so... basically I have to learn how to drive in less than a year, which I guess is plenty of time for other people but I'm just afraid I won't be able to do it. I'm 23 and have had to rely on other people to drive me places, but in about a year (or less, who knows with this person ?) I'll have to either suck it up somehow OR lose my job because there's no public transport where I live. the thing is, I had my permit and was practicing driving when I lived with my parents, but my left leg would uncontrollably clench and become painful, and I would panic every time I went on a street with moving cars... Two times I could have almost died because I had deer-in-the-headlights type of panic happen when pulling out into traffic. I haven't practiced driving since 2017 and I get anxiety just even being in a car as a passenger sometimes. I'm on medication for depression & anxiety but I just have no idea if I can learn how to drive without panicking. but my other option of being unable to drive, jobless, and homeless isn't very calming either!

I just wanted to know if any of yall used to have car anxiety & can drive now? I'd like some advice from people who know where I'm coming from, because everyone I try explaining this to (besides my bf) makes fun of me or acts like driving is sooooo easy there's nothing to be anxious about... like sorry im afraid of dying and/or killing someone with a giant hunk of metal!

A long time ago, when I was first learning to drive, I was super anxious. After getting back from practicing, my hands would literally be clammy and sweating. I'm not like that anymore, and have been driving for years!

Choosing a safe place to practice is a good first step. Try an abandoned, wide open parking lot. You can practice steering and stopping. This can also give you practice fitting your car into parking spaces, if the painted lines haven't faded.

Become familiar with your car. Knowing the pedals, the shift, the directional signals, etc will make you feel less alien about the whole thing. Remember, the car is just a big ol' machine that you are controlling. It can't do anything on its own, so become used to all its major functions.

Automatic cars are way easier than manuals. I can drive both, but choose an automatic. With automatics, the clutch isn't even there to worry about. Something to consider if you are on a manual and cannot come to terms with working the clutch.

Honestly, the only way you're going to be able to overcome this is to drive. Practice, practice and practice some more because the only way you're going to get better is by continually doing it and gaining more confidence on the road and being around other vehicles.

Take it slow, practice in quieter, less busy areas at first until you get more comfortable. You don't have to throw yourself onto the highway right away or anything. It can be overwhelming, but as you do it more you'll figure out the rhythm of the road.

Also it can take some time to become truly comfortable with a vehicle, but as you continue to drive you'll learn what makes it tick, how it handles in certain situations and eventually it'll kind of become an extension of you. The car does what you tell it to (minus in certain extreme conditions where it's super icy/snowy sometimes haha! Not sure if you get that where you live) - and it's up to you to drive defensively.

I was fucking terrified of driving and didn't get the proverbial balls to get my license until I was 19. I have an anxiety disorder and panic attacks and I really had to knuckle down and make myself go. My friends and even my parents were kind of mean about it too. Have you been to a doctor to see if you might have an anxiety problem? Maybe if you get on some kind of medication or have counseling before you have to take your driving test, it would be easier. I ended up having to get a private tutor for driving because the man who was supposed to be my instructor was such a judgemental asshole I parked the car and left when he made me cry. Luckily, my mom went all batshit protective tiger mom on the company for employing someone like him, so they paid for the private tutor. Anyways, I'm now quite a bit older and have been driving for years and I love it now. I don't remember it taking that long for me to love it, once I went out a while on my learner's permit with my mom, down country roads. I remember the feeling of my first time out driving on my own, just a couple miles to pick up something from the store for my parents. It was awesome. I was like, 'oh my god, I finally did it. I really can do this.' It was a moment for sure. Just know that you have it in you to do this. You can do it, you'll just have to tell yourself you can and keep saying it until you believe it.

thanks for answering! yeah i definitely think it would help if i had been given more teaching about the car itself before straight up driving. i've driven a handful of different cars and i'm most comfortable in large cars like pickups or SUVs, especially with the gearshift on the wheel.

thank you for answering! I am on anxiety medication & go to therapy but i'm still prone to panic attacks, which i've talked to my psych about and he won't listen no matter how long it's been ? i'm seeing a new psych that will hopefully listen to me. I definitely need to get better at positive thinking, it would help me in more ways than just driving.

I'm having to learn all things i need to do to prepare for getting a license in this state, it's so much different than my home state. but once i deal with all of this i will hopefully begin practicing again! :)

It can be tough switching between significantly different cars (like SUVs vs compacts) so chose whichever you're more comfortable with and stick with it. Where I lived they tested you in the car you brought so you only need to know how to drive one car.

If you can, start in an isolated parking lot. My first time driving was in the massive and mostly empty lot in a state park so it didn't matter that I hit the way to hard reversing because there was no one behind me. Take as long as you need to get a feel for the car before moving onto quiet back streets.

This may seem really weird but but when you're ready to take it up a notch try a major highway/freeway/whatever you call a relatively straight multi-lane road without stoplights at low traffic times. It's scary going fast at first but it's actually way more chill than busy local roads because you don't have to worry about turns, everyone's going in the same direction, and you've got a lot more time to prepare mentally for merging. It seems crazy but it can actually be a big confidence builder to practice on these roads at quieter times.

yeah I would definitely like to get a used truck or something but I don't think it's practical for me right now, so I just gotta get used to something smaller (and cheaper).

that sounds like a good idea, I never thought of driving on the freeway to practice because it just scares the crap out of me when I'm a passenger ? but I gotta do it if I want to go to work

That's good that you're seeing a new psych. The old one doesn't sound like they were too helpful. Studying will help you a lot too, not just to learn what you need to learn, but so that you will feel armed, so to speak, and ready. Read books, watch YouTube videos, talk to your driver friends. Do as much as you can first, without actually getting on the road.

Also, sometimes I would just sit in the driver's seat for a while at a time, looking over everything and kind of going through in my mind what I would be doing if I were driving. I'll be honest, at first just getting in the driver's side door would give me a panic attack. But I kept at it and talked myself through it and didn't go for my test until I felt comfortable. That's important - YOU know when you're comfortable, not anyone else. Don't go until you're ready.

Funny thing is that I only started to learn how to drive at about the same age. I tried when I was 16, but just ended up getting criticized for driving far too slow (it seemed really fat to me at the time) on a residential street and had to pull over to cry from stress. The good news is that, at the age you are now, your brain is much better at making quick decisions than a teenager and you're a lot less likely to make a terrible mistake.

Some thoughts are that you might want someone other than your parents to be in the car with you. Trying to live up to their standards is very stressful. Do you have any friends closer to your age who would give you advice but not make you feel inadequate?

Also, you're going to want to practice in parking lots a lot. Parking nicely is still one of the hardest things for me. It's hard to maneuver a big old car into a parking spot. You should start getting used to it early on. Not only is this going to really drill in the fine control and awareness of how much space the car takes up, but because you'll be going so slow, if you make a mistake, it won't be dangerous.

Try not to drive when you're sick or tired, even after you get your license. There's always Uber/Lyft, the cost of which can be less than owning a car depending on what you're using the vehicle for.

I hope my brain is better at making quick decisions but I kind of doubt that due to a lot of personal things happening ? When I was 19-21 learning how to drive, I had several "deer-in-the-headlights" moments and drove in front of oncoming traffic. The person that is putting me in this predicament said they could help me learn how to drive, but it's just an issue of when. We work the same shift at the same place but they always go to friends who live out of state on the weekends so really the only time I could practice with them would be after work but that's 10 hour shifts and I'm always exhausted. I dunno, I'm sure I'll figure it out or else I'll end up homeless lol so maybe the panic will actually help me in the end.