get over" or anything either? obviously you care very deeply and kindly for him as a friend but you're not getting the same energy back and it's painful when you get treated like that.