So as many of you may know, I'm due with my 6th and last baby on November 28th. This has been a rather tough pregnancy, and since I spend more time on here than on social media, I'd like to share my story through this past year. ~~PREVIOUSLY After having my 5th baby in June of 2017, I reluctantly started the depo birth control. Everything seemed fine for awhile, until March of last year hit. (Mind you, I was ALWAYS bleeding while on this shot too). March of 2018, I noticed myself becoming increasingly depressed and anxious, no appetite, sharp painful headaches, cramps, everything. I figured it was the depo shot and immediately stopped. The depo stopped and so did the bleeding; all the other symptoms decreased over the next 6 months after going to a higher dose of antidepressant (was at 20mg, went to 30mg). Fall came and still no visit from mother nature, had a PAP test done and they found precancerous cells, despite me being negative for any STIs. So that warrants a repeat test every year. Well January of this year came and I was tired of not feeling "normal" with no mother nature visit and I started having baby fever, so asked my doctor for a pill to invite mother nature back. Well, she finally came back and after two of her visits I fell pregnant with J.J. I was worried at first, because of the previous no monthly thing, so I tested as soon as I missed the next. Pregnant.

The next few weeks were scary and I had to have repeated blood tests, as I was bleeding yet again after the positive test. My HCG levels were increasing however, and the bleeding stopped when I was 9 weeks. (that only ever happened with one other child). Fast forward to my 18 week ultrasound; baby was looking good, however, my placenta was low-lying and had multiple lakes. I never knew what that meant until I did my research. ~~CURRENTLY Now, next week I have my next ultrasound. I am hoping to hear my placenta is now normal and has moved up, as placental lakes can suggest the placenta getting ready to embed itself in the uterus and low lying placenta can fall over the cervix. Both of which can cause hemorrhaging and the need of blood transfusion during labor and delivery, and the embedded placenta will need surgery to remove. I am okay with the thought of having a csection, but the thought of hemorrhaging or even dying because my of placenta, is terrifying.

If you read this whole thing, THANK YOU. Needed to vent. I will update next Monday with the ultrasound results. Please keep me in your prayers as this is by far the most worrisome and frightening thing to have to worry about. :'(

I had my son this June 3 at 37wks via planned csection. I had marginal placenta previa that gradually turned into complete placenta previa (placenta grows over the cervix blocking baby's exit). I had planned on a natural birth but at 33wks found out I was going to have to have a csection and had to transfer OBGYNs/hospitals. Natural labor would have killed him and possibly me. I was worried about dying during my csection too or bleeding out after. What helped me was reading up on csections and watching youtube videos about what to bring to the hospital, post op details, csection details, basically everything on them (I would avoid the downsides though, it'll only add anxiety). I had a huge list of questions to ask my doctor too.

I did end up having some issues during/after my csection but three things really helped me get through it: 1) Having a supportive partner, 2) having an amazing doctor, nurses, and hospital, and 3) accepting my circumstances. A midwife put it in perspective for me. She told me if I was living a hundred years ago me and my son would die. Suddenly the thought that I might die didn't seem so bad compared to that. I would more likely die in a car crash driving to the hospital than bleed out. We're living in the safest time to have a pregnancy with complications. It didn't completely alleviate my fears but it definitely took the edge off and when issues did crop up I just rolled with them because I knew I was in the best place I could be (a hospital or near one) to have these issues and panicking about them wouldn't help the doctors or nurses care for me or my son.

I am sorry you're going through this and wish you and your child the best. If you ever need to vent feel free to shoot me a message/comment. You could also check out the csectioncentral subreddit on Reddit.