Well, hello! I moved away from my mom's house (now 12 hours away) just two days ago and I'm feeling awful. Absolutely homesick and lonely (to the point I don't even want to eat or leave my room). I've always wanted to move away to attend college and here I am, but now I'm on the verge of regret and this makes me feel even worse (because if not now, then when?? I got exactly what I wanted, so why am I all melancholic?). This morning I had a little accident with stained clothes and almost lost my shit, and I wanted a hug or something like I've never wanted before (I always thought I was pretty tough... but maybe I'm not?) because everything is TOO overwhelming. I feel like a whiny baby, I'm sorry for the rant /: I know that the first week is always the worst and that once college starts (next wednesday) I'll probably get distracted and forget about it for a while, but right now it feels unbearable. So... what did you guys do when you left your parent's home? Or what do you plan doing? And if you were as far as I am (or more), how to deal with the distance? Honestly, any encouragement words are welcome. Thanks for empathy!

Sorry to hear you’re having trouble adjusting, that sucks. You’re absolutely right though in that the first week is usually the hardest. The fact that you recognize that and are aware that the feeling is temporary is good. Take comfort in knowing you’re not the only person that feels homesick, too, and that many people have been in the same situation and have stuck it out and succeeded.

You moved away for a reason and this is what you want. DON’T let those “oh god I can’t do this what if what if what if” thoughts control you. Don’t get caught up in your own head! Use this time before classes to learn about your new building, campus, town/city, and people. If you’re shy like I was when I moved away for college, even getting outside of your dorm room (or apartment) into a community space so you’re not isolated is a good start. Go at your own pace and go easy but still challenge yourself a little. Do a lot of research too (the stain accident you mentioned? Look up tips, tricks, techniques, or just basic skills and how-to’s on laundry. Trust me, everyone is clueless about laundry the first time they do it by themselves). Feeling prepared, along with staying busy, will keep you from panicking or feeling sad. Also, once classes start and you get into a routine, it’ll be SO much easier to adjust!

Another way to help is keep a constant line of communication open with family and friends. I knew my mom was on call 24/7 when I moved and that was very comforting. Whether it was texting or calling, venting, asking how to do something, or even just telling her about my day, it was super helpful. Hopefully you have that as well :)

The one solid piece of advice I have though is DON’T GIVE UP. What will it accomplish if you move back home? This IS what you want and you will adjust. You’re stronger and more resilient than you think you are. Otherwise you wouldn’t have taken this leap! Best wishes and good luck!

First of all, thank you so much for helping me through this! Your words are really encouraging!

Yes, I'm sure that I'll find more people who felt the same way at college. It's comforting to think like this! I mean, I'm not the only one at least.

Yes! At the same time I'm scared and almost panicking, I'm absolutely glad I got exactly what I wanted. So if I can control my thoughts, I believe it will be alright. This week is hard because I don't know anyone and have been spending my days just thinking of how I miss home, but I firmly believe that once life resumes I'll let go of these thoughts.

I've been messaging my parents everyday now, and it helps me a lot! It must have been scary to people who went away from home during times in which the internet wasn't a thing... it's another reason I'm grateful, too.

The idea of giving up seems really attractive right now, and I find comfort that if (even with college, social life and a much-needed therapy) I don't ever feel like home, I can apply to another colleges closer to my mom's house or are least in the same state (there's one just 1:30 hours away, but in a smaller city. But hey, this idea is at least comforting!) in about 4 months. It will be quick, so I guess I must take my time and see how it goes. But I'm not giving up without trying. I believe I will adjust, and by the end of the day we can endure much more than what we believe we can (yes, it's that Frida Kahlo sentence), so let's see how it goes! Thank you again! It makes a huge difference to see that I'm not failing at adulting, just taking my first steps (also, about laundry, I found out that vinegar and baking soda can do a lot for stained clothes! Also blood must be cleaned with cold water, since hot makes it stain more. Who'd say huh)

<3 Thank you so so much

You’re very welcome! It’s hard, some days harder than others, but you’ll eventually start to get used to it. Take it each day at a time. You are right, though. If you truly feel like you bit off more than you can chew, it’s ok to go to a different school. Don’t consider it as “giving up” but as “a better fit” if that needs to happen. But you’re in a good mentality of not giving up without a fight, so I think everything will be ok :)

Oh man, I definitely understand the homesick feeling. A little over a year ago, I moved 10+ hours from my home to attend school in the south. This is the furthest I've ever been from home, but I promise it gets easier! One thing that really helps me is calling my mom daily (even at 25 years old, I turn to her for advice on everything and just to chat and vent!)

When I first moved down here, I didn't want to leave my house until I was forced to for class, lol. It really was an adjustment. I didn't go out much, I didn't have the motivation to cook anything or do much of anything other than distract myself with internet/TV. Once classes started, I made some great friends and that basically forced me to be more social and stop dwelling at home. I've noticed that when I'm home by myself, I get a little mopey and I really lose my motivation. I definitely recommend making good friends and hanging out with them when you can! Even if it's just a study hangout, it helps a lot to be around other people who probably feel the same as you!

Hobbies are another fantastic thing! When I had more time last year, I really enjoyed making candles and wax melts! And then of course I'd take pictures and send them to my mom. :)

I do notice that when I'm able to go home during breaks, I always feel homesick again when I have to leave. I don't think it will ever really go away, but it gets easier to handle once you're full swing into coursework. I've also found that I really like the little college town that I live in and I'm constantly finding new things to do and enjoy.

I hope that wasn't too ramble-y and was a little helpful/encouraging for you!

I'm absolutely grateful, really. Thanks again <3

Oh, boy. The feeling that you're so far is really crushing in the beginning. But I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who decided to fly far away from the... uh... nest. I find this metaphor pretty funny actually. Calling my mom or scheduling a Skype call sounds like a great way to have her closer, and it will help me with my situation a lot, so I'll go for it!

I'm looking forward so much to make some friends! Last year my mom had to go to work in a 4-hour-away city (so I stayed with other family members during that time) and everything was very weird at first, but I'm sure that the support of my friends made it all bearable and funnier. So yeah, it's not the first time I'm away, but this time it's just really, really far. But I feel that once I have friends to talk to, hang out with and vent every now and then, it will be better with time c:

Also, I'm glad that you found your way through it! Its no ramble, but a example (like said, many people have been in the same situation and stuck it out and succeeded! You did c: ).

Yes, hobbies! I need to keep my mind occupied. Once I get to know this city better, I'll try to find a drawing course, maybe some muay thai classes and see how it helps me to unwind. I think it's a great idea!

I'm really afraid I'll be even more homesick after visiting during breaks, but I comfort myself with the fact that every 6 months or so I can apply for a transference to a nearer school (I feel a little awkward and looser-ish saying so, but life takes some very unexpected turns. I never thought I'd be here, in this city, or that it would be this far, so I'll just let it carry me. I believe it will be alright!). I also hope I'm able to fall in love with this place and have reasons to stay, not just stick it through. But hey, let's see how it goes! Thank you a lot for the support, it's comforting to see that I'm not the first one in this kind of situation and that it's possible to get used to it. Thanks, really! <3

My friend asked to hug me when she was very homesick