i'm so stressed out about school and (my lack of) friendships. i'm turning 25 soon and i feel like i haven't accomplished anything in my life other than royally screwing up at every turn. i've failed in romantic relationships and platonic relationships. i've failed academically. i've failed at functioning as a basic human being. all of the relationships i've been in have been abusive of some sort and it's deluded my view of myself even further than it was before. my friendships are shallow and everyone i'm "friends" with is never there for me, but they expect me to be there for them. i was kicked out of college when i was 21 because my mental health was so poor and i couldn't physically finish a class that was required. i went back and decided on a different major, however my physical limitations are still present. it's difficult to get out of bed, it's difficult to move around, it's difficult to speak. i want a way out, but there isn't an honest one out.

i've tried therapy on multiple occasions, but i never made sense to any of the therapists. i've seen a psychologist for the past 16 years, but he's finally at his limit with me. i understand it would help to get a second opinion, but what's the point?

I'm going to be blunt with you, because I think that's what's best to be with others.

I think you need to try other psychologists. I think you need to move on from your current. I know you may feel comfortable, but it is time for change. It is time to talk to someone and feel inspired to expand on your life.

There may be negatives in your life but that's fine, you can move past those. Also, 25 is not old. I too suffer from depression, and we are not old. We are at a time in our life that brings a lot of fun to it (apparently).

My biggest advice though is to not be afraid of anything. If someone introduces, be their friend. If they don't want you to be, you tried, that's all that matters. Let anyone positive into your life.

16 years is a long time to not really be making progress with someone. I would definitely maybe try and seek out someone who specializes more in what your issues are, and see if they can offer a fresh perspective. You don't want to be seeing someone who feels like they're at their wits end, that's like talking to a brick wall.

Are you on any sort of medication(s) for any of this? Because that can make a huge difference.

I know this is going to sound like a platitude, but try not to focus so hard on things you've seemingly 'failed' at (they're things that everyone who has any sort of interpersonal experiences has dealt with - failed relationships/friendships are just a part of life). If it takes you longer to do things, or figure things out that's okay - everyone does things at their own pace, even if it feels like a struggle or hopeless at times.

Please realize that it is more and more common for people in their mid and late 20s to struggle. People are forced to make huge life decisions that they are supposed to stick with for decades before their brain has even fully developed and before even experiencing the career they want to get into. Many people don't know what to do or change their mind.

School is also expensive depending on where you go and is therefore a risk which does not make it easier for anyone with anxiety (which is also increasingly common), or just anyone trying to make wise, careful decisions with their lives.

Before I go any further...

Is this BECAUSE of your mental illness or a physical ailment? Either way that sounds like something that really, really needs medication.

Making it in this world isn't easy for everyone, especially those with mental and/or physical illnesses. Beating yourself up doesn't help anything and makes it worse, because you're less likely to succeed in that state of mind. You need to adjust your goals from getting into a relationship/becoming a "success" to working on your thought patterns and mundane habits. Obviously the overall larger goals seem far away so you feel bad about yourself, so just start small and build yourself up. Building yourself up should be the goal. Feel good about yourself and take care of yourself (this might include getting medication if you haven't).

Seeing a single psychologist for that long doesn't sound like something that is beneficial. You are talking to someone about problems which should lead to change yet the person you're talking to hasn't changed for a long time, so you're continuing a familiar pattern, when you should be straying from the usual pattern. Changing patterns should facilitate growth.

Why is it HIS limit? It ought to be yours if you haven't been benefiting. He's supposed to benefit YOU, not the other way 'round. If you want help, that's the point. The point is you want help. You should want help. Wanting something, acknowledging that something is wrong, wanting change, these are good reasons and good things. Don't not want. Don't deny things. Don't give up.

Also I just want to point out that there are inherent traits from genetics and experiences that you possess that only you possess, which you need to understand fully for yourself and when you do, you will understand that you are not entirely to blame, and ultimately validate yourself, to where YOU KNOW why you behave and are the way you are, that X behavior from other people causes Y behavior in you, and realize that that Y behavior is often a learned response, which is not necessarily a fault of anyone's, because likewise they are the way they are for a reason too (although if they are terrible, use the fact that you likely have a moral high-ground and strive to be a good person despite your circumstances. Be better than those who hurt you). In life, one thing leads to another, all experiences, thoughts, interactions all lead up to who you are now and those are things you don't choose. Do. Not. Beat. Yourself. Up.

I've left video links on other people's posts before, but I want to lay them here again, just in case it helps you. How to deal with depression A video about loneliness and how it affects your perception of other people

Just in case because you talked about abusive relationships: https://jebkinnison.com/bad-boyfriends-the-book/

Apologies if these are all things you knew already, but I figure it's better to assume not and throw this stuff out there.