Emma is my beautiful grey and white baby who is about 6 years old. She's a pretty girl and she knows it. She's adorable and sweet and she loves her mama and her other humans (my parents). We lost her sister, Holly, about 6 months ago, and Emma has been an only child since then.

So last month, I decided it was time to adopt another cat. I was originally going to adopt an adult cat, but the lady at the shelter said it would be easier on Emma if I adopted a kitten. So I found Ben (who was called Boo Boo at the time) who was this scrawny little runt, all black with a white splotch on his chest. I fell hard for him and the next day he came home with me. For the first few weeks, Ben spent all his time in our spare bedroom with his box, toys, bed, and everything else he needed. We all spent time going in and out of that room, playing with Ben and getting to know him, while letting Emma get his scent underneath the door and we'd bring his blankets and things out for Emma to sniff.

After a few weeks, we decided to start taking him out to run the house for several hours a day. Emma hissed and spat and growled at him. He just wanted to play with her. He doesn't have a mean bone in his tiny little body, but he jumps on her, wanting to play. We figured Emma would be fine with him in time and the aggro would stop, but it hasn't. It's lessened slightly, very very slightly. But it's been since around Halloween and Emma still hates him.

We're trying Feliway right now. We've only had the unit plugged in for about three days and I'm thinking about getting the spray too. It says it takes about a week to take effect. I want it to work so badly. I don't know of anything else that we can do if this doesn't work. I'm hoping time will help as well, that Ben will calm down as he gets a little older. He's been fixed. I'm just worried for Emma right now, because I don't like seeing her upset and stressed out. I still give her as much love as I always have and she still sleeps with me every night (Ben stays in his room at night to give Emma a break).

It's just...they're my babies and I love them both and I want them to love each other too, or at the very least, I want them to get along without any hissing or growling. Any advice for getting housemate kitties to get along?

[edit] I just ordered Jackson Galaxy's oil stuff called 'Peacemaker' that you can spray around and add to their food so I'll post back when I get it and try it.

Also going to try and bathe Ben Ben tonight. I hope I don't die. Also I hope it works.

Most likely, the older one will merely grow to tolerate the little one.

I had a similar thing happen with my 2 cats. I had my older one, Zed, for about 7 years when we got Ebeneezer as a kitten. Zed didn't like him at all and when we got comfortable enough to let them be around each other after a few weeks, Zed would display dominant behaviors like scruffing and mounting poor Ebeneezer, and would lick him a lot, I assume to put his scent on him, idk. And Zed would watch the little guy like a hawk.

They still squabble every now and then (and now Ebeneezer is quite a bit bigger than Zed) but they can live together. Sometimes they'll even play with each other and sleep next to each other., but I don't think Zed "likes" Ebeneezer, and he's easily jealous and Ebeneezer has grown up being afraid of receiving affection and is weary of eating and playing when Zed's around.

But for them to get to where they are now, we would feed them next to each other, play with Ebeneezer and try to get Zed to join in, display affection as evenly as possible to avoid jealousy (which still happens on Zed's part), and did what it sounds like you've been doing (although never used Feliway), and ultimately they turned out okay. Most likely your kitties will be okay too, but they're probably not gonna be friends.

Oh dear, I had this problem with my cats Atra & Nefas. We got Nefas as a barely weaned kitten about 6 months after our 18 year old tom cat Rueben died. We tried to give it time, but nope Atra to this very day still loathes poor Nef. So Nef was a sad girl. We got our third and newest kitty Gek a few months ago. His eyes were still blue he was so young. Atra wasn't having ANY of him at all either. She hid up in the loft most of the time and would skulk around the house to stay away from him and Nef both. Then when we bought him home after having him fixed she was suddenly fine with him. Heck now they even cuddle and play since he's been snipped. I think it was because when we got her as a kitten she was only ever around Rueben. And he was fixed when we got her. So Gek must have really stank to her.

They all still squabble though. It's just how cats are. We got Gek so that Nef would have a play mate. Atra is 12 and tolerates Gek now, but she still loathes Nef lol. Nef is 3 and Gek is 7 months. They are like two year olds, they wrestle and steal each others toys and chase each other around complaining. Best of all they mostly leave poor Atra alone to sleep on which ever human she feels like. Having a 3rd cat seemed excessive but I'm so happy that we got him. Maybe you should consider a third too?

Anyhow I've found that anytime we add a new kitty washing them every 2 weeks and my husband and myself every time we shower all in the same strongly scented pet safe soap helps tons. It's hard to be angry or stressed out when everyone and everything smells the same. Also having extra litter boxes and more than one pet fountain and feeding areas set up really works wonders. That way they can all eat, drink, and toilet in peace and it separates them if you have a mean or greedy piggy cat. I hope it works out for your fur kins darlin.

I think it's going to just take longer for some cats to get along than others. Should be easier if they're fixed, i guess, since hormones can make cats (and dogs) more aggressive. there's 1 year difference between my cats, and the younger one was scared of the older one. at the time, the younger one was still a baby, and quite tiny next to the older one. The older one wanted to make friends with him immediately lol.

A few years back, a female kitten followed me home, and my boys (both fixed) started accepting her within a week or so. The at some point, we had to watch over the unfixed male cat of my mother-in-law. He HATED our boys. we had to keep them separate :( or i think they would have gotten into really bad fights. Thing is, that cat, despite him knowing me well, even attacked me (i still have a tiny scar, lol) because of our cats. not when we visit, but when he stayed with us. That cat's main problem was mostly with our younger cat who is more dominant. keeping him separated was not something we wanted for him, under our roof.

i hope the situation with your cats will improve/improved :) good luck! and yes, try fix them all, especially the younger ones.

I keep trying to convince my parents getting a third cat would be great, but I still live with them for financial reasons and they won't hear any of it. Washing them is an interesting idea though. I know cats are strongly reactive to scent. Maybe I could wash him and then rub him dry with one of Emma's blankets so he smells like her? I'm going to try that. It's worth a shot anyways.