I got this collector doll and my mom popped of at me "why would you want something like that". I told her about it before it arrived. I told her I ordered a silicone/vinyl doll and it is a collector item. When I opened the package she said "that's not a real porcelain" I said I told you it was a "silicone/vinyl". and that is when she popped off "why would you want something like that".

You see I already have issues feeling like people are judging me. cause I have mild c.p. and my speech messes up sometimes.

I was thinking about reviewing this item on my youtube channel but now im afraid I will get a lot of teasing cause it is designed to look like a baby doll..but it is for ages 14 and up.

I now kinda feel like I have to hide the doll so others do not see it...

My self esteem is low. I can get defensive at times.

I was thinking about getting the doll a pacifier and another outfit ( I just don't think the one she has on is very cute). now im like people would think im nuts or something buying a doll clothes.

It is not like I would be taking with me when I go places.. She was going to be something to occupy me. Like change her clothes do her hair. I would not be buying her car seats or diapers or anything like that. There actually is a lot of people who do own these dolls and do the things I was planning on doing..Then there are the ones who treat them as real babies and change them and buy strollers and diapers and take them shopping..

The people who do all this are part of a group they are the "reborn community". some of them use the dolls for therapy. Some can not have children so they play pretend with these dolls. some just love babies and love taking care of things. everyone's reasons may not be the same but what they do have in common is there love for there dolls.

mine is not a reborn mine is lifelike doll..It is cheaper than a reborn.mine is from paradise galleries.

Im just kind of down in the dumps now. I do not know anyone who has these dolls so I can not talk to someone who owns one. I have no friends. Ive always been by myself. I use youtube as a way to reach out to others. I was thinking about creating another channel dedicated to the dolls. Like showing them in different outfits and things. Using them as models is basically what I was planing. I just wasn't sure what to call the channel.. And now after this remark "why would you want something like that" im just kinda questioning myself..

Anytime you post on youtube someone is going to say something nasty. There are just people out there that are unhappy and feel they need to bring others down to lift themselves up. This is the risk you run whenever you post on youtube. If you feel like those nasty comments would really get to you, then I suggest waiting till you are more confident.

As far as your mom is concerned. You should really only have to say that it's just something you enjoy. If she can't understand that, oh well.

It sounds like the larger issue is not the dolls, but rather your self-esteem (as your topic suggests as well). I don't think I really became comfortable with myself until my 30's but honestly... when you let go of what others think and start living in a way that makes you happy, it lifts such a weight off of your shoulders. You also meet more people who enjoy the same things as you by being yourself. I met my husband once I decided I wasn't going to try and be what someone else wanted... I was just myself and that was exactly who my husband wanted me to be. You're never going to be able to make everyone happy so make you happy first.

im not even sure what makes me "happy"..

I kinda just live through the day.. It's like the same routine every day.

Even when I was in school..it was like a routine..

Ive tried a few hobbies.. making bracelets, trading card game(dumb idea since I had no one to play the game with),ect.. nothing really made me feel anything.

ended up just selling the trading card stuff.

I just started collecting the dolls. so far she is still sitting in her box..

I'll shoot you a mail. =)

That doll sounds like a work of art. Some people like your mom definitely will look at it and assess the trade value on their own scale (I'm sure porcelain was all the rage in her day) and completely miss the point that it makes you happy and holds sentimental value with you. She's naive in thinking she has any control over your tastes.

Anyway, I am an adult with beanie babies and stuffed animals and dgaf what anyone says about it. They make me happy, keep me inspired, and it's like being surrounded by lil pets who never let you down. Anyone who thinks its immature can have fun changing diapers and feel big bossing lil people around, and being too serious to be a decent person. You can borrow my words if you agree. I don't carry them in public except when I'm buying them but I notice other grown women carrying personal toys and comfort items around and try to make a point in letting them know it's super cool seeing people be confident about the stuff they never stopped loving. Rock on and don't let anyone take away that joy.