Ok I'm one of those people that others just LOVE to talk to. It's kind of a gift and a curse because...I like listening to/helping people...but it can also be very draining (emotionally..sometimes physically from all the reading lol)

I'm in a few Facebook groups and some ppl from there pop up in Messenger and want to chat a bit...but here's the thing. They want to chat for hours at a time. A lot of them have no jobs/school and have nothing else to do but chat 24/7 I have stuff to do...ya know? The chats always start innocently enough (elaborating on stuff we discussed in comments)...then they get too personal and I tend to back away...but some of these people just won't let me go..even if I block them they message me from a different account!

I decided I needed a break and just deactivated my account....and a few hours later there was a knock at my door. It was the cops! One of these chatters Googled my address and called the cops to do a welfare check...

Another one seemed innocent enough...but I got a strange phone call..it was another chatter he called my house because he wanted to hear my voice! WTF?

I don't put a lot of info about myself on there at all....BUT I have a very unique name; so it is apparently very easy to look me up and find my personal info...and FB kinda makes you use your real name.

I currently have the profile deativated, but I really enjoy the groups I'm in and talking via comments..not this private stuff. What do I do? Keep the thing deactivated or chance it and go back...yeah I know I can avoid new messages..but I feel like the damage is already done and too many of these people know my name and how to find me? I'm almost afraid one of them is going to just show up at my house one day. Sucks because I've had the profile for 10 years.

In hindsight I regret ever responding to messages in the first place. You know if FB just had a "Disable messages" option I would not be in this predicament. I also have a knack for attracting the obsessive type I guess? lol

Okay, holy christ, I would be leaving groups like that immediately. You're basically being harassed and borderline stalked online - not only are they calling you, but how the fuck did someone just Google your address?! That is actually legitimately terrifying.

I'd be steering clear of FB for a while until shit dies down, and if you really wanted to, you could create a new one under a fake name - you definitely don't have to use your real one. Also I believe FB has a privacy option so that only friends can message you. Speaking of privacy options, I would be absolutely locking everything down and making sure no one can get additional information off of you.

Is chatting in these groups worth all this? I get wanting to help/talk to people, but I'd be reporting whoever is privately contacting you to the admins of said group and getting them removed because that shit is dangerous, and if they're doing it to you, they're probably doing it to someone else.

holy yikes batman

first off get your phone number changed, like. immediately. if you're gonna have it on your facebook or whatever else, you need to set it to friends only or even use the custom setting so that only certain people you trust have your number and not random people that friend you.

secondly.. it's just a facebook account. make another one under a different name if you can and hike those privacy settings up to maximum. idk what it is with folks that just leave all their stuff set to public, or set it to friends-only and then friend everyone in a three-state radius but it's super dangerous

also make sure you have a deadbolt on your door in case one of those weirdoes does show up. and if one does? call the cops. immediately. see if you can't do some reporting on facebook too if they send you any skeevy messages about it.

Everything on my account is private..not public or even friends. I do not have my number or address listed on there...just for reasons like this...but like I said.. I have a very weirdly unique name and when someone Googles me....my number and address pop up if you dig just a little bit! Lived here for 20 years..so it's not like multiple addresses pop up for me. I've looked myself up on Google it's terrifying all the info someone can get! Not sure if it's like this in other countries..but in the US everything is listed for some reason.

A lot are just design groups where we share our decor/interests and art.. so it's usually innocent.I asked around and no one else really gets chat requests from other member...so it's something about the way I talk or look. Also if I ever do social media again? NO PICTURES OF ME are going up.

I've had the FB account for 13 years, that's the only reason I was hesitant on letting go. Also, I've triple checked....ANYONE on FB can message you...they don't have to be your friend. That's awful and maybe I'll go back if they change that..but it's not worth this level of 24/7 dread that I have atm.

Thanks both of you. Some people were telling me I was overreacting!! Like WTF lol

i could have sworn facebook USED to have settings to where if someone wasn't your friend, the message would get filtered-- but it looks like any settings in regards to messenger are completely gone, wtf. honestly facebook is a terrible platform anyway since it gives you NO ability to hide your identity whatsoever

Even Twitter has the option to turn off DMs from strangers I think.

I love how FB requires your real name to "keep everyone safe" While it's actually doing the complete opposite. We're gonna require your real info...but we're also gonna make sure any weirdo has the ability to readily contact and stalk you.

And when someone catches on that you're using a fake name/reports your profile? FB wants you to prove your real name by sending them photos of ID/a piece of mail. It's ludicrous. I mean what if someone is trying to hide from an abusive stalker ex or something? What a nightmare.

I swear there was a setting you can go into to make it so only friends can message you, maybe they changed it (which if they did, that is fucking stupid). Also I've had a fake name on FB for years (my last name anyways), and have never had any problems with it. One of my best friends literally had her name changed to 'Parking Brake' for like... two years because she lost a bet hahaha!

Either way, I would be going through and double checking all my privacy settings and deleting or changing things that you don't want people to see for sure.

This literally happened to me on a group I was in. I chatted with this guy and shared memes and he ended up trying to friend me on his account and kept blowing up my messenger. I have a fiancee (now bf at the time) and it was getting borderline creepy that I ended up blocking him. I'm free to chat as friends but to expect me to talk to you ALL the time when I don't know you? Heads on to borderline creepy and I can't deal with that. Luckily haven't heard any more from him.

I'm sorry it has happened to you as well. This first guy that called in the welfare check was nonstop and I swear he didn't sleep lol. I half jokingly said "Wow I'm gonna have to quit my life to chat with you-you never stop" His response? "Well you should...real life sucks anyways lol" It's like he can't comprehend that I have a life beyond my phone/PC. Delusional.

And now that the cops came here to do the welfare check..he knows that this is my actual address..as the police had to contact him and tell him that I was ok T_T I know it's only a matter of time before he mails me something....or worse.

Did this guy know you have a bf and chatted with you anyways? Just curious-as I can't help but notice that I'm single, female... and the creepy obsessive chatters all tend to be straight males.

It was posted on my profile so he had to see it. Think he was like my parents age too or near it so even more creepy. I tried to ignore his messages and thats when the flooding of messages begun. Luckily he doesn't know my current address or anything like that, sorry that happened to you. Luckily he doesn't try anything