The night is too quiet and because of the closure of the sb right now my lizard brain is scurrying and clawing as if looking for things to make me feel upset or anxious. This isn't helped by a lot of issues I've been experiencing in real life as of late either. I could really use some people to talk to about things but parts of me are scared to open up about these things because not only do I feel like it's not right to force people to listen to these problems but I worry about the aftermath of it.

I have been locking my emotions away lately because I have no way of calming down after the ensuing storms. There is nothing worse to anxiety to finally breaking down and then being lost in a sea of emotion, pain and bad memories or inconsequential worries that you know that while normally they aren't big picture that you can't seem to let go of. I really can't seem to figure out what to do about it. I feel it, I feel the flood of emotions rising above my ankles and I feel like no matter how many flotation devices and assurances I have that everything will be okay that I will be swallowed and left to drown. But how do I let go and just shift my perception so I can just breathe and finally be free?

There's so many things I want to express but I feel like my voice can't reach anyone.

I've been feeling sort of the same way with the SB closure too. Its quiet and boring, and I'd really just like to talk. Interesting how much just having it open sometimes calms you down, even when you're lurking.

It's difficult for me to give you my two cents on what might help if I have no details. Is it because of something that happened? Just random anxiety/depression? Honestly, if I had ever found any way of dealing with the later, I would be a much more successful person than I am.

Sorry to hear that. I know that feeling intimately and it is quite frankly, awful. I would recommend, if you can, talking to a therapist. They can help you expand your toolbox of coping skills to find what works for you. Recommendations from my personal experience is to remember that your thoughts are just that. Thoughts. You aren't locked into them. Think of them as cars. You can choose if you want to get into the car or not. Don't give them power. Also, starting a gratitude journal. Write down one thing you're thankful for each day. That can help slowly start to change your mindset. When the anxiety spikes, go back and read it.

It's a mix of random anxiety and depression, likely caused by the fact that I havent been able to keep up with my medications. But it's also because lately I've been reflecting a lot on my life and I just feel so lost. I could smail you some details if you like but the last person I opened up to seemed to get scared off. ;n;

My friend Derek keeps trying to help me with bouts when they get really bad. It helps some especially since he's started to learn where my boundries are even when I don't exactly express them correctly. He's taking me to a counselor today and because of my fixed income has even offered to pay so i'm doing a fair bit better today

Glad to hear it! One important thing to remember about a counselor is that it is your care. If you don't click with them or don't like their treatment style, don't feel ashamed about asking to see someone else. Find one who works for you.

I faced my anxiety some today and contacted my grandma, we went and had breakfast and talked a lot. She suggested that since I can't drive that she would look into Uber drivers in my area and help pay for my fares to get to appointments and so I can get out of the house to do things like at the library and things

and I was really surprised that she came over to my place to talk a lot ;w; I feel very loved today and it helped a lot with my anxiety. I'm ready to face the counselor and I think I finally have some the courage I need to face one of the other doctors who hasnt been treating me well.

That is fantastic to hear! It sounds like you are starting to build a really good support system, which can make the anxiety and other negative emotions much easier to bear. You are not alone and you are worthy of being happy.

I had an anxiety attack when I first texted her but after talking to her at length and everything it made me feel like a lot of my problems weren't so big, especially since she seemed willing to help with them.

and I talked about some of the things that make me happy too and stuff like that. It's been a good morning

That is all awesome! You've started down the road. Glad to hear it.

Thank you c=

i might revisit this thing if I ever feel super anxious again though because sometimes just writing it out helps"

i've probably fed oatmeal a few concerning notes haha

No worries! Your online friends are here for you.

If you still want to send me a PM, feel free to do so. I do have class and plenty of work to do, so don't be offended if I don't reply right away. You didn't scare me off, I swear. :)