Hello,

I'm wondering if there could perhaps be anyone else here who (thinks) they suffer with chronic loneliness. I feel like most of the symptoms pertain to me and I've always felt and proven throughout my life (no exaggeration) to be the outlier from social groups. It's got to the point that it's the only reality known and I cannot fathom (or maybe even want...) to have a social life. It's not so easy to just ask to go out with someone since the people I mainly associate with are coworkers (most if not all are two-faces and talk about me anyway); I'm afraid to really go to any meetups and the closest would be at a fairly long distance just for it to last an hour or two at best; I cannot even make eye contact on the streets in fear that I would get some undesirable and repulsed response - and yes, it has happened enough times where if I had told anyone they would think I'm simply paranoid.

Even when/if there had/are times I get to be around people, I still feel dissociated and that I want to leave or not think it's real. Many nights I lay awake alone and wonder what the point really is if I'm 'destined' to remain this way.

Bit of a rant. I just want to know if anyone feels similarly. It doesn't help that time makes it all the more antagonizing.

Hi .

I guess it depends on where you live and work.

My workplace is pretty busy but at home it's very quiet. I have a couple of friends from work but we can never get together because of our conflicting work schedules. And I have some very very dear Subeta friends that I've never met in real life but they are more real and kind and thoughtful to me than some people I actually know and work with.

I often feel very similarly and always attributed those symptoms to having social anxiety and depression. Those things and loneliness are all very linked and cyclic. It's all rather self-perpetuating and difficult to get out of.

I feel this way too and I figured it's just due to the fact that I am just very uncomfortable and need to get away because I feel I won't be able to interact in a way that is satisfying to me or the other person, and so I'm basically worried on some level about rejection...so I reject other people first by ending conversations and staying away and just kind of distancing myself. The discomfort makes it really hard to interact and I am very awkward.

This has always been an up and down problem throughout my life. I have had (though brief) periods of feeling great, and of being well-liked by my co-workers and having a respectable position at work. At the moment I suffer from loneliness, in large part due to having switched jobs a couple months ago to an environment with a lot of people. My status is lower and my awkwardness is now my prevailing trait, it seems. So people don't know me and I come off as having "something wrong with me" instead of being perceived how I want, and I feel like this is a hallmark of social anxiety -- worrying about what other people think. Again, self-perpetuating.

SO...when you get lonely you can get anxious. When you're anxious, you're prone to self-sabotage. You see people as potential "threats" and perceive their faces as more hostile than they actually are, and you wind up being less likable because you see them that way. I try break this cycle and maintain a friendly disposition and am careful who I converse with and stay away from gossip and just try to avoid inconveniencing people as much as possible. I don't think anyone dislikes me, I think I'm just...weird. But I'm other, more positive things, too. I don't feel understood...that makes me feel alone.

I don't mean to make this about myself, I'm just throwing my personal experience out there to see if you can relate. If you can, let me know! I've spent a lot of time (since I'm alone a lot cough) thinking about these things and finding ways to introspect and help myself. At times it works, sometimes my circumstances make it a little more difficult.

Also, if you feel you know your co-workers don't like you, are you able to find a job? Do you have anywhere where you can volunteer? I used to work at an animal shelter and that was how I got out into the world. Also, are there any activities that you do that you enjoy by yourself that make you do something, go somewhere, make/build something? I have found that doing stuff like that makes me like myself more and helps me feel more at peace and care less about other people's perceptions, but I have to have some discipline in order to keep at it.