I don’t know if it’s just my area, or maybe it’s just me that sticks out as an easy target.. but it really feels like the gym is made for people already in shape and they want to keep it that way. :s

When I’m not using anything for transport or to help me walk, I look averagely healthy- a bit off but nothing that screams disabled, so I get why people might not want to help me. That’s fine, y’know ? I can ask for help if I need it- in fact I like it that way. Give me a chance to see if I can do things on my own.

But.. to walk into the changing room and have two muscular hairy beasts walk up behind me and bark that I’m in the wrong changing room was SCARY. I felt like my tiny frail body was insulting them somehow, but how am I meant to get any stronger unless I keep trying ?

Now, I know the reality was probably more along the lines of them genuinely thinking I was a lost woman making them feel embarrassed and insecure, but it was definitely intimidating. When I left my bag and jacket in the locker I was shaken up wondering if they’d try to break in and steal/ruin something.

I took a breath, went into the gym area, was absolutely confused by the machines and wandered around a bit (thankfully a lovely woman training there came over and helped me- bless you), did a few sets of this.. leg extender thing ? I used my ankles to push a weight up ? and realised wow I’m super unfit oh my gosh this is what using your thighs feels like, shakily grabbed my stuff and got ready to leave.

On my way out, I stopped by the front desk and asked when the least busy times were (also mentioning casually what had happened earlier- the desk guy snickered. Yeah, alright, I get it, I’m tiny and I have very, very long hair. I happen to like my appearance thank you very much, I’m here to lose weight before surgery not become a human dorito chip).

I spent the night feeling really weird, wondering if I should just never go back. But.. that’s silly, right ? I won’t let them ruin trying to get healthier for me. So, instead of going after work times, today I’m going to try again. I’ll go before work, between 12-2pm, and I’ll turn up in my gym clothes, no need to use a locker. Just keep my phone and keys in my pockets.. Maybe if I establish a presence it’ll get easier.

At the end of the day, what’s the worst that could happen ? The most extreme scenario ? I get beaten up ? Big deal. I have way more to gain by going than giving in. Also, wow I wish changing cubicles were a thing instead of giant rooms full of genitals being waved about. Sir, I don’t want to inhale any of your pen*s particles.

I’d say try to continue, because at the end of the day the only person important is yourself. If it gets to much maybe consider other gyms i guess if possible.

Sounds like you just had a bad experience, because gyms are not supposed to be like that. If it keeps up, I'd definitely consider switching. Some gyms are absolutely more...bro-y than others.

Gyms really are super intimidating at first, but you have to tell yourself most everyone at the gym is there to work on themselves. As long as you clean up after yourself, no one will pay you much attention. And most people are more than willing to help a newbie out. They were all once were you are, and everybody loves to be part of a success story!

Maybe just start out with something simple like the treadmills or stair-stepper till you get more comfortable, then maybe approach a regular to help you with the weight machines. Most of them have pictures to show you how to work them, and you can always look it up on youtube. Just remember to be safe, and don't compare yourself to the regulars or try to keep up with them. You're there for you, not them. Good luck!

fiance got a gym subscription in march last year. we tried to go every other day. But man, was it intimidating. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. especially the changing room. i felt judged, but tried to shrug it off.. i only saw a fully naked person once. i tried not to look. LMAO.. everyone else was trying to cover up their privates, but this person was walking around butt naked with no issues.

I had this trainer come show me how to use one of the machines for the legs -man was that torturous, haha. can't say i noticed any changes :( but maybe i did everything wrong. You want to do cardio more than anything if you want to lose weight, so the treadmill.. start with just walking. and slowly increase the speed of the machine. good luck! try other gyms as well, see where you like it more. We have a gym at the mall - tried it once....nope, never again. bye, good riddance... >.>

also, guys with long hair look better ;)

i'm sorry for that bad experience you had! i use to feel the same way about the gym, until i found the one i'm currently at. some gyms are more specific for body builders, due to the machines and amenities that they offer. i would suggest a planet fitness, that's where i went (before the pandemic shut it down). i would also suggest looking at youtube videos, or even sometimes on the machine they have a little diagram on how to use the machine. i'm sure i still use some of the machines wrong, but that's okay. i use to feel like everyone use to watch me when i ran or worked out because i feel like i'm doing it funny or wrong, but more than 80% of the time, the people you think are starting at you are actually self conscious about themselves. i hope you try it again and have a better experience!

this story made me sad, but so happy you are still planning to go back! I have been going to a public gym for almost 10 years and I've learned a lot! Firstly, a thought about those jerks. Allllll different types of people go to the gym, and sometimes I think those big body builders latch onto their fitness so much because it's the ONLY thing they have going for them; kind of like a school bully they are really insecure about themselves if you take away their muscles.

I find that simply planning ahead, like you mentioned, helps so much! I started out planning every move I made - including the time I was going to go, the outfit I was going to wear, which locker I was going to use, that I'd put my headphones in and go to the bathroom quickly then go onto the gym floor. If you're able to use the treadmill, elliptical, anything like that before you start I find it helps by warming up your body and giving you a chance to view the whole gym, what people are there, how they are using the equipment, etc. before you go mingle among them.

I also believe it's helpful to use YouTube as a resource. There are so many workout ideas there. I still write down each workout I want to do and an alternative if the machine is taken so I don't feel awkward. There are also a lot of body weight things you can do, or moves that only require a dumbbell and a bench and thus a very small amount of space if it's crowded! You can do an entire lower or upper body workout in one corner of the gym with a mat or bench and 1-2 weights. Also, if you haven't yet, I'd recommend trying a rowing machine if your gym as it! It's a really great full body workout!