Before I start, excuse some of my vulgar. Now, a bit about me. I grew up the good child, I never snuck out, didn't go to parties and drink, do illegal things, lie to my mom. I've always known not to do those things, but on the other hand my sister was all about doing those things. I watched my sister tear apart out family by doing this. I'm sorry this is so long.

So recently my boyfriend(Gaige) became friends with a bunch of people from his work, and then their friends. His main friend's name is Pat, and he was the host of this party. Well he invited us to his New years party last night. So I figured Gaige was probably going to drink, and it wasn't a safe idea to drive back home since there will be cops everywhere. I can't drive, I only have my permit(I'm 19) so Gaige would have to be 21 for me to drive. He's 20. So I figured we would stay the night, and I packed some stuff for sleeping over. I was kinda afraid because I didn't know who was going to be there. I'm a really shy person, the type that probably sits in the corner. So we didn't get there till after the ball dropped, and everybody is pretty hammered. So the usual people were there (Karl, the stoner. Jimmy, the player apparently, Nelson, the Poker kid) and then there were other people there. Pat's gf, Amanda and I've been becoming friends lately and texting a lot. She was pretty drunk. So I get passed around and introduced to everyone and everybody is having a good time. Well I wasn't following Gaige around like a puppy dog, I just stood and talked with Amanda and other girls. Well I guess a bunch of guys were giving Gaige shots and.. needless to say he was getting really tipsy really fast. I kept telling him he needs to slow down, he's too drunk. I was pretty sober, so like everyone was partying I'm kinda getting worried. Well these two girls who were there that nobody knew, and I guess they were rather.. Attention whoring. Completely wasted. I guess they wanted to go into Pat's hot tub, and they got naked.. and jumped in it. So, like.. Jimmy and Nelson I guess wanted to one night stand these fugly ass chicks so they both get in hot tub too. Well someone told Amanda, and she FLIPPEEEDDDDD SHITTTT. Like she was inside screaming that they need to fucking leave, get them the fuck out yadda yada and she storms off and Pat has to go after her. So it got quiet real fast, and then this one boy decided to do more shots with Gaige and then they were gunna go to the kids car to get some more liquor. So I'm just sitting on the carpet, kinda talking to other sober chick and were both complaining about our boyfriends. So some time goes by, and Gaige still isn't back. Someone said Karl was in his truck getting high, and thats were this chicks boyfriend was. So we both go up there and. Gaige is in the truck getting high too. I just opened the door on him, and slammed it shut and went back inside. So me and this chick, and Amanda sat upstairs. Oh shit I forgot, Gaige also "accidently" fell into the hot tub with the two boys and naked girls. Yeah.. so then it turns out the two girls and boys are going to have sex. one pair did it in the hot tub, the other in the bedroom in the basement. So I forget what happened next, but Pat and Gaige were in the bathroom and I went in there and Gaige is COVERED in blood. His entire face and chest and theres blood all over the walls, the toilet just.. everywhere.. I start freaking out, and I'm in there trying to wipe all the blood off him and clean the bathroom up. He was also soaking wet, so Pat came in and handed me clothes and I had to change him while he's flailing around. So then I wanted him to go to bed, and Pat had to carry him upstairs. That was around 3am. So pretty much I just sat in the kitchen with 2 other girls, till 4 am. Then they both went to bed and I went upstairs to where gaige was sleeping. I had water all set up, I kept turning him towards the trash can, I made him sleep on his side. I didn't fall asleep till almost 5am.. Then all the sudden he wakes up around 6am and he has to pee. Hes crawling on the floor, and I tell him to go downstairs. He goes into the closet and I start yelling at him to get out.. Well then he starts to pee right in front of the door onto the carpet. I honestly just laid there and said screw it. So let's just fast forward to after we let his house and went back home. Gaige doesn't remember anything. Everyone was telling him what happened, laughing about. They think it's funny, Gaige thinks it funny. I was fuming pissed. When we got home he didn't understand anything, and I had to sit there and explain to him everything that he put me through. The shittiest night I've ever had, I hated it so much. I told him I lost so much respect for him, that I don't love him like I used to. That he's turning into my sister, and that he's a piece of shit for taking advantage of the fact that I said we could stay over. If we didn't stay, none of that would of happened. Actually no, it would have.. He just kept saying sorry I won't do it again thats the last time sorry. I didn't accept his apology at all. I told him if he does it again, we are done.

He promises he won't do it again, but knowing how all his friends are they are obviously going to pressure him into it again, go behind my back to make sure he get's to party and what not. I just.. I don't tolerate that type of behavior at all. I should have expected it to end up like that. I just feel liked such an idiot.. I can't even look at him. It's going to happened again, when he turns 21. He'll be old enough to drink when he wants. I just want to start crying uncontrollably. I don't want to be that type of girl that completely exempts her partner from having fun at a party, but.. He did not need to get wasted and smoking.. I just.. i dunno anymore..

It seems he likes to party hard with his friends. You either have to accept it or move on. Although I wouldn't equate his partyboy behavior to what your sister has done to you and your family.

No, that was the first time he ever drank that much. I'd rather not accept it or "move on". If I did that I'm sure he would only get worse, and begin to destroy himself because of that lifestyle. I'd rather not watch someone I care about kill themselves internally. If you saw someone beginning to hurt themselves, would you just "Accept it", or blindly move on?

@/Scream It's not all peer pressure. Some part of him has an interest in doing those things. While I don't personally drink over my own limits or do any kind if drug, I also don't think these things are necessarily bad. What really matters here is why your boyfriend is participating in potentially dangerous acts. It seems like he's doing it for the fun. All I'm saying is that you should be prepared to deal with it. It's not like he's an alcoholic, or a drug addict, but if he's going to be exposed to alcohol and drugs by his group of friends be prepared to be there for him if he messes up or goes too far like he did on New Years.

Edit: Ah, I might have pinged you twice. Edit 2: To clarify, I don't think it's ok that he put himself in a really bad situation. If he's a smart guy, he won't do that to himself again.