i work at an amazon FC and its seriously destroying my already shitty body & mental health. last year i was very ambitious and tried going to community college to get a degree to be a veterinary technician, but as soon as the classes actually became classes, i panicked and dropped out (ive never been good at the whole 'school' thing, dropped out of public high school, did online schooling for less than a year & dropped out of that, but i did get my GED with high scores surprisingly) but like the point of this post is that i feel like im trapped working at amazon until i get fired for running out of time or not making rate consistently. and then once that happens, im screwed because i have no skills, no motivation... the only other job i had was at walmart for like 2 1/2 weeks before i lost my mind. it just sucks that i cant make myself do things that other people seem to do so easily. i wish i could just go to my job and deal with it because hey im making money and can afford to LIVE... i dont know what to do though because im so miserable, but i'd feel guilty if i quit/got fired cuz that would mean only 1 out of 3 ppl in this house are working. its not a viable option. god i dont even know where im going with this, this post is such a mess and im rambling but i dont want to break down to my bf because hes already so stressed w/ everything happening in our lives... im just so tired... my medications arent helping me much & to make it worse my shitty dr is withholding on refills until i get in to see a psychiatrist but its so hard to find one that isnt a piece of shit & i can actually see at a reasonable time! i feel like im in a neverending battle against everything and im struggling to see the point of trying anymore

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I've been here and have battled depression, OCD and anxiety for over 13 years now. I've had really low points. One of those low points was working in a shop I hated for 4 years. I quit on a whim and while I felt good, it was quite reckless because I didn't have another job to go to. I was lucky and found another job but they were both in retail. I enjoyed them more than I enjoyed my other job but I still felt like I was stuck in a rut. Things do get better though. I had a good look on job sites and found one working in a residential home. I got the job and I've been there for nearly 5 months now and I love it. I've gained confidence, feel like I'm doing something very worthwhile and I'm even doing a care qualification. I had to look at my life and do something about it. Have a look around, evaluate what you like and don't like about jobs and careers and go from there. If you've got mental health problems then it won't be easy, but it doesn't have to be this hard either. I hope I help you, and good luck.

I guess it really comes down to a question. Are you going to let something define you, or are you going to grow from it? I am not saying there is a lack of effort, but it definitely sounds like you got some issues that should be discussed with a doctor. I have to agree, that isn't feasible to count on 1 person to work and pay for everything. Perhaps looking into a job that you wont be required to deal with people. As far as losing motivation, the only advice I can give is to find something that DOES motivate you and use whatever that is to push your self forward. I have BPD, OCD And ADHD as well as social anxiety, comes from a life time of abuse. Two years ago, I was homeless, with no car, hungry and no ambition. Now, I have two cars, I live in a relatively nice home, I am going back to school and it was because I had to have a come to divinity with myself. I had to make a choice, what was really important to me and did I want more for myself in life or just settle for what was handed to me. You will find your niche and your way, it is just going to take time and a lot of hard work. I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors and may the road rise to meet you!

im so sorry you feel this way. Trust me when i say you're not alone. in fact, both my partner and i feel trapped too, to some degree. We too tried 'traditional' jobs, and we simply couldnt deal with them. u.u Our parents probably think we're some sort of failures by now, considering our ages [mid 30s] But we do work - as freelance writers. and it pays better than the 'traditional' jobs. [we also don't live in USA, but get paid in USD, and there is a big difference] Last traditional job i tried felt like a train wreck on repeat, but i wasn't the only one affected by it. im just surprised i survived it at this point. but my body is so weak now [1.5 years have passed since and i feel like im only getting weaker, and i have no regrets giving it up. my regrets are related to getting it] :/

When you have time, try to search for other jobs that could be better than your current, especially in the "what you have to do" department...

i want you to know there is nothing wrong with you not being able to complete an education or keep a job - everyone is simply made differently, and we each have a different path in life [and a different cross to bear, if you allow for this saying]. It's difficult, i know, but not impossible.

I wish you will soon find yourself in a situation that won't make you feel trapped anymore. hugs.

Your doctor should NOT withhold medication! If you go cold turkey on antidepressants then it can make you even worse. I have a doctor that lets me take these medications without going to see a therapist. I suggest you find a better doctor in your area. I go through depression/anxiety a bunch. I got a piece of advice for you. If you don't like where you are at this moment, change it! I gave up a position for serving (super stressful job) and downgraded to a caregiver position with another company. I make less now than ever but I value happiness more than money.
& I am in college now for my bachelors in Psychology, got a semester left! What about school/college made you back out? Did you have any aspirations with working situations? ex. dream job/career?