Have you ever felt like you're doing something that pushes people you care aside? Or that you're doing something that makes them sad?

Recently i've noticed that i'm not really into religion or anything similar, and that i don't enjoy going to church or so. My mom is a very religious person, and she always took me to church and all the activities that it includes (church camps, activities during the week, etc). So i started to notice that none of that makes me happy, and that it gets in the way of many activities i need to do. Since my girlfriend had to move to another city, i mostly talk to her through my phone, so these camps, for instance, never have phone signal, and i have to go over a week without talking to her.

I recently started to take the courage to slowly tell my mom that i'm not really in the mood, or not into joining many of these activities, but she keeps pushing and pressing me, and saying that i'm making god sad, and that i'll have to face him later. It makes me feel really tired, sad and drained, because she's a good person, and i like spending time with her. Tough, most part of this time she wants to spend together is "family time in church activities", and it really pushes me aside..

I feel like pushing aside a really important person in my life, and making her sad. I know that's not very wise, but we're really different persons, and i just wouldn't be happy if i forced myself to go to her to all these church activities..

I really don't know what to do ;w;

Take care of yourself first. Tell your mom that it's not making you happy, that you don't want to go a week without talking to your girlfriend when you go to the camp with no signal. Tell her that there are other things you need to be doing with your life and all of the church activities are getting in the way of that.

If she tries to tell you that you're making God sad or will have to face Him for it later, honestly just tell her that going to church and partaking in church activities is not what makes you a good person in that religion. There are many good religious folk that don't attend churches at all and choose to keep their worship to their homes and they are no less a part of that religion than she is. Tell her that it's not very nice of her to push aside your wants and your happiness for what she wants instead, and it's exceptionally looked down upon to try to use God Himself as a way to guilt-trip you into doing those things.

I'm not religious myself, but I grew up with a very Christian father who put me in a very similar situation. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person, but she needs to understand that her view on the religion and yours are not the same and you will not practice the same because you are different individuals and honestly it will look better in the eyes of God if she can accept that.

Please, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Don't feel guilty if her actions, if her refusal to accept and understand, makes her turn around and try to make you feel bad for what you want. You care about her, but you also need to accept that if she continues down this path it isn't going to be good for you (especially your mental health, it sounds like) and you need to take care of yourself. It's hard, but you will be happier in the long run and if your mom really cares about you too then she'll eventually accept that.

Thanks, this actually made me feel better I'll try and talk to her about what i think, i hope she understands

Some people find attending events and such as very fulfilling, but as someone who suffers with social anxiety, I find them to be stressful and exhausting. (They often make me feel physically ill.) It doesn't mean I don't love my church family. It's just that I don't like being around them all at once. Even attending services is too much right now.

I still try to find ways to serve my church and quietly express my faith. I clean, help set up for service, and try to help my mother - who is more involved - prepare. I pray and I read books about my faith.

But there was a time when my parents (especially my dad) really tried to push me to participate, to celebrate my faith their way, and all it did was push me away until I no longer wanted to have any part of it at all. But after they backed off, I found my own path which - in my case - eventually led me to where they wanted me to be all along.

That's the thing about faith. It's about finding love and strength in that love. Love takes understanding and respect, a desire and a willingness to learn and trust. It's not something that a person can just have on command.