I'm the one who broke it off with my boyfriend of almost two years, who cheated on me in the beginning of our relationship. (I only recently found out.)

I had a lot of issues with the relationship, and woke up every morning in turmoil over whether or not I was actually happy. Obviously, I wasn't.

I never asked him for anything ridiculous, I just wanted him to take care of himself, clean up after himself, do something other than watch netflix, and maybe be affectionate towards me every now and then.

These things were apparently too much; he couldn't even be bothered to shower on a regular basis.

When I confronted him he somehow figured out a way to dispute it by blaming all of his issues on me. That was the final straw.

I packed up and left today, and low and behold he was only sad for himself-- he didn't give a shit about how I felt. He just kept saying things like, "I wont be able to hang out with our friends anymore", and just overall just wallowing in self-pity. I cried the whole way to my parents house.

Our entire relationship I never got so much as one card, a nice note, flowers, anything-- he couldn't be bothered. Any time I tried to go out of my way to express my love towards him, he shrugged it off, only to tell me later it was my fault he wasn't interested, because x thing I didn't do MONTHS prior. Any time we went somewhere, he'd just look at his phone and ignore me. He let his family eat any food I bought-- all of it. I'm talking, "Sure you can have her entire pizza." Absolutely 0 consideration, and he could never figure out why I got upset.

He did things like demand I drive out of state to visit his ex with him, and demand I play nice with her. He tried to send her money behind my back. He was shady about everything.

And at the end of the day..... I still miss him. I feel so alone in the world, I feel lost without him. But I cant go back. I'll only make things worse for both of us, and its time I prioritize myself.

I spent so much time worrying over who I was going to be with, that I lost sight of the person I wanted to be.

I am so sorry to hear this, but I also think you did the right thing.

I know you mentioned you recently found out about him cheating, but it does appear you were unhappy even before learning that. Of course there are probably things that you loved about him, but overall I'm seeing a lot of flags that make it appear that you were unhappy. (Like forcing you to tag along to visit his ex and to "place nice with her," what??) I totally get that both people in a relationship need to love and support one another, but you can't forget your own happiness either. That's also super important.

I'm sure you've heard this before and it may be hard to believe, but it is true: time will help you heal. It's perfectly normal to be sad over a breakup, regardless of how healthy the relationship was. It's okay that you miss him or feel lost without him. Give it some time and you will feel better. I didn't have the most stellar relationship with my ex, but I was devastated when we finally broke up. I missed him a lot. But after some time, I started to miss and think about him less and less. Then I finally realized that I deserved much better (read: my friend was right about him lol).

In the meantime, surround yourself with loved ones and pick up some hobbies that you enjoy. I was absolutely the same: I often worried about ending up with someone that I didn't really consider if I was truly happy back when I dated my ex. I have now found and married someone that is a much better fit for me. You deserve to be happy, both with yourself and your relationship!

thankyou, its just so hard to see the good in leaving now. I'm at least lucky enough to have an awesome family who is here for me now. c:

I can relate to some of your situation as well. I recently -ish (a month and a half ago) left my boyfriend. There were many reasons behind it but the one that spurred it was his messaging other girls asking them to date him and send pics. With mine he was buying me gifts though! However I feel they wear more to cover and divert my attention off his own misdoings. I also recently heard he's blaming me for the break up. I initiated it yes, for a valid reason. Seems he'd rather live in a lie than face the truth of what happened.

Speaking of facing the truth. You will be fine, one day at a time. I too still have moments where I miss the guy. He would help picking masque clay out of my hair or help with small things after a shower like putting lotion on My feet. The reminder I give myself is that no amount of missing the small good things is worth all the hassle and stress the other things brought. You may need to remind yourself in this way too. There will always be someone willing to do the small things for us, but with less worry and stress.

This is an ideal time to learn something new for you. I myself am reading more often and trying to learn Chinese brush painting. It's not going well the painting, however its a good way to fill time and know more of what I can do. Maybe there's a hobby or class you never had a chance to try?

As far as playing nice with an ex goes. I feel ya on the forced feeling of it. Unless it's family or other critical people there's ZERO reason for him to have taken you along and told you to be nice. I can be in a room with my sworn enemy, but if there for someone we both care for I can be civil and keep tempers down. I also am friends with an ex of mine. I don't hide it ever. Sometimes people do work better as friends than in a romance. This one in particular is happy for me when I do start a new romantic venture and wishes me luck, he is also there to help remind me of who I am if that romance breaks apart. He has his own life with kids now and I visit his whole family every so often. It took us time to be friendly but we did agree we didn't want the same things romantically. Spent 3 years datin to find that out so we did have hurt feelings if for a bit. Would I expect any new man I date to accept it and play nice right off the bat? Heck no, I get it its not the usual way a friendship starts. However I do expect out of courtesy to me for some civil behaviour if they ever get to meet.

Don't hide how you feel in this situation. You'll go through cycles until your feelings settle. That's perfectly normal. It means you felt something worthwhile somewhere in it. My ex went from messages daily to trying to convince me he needs a second chance to now in a bitch. My own feelings went from I feel relief from not having to stress and be confused to I kiss x thing and now has settled on I am better off without the stress he brought. It's hard to see now, but better things are always in store. :) we just have to deal to make the room to allow this new things in.