I've been living with my partner, Zach, for about a year now. I struggle with fibromyalgia, anxiety, and depression; I can't work, and it's hard for me to do much else. Zach struggles with PTSD, and PTSD related anxiety and depression.

In the early stages of our relationship Zach was always determined to take care of me. I was worried about my place in the world because of disability, especially after being kicked out by my family. Zach wanted to have a job so I didn't have to beg online for money and always worry about what would happen if it stopped coming. He wanted to cook and clean and take care of things around the house so I wouldn't be in pain.

But this year has made something very clear: he can't. He can't do any of that.

His depression is crippling. He's constantly self critical, hating himself for not doing anything, making it harder for him to do anything. He spends most days playing videogames or laying in bed. He can't apply for jobs. He can't do dishes, or laundry, or clean. It took three months to get him to even schedule a therapy appointment.

I'll try to be like... "You have one thing to do today, don't even think about anything else you think of as work, if you get the energy, just do this one small thing". and it doesn't happen half the time.

I've bought a bike, and multiple times a week I bike miles to buy stuff we need and strap boxes to the rack on the back. I do the laundry, I carry it back and forth from our third floor apartment. I clean, I do the dishes, I make food, I fix things, I take care of the cat, I'm even trying to start a webcomic so I can possibly, possibly get patreon money.

I'm constantly stressed, and very often in pain and exhausted and dead and upset. If I say anything to Zach, he just has a breakdown. He knows this sucks. He feels awful about it. And that fact just makes it all worse. It makes it much less likely that he'll ever be able to do anything.

We're running out of money. I'm budgeting very tightly. But there's no income. Zach will have therapy soon, which we'll have to pay for, and might help him be able to get a job, but also. There's a very real chance he won't even be able to get up and go to it.

I don't know what to do.

I know it's easy to feel helpless in these situations, where the hardest part is just doing what needs to be done, and then wondering what to do about it, but then the answer is already there -- it needs to be done. Things just need to be done. Difficult, uncomfortable, anxiety-inducing things.

If the guy can't get up... Uh, goodness, call an ambulance? Call a big person to lift him up? If depression is that severe then he desperately needs medication, large intervention or some cataclysmic change with no enabling.

People throughout history have been capable of doing great things in hard times. People have been able to push through, find strength and go through different coping mechanisms throughout their lives until they stick with what works for them and ultimately still function all the while finding out what that is. I'd say try to find inspiration, just to uplift your spirits, and try to find people with similar stories and what made them change.

I'm sorry if what I say isn't helpful. I don't know that anyone can say anything for these types of situations where a person is just mentally paralyzed and unable to cope.

I am currently receiving government benefits, as well as my husband. I would suggest getting ahold of an application for SSI or SSDI. It would give you an income. Not much of one, but it will help. You wouldn't have to go to work to earn your money. It would come in every month.

Also, I don't know if you have any day treatment programs for mental health issues, but that has helped us a lot. We have a place to go where we belong, and if we cannot do anything but simply show up, that is enough for that day. We have a lot of things we can do when we feel like it. I would highly recommend it. If you have a reason to get out of bed, you will be more motivated to do so. I don't know if this would be helpful for you, but it is something to try, at least.

Don't be afraid to seek help If the situation becomes too overwhelming, It isn't bad to ask for help if you truly need it. In fact, it is a sign of strength to be able to do so.

Please keep pressing on, no matter what the situation looks like. It will get better with time and therapy. It sounds like therapy is going to happen, so just know that things will improve. It may take a lot of time, but it will happen. Don't give up.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through something so trying. When it comes to sickness of the mind, life isn't very sympathetic. I am kind of in the same boat as far as the crippling depression goes. My SO has a form of PTSD from being in Iraq. I also suffer from Borderline myself. Some days are definitely harder than others, and the best advice I can give is don't give up. Keep swimming. Even if he doesn't, you keep pushing forward.

As far as your partner goes...unless he is willing to do the footwork that needs to be done, I don't know. Without therapy and medication, he's not going to get better. It sounds like someone is gonna have to make him go. I get like that some times, especially if the therapy and the treatments start to work. I get to where I think I am fine, and stop going, eventually it gets so bad that suddenly you look up and its been two years since your last appointment.

There isn't an easy road when it comes to this stuff... My late mother had Fibro, some of the stuff we would do for her pain was mostly heat related stuff. Things like, soaking in the bath with water as warm as you can stand it, rice bags heated in the microwave, heating pads, Bio Freeze cream from the store also helped her a lot. Often times, laying out in the sun helped too. That's if your wanting alternatives to the medicine's that the doctors probably already have you on.

I honestly hope that you manage to stay warm, fed and safe. My heart goes out to you. It really does.