specifically on Facebook

I'm trying to compose a coming out letter as my HRT date is approaching very quickly. I told myself that was when I was actually going to come out to people. But frankly I don't really know what to say or how to say it. D': I wrote a letter coming out to my mom this past January, but that was really personal and directed specifically to her. Like, there's details there that other people just don't need to know. But at the same time I just want to be like, 'oh btw, it's 'Kris' now and I'm starting HRT to become a man. See you next family reunion!' I want to write something sensitive and detailed in hopes that it will help some of my more conservative family members understand better.

idk, basically I'm wondering if anyone who has come out to their family in one big clump has any advice on this?

I don't have much advice as I haven't done it yet myself, but I wanted to say something anyway in solidarity and support, because I'm in a similar situation. I'm hoping to come out to my family in January via a letter... if I can work up the courage. And it's for a similar reason, because I want to start HRT next year too, as early as possible.

I think that a good way to take some of the burden off of yourself - and something I'm planning to do in my letter - is include some online resources that explain what being trans is and how to be supportive as a family member. That way, well, first I am hoping it will make it seem more legitimate since there's official websites and organizations about the topic, and second it gives them somewhere to look so that the burden isn't on you to teach them everything from scratch. It's also not super personal that way, since the websites are just general info and not about you specifically.

Another thing I was thinking about was not mentioning HRT until later. For my letter, I haven't decided yet, but I think I'm gonna mention the trans thing first and see how they react to that, maybe give them a little time to process that because I feel like mentioning HRT might make them panic completely. But your situation could be totally different, I guess it depends on how well you think your extended family would take the news. (I think my parents would take the HRT thing badly and panic and try to stop me from starting it.)

If you wanted to share a draft, I am pretty good at looking things over and making sure the writing comes across well? But of course only if you are comfortable (you can also sMail me if you'd like).

I wish you the best of luck with everything!

A cousin of a friend is dealing with this same thing right now. He just started using male pronouns, although he hasn't changed his name yet/don't know if he's going to, but I would think so as the name his parents gave him is rather feminine. To be honest, he doesn't even really know me, but I'm trying to be friends with him on Facebook right now, just to show support. Just know that however it goes for you with your family, there are people out there who care about you and will support you, some of whom you might not even know yet. hugs Best of luck to you!!

No sound advice here. But I just want to wish you the best of luck, here's hoping you are around good, open minded people who love you no matter what, and if they are members of your family, that you are able to open channels to a deeper relationship with them <3

hey, trans guy here too. coming out is hard. i don't know if you've gone through with it yet, or are still hesitating on that step with it, but i'd like to offer some words of encouragement. honestly, i get it. it's scary. it's really scary, and it's just hard to say because though it shouldn't be, it's a big change to a lot of people. i've only ever come out to select people, but i know someone in my hometown who came out on facebook.

his experience was just one long, deep open letter to everyone. it started out detailing the dysphoria he'd gone through, all the experiences that just made him know, and some metaphors that help cis people sort of imagine what being trans is like while being misgendered, and then he came out at the end and addressed what he'd like to be called by now. it seemed like a good way to go about it.

there was a flood of support. i think a big thing to be prepared for, too, is the non-support, though. when / if you post, my advice is to just delete any negative or non-supportive comments. let the positive ones be the focus. that'll help most in the long run, and set the tone for the future.

best of luck to you!

just thought that I'd post an update:

I've now come out to everyone in my life except my aunt (dad's sister). Amazingly absolutely everyone, including my conservative and religious aunt and uncle, has been incredibly accepting. People are already using my new name. I'm totally in shock but very very very happy !!

My dad is having kind of a hard time with it, but it's not like he's rejected me. He's just struggling with my 'choice' and hasn't really talked to me about it yet

but otherwise people are being awesome

I told a lot of people in person before posting on facebook but I basically wrote a big ole essay explaining a few things and making it clear that it was not a choice. Talked about how I understood that this would be difficult for a lot of people and I'd never be upset if they messed up (as long as it's not on purpose obv). and like suggested I also posted a few links to good sources.

anyway, life is going good, starting T next week, have applied for a new job, things are looking up!!

I'm glad things went well for you! Congratulations, dude!