Oh dear this is quite a pickle.

Clearly confiding in family and friends aren't an option or you'd not be here with this much being asked. And for that I'm sorry to hear because things will be tougher for you.

Now as to how you feel. It's hard to say what you truly are until you go on some dates and get experience under your belt. You kight think you're having feelings in a specific way that makes you feel like you might be gay when it could just be base feelings of lust being compounded with lack of dating experience. Could also be you may start dating just men or just ladies and rind out you are bi with a lean more to women. It's really hard to say. My friends ex went from being monogamous to realizing she was poly and they split but she's happier trying what she feels is right for her.

However it seems you may also have a fear? Uncertainty? About possibly being into only women. If you were to find yourself to be gay would your family and friends turn on you?

I myself am into men and only men for dating. However that doesn't stop me from going oooh she's pretty when I see a good looking lady either. I really feel you should try a few dates out and get your toes wet and start finding out more about you.

If this has been going on for seven years, I doubt this is 'just a phase.' I don't think you'll ever truly know until you actually get out there and see what relationships with both women, and men are like and whether you want the attention of one or the other (or possibly both). I would try not to worry so much about the 'she might leave me for a man' thing because usually by the time someone is 30 -- they know what and who they want, and if you're with a lesbian, she's going to want to be with women (aka, you in this case).

Also I think sexuality is extremely fluid and you don't have to be one end of the scale or the other -- it's not black and white. You don't have to feel obligated to 'come out' to anyone until you're ready (which I mean, may be never, who knows -- in the end that's up to you).

I would really recommend seeking out advice or a therapist who is well-versed in LGBT+ matters or the community and get some advice and tools on how to handle your feelings. I'm sorry that you're going through this and feeling so confused.

Sexuality is rarely black-and-white, it's more of a spectrum.

I do want to say, as a psychology major, that just because your sexuality may not align with what your religious text says is "proper" does not mean that you should be ashamed, hide, or ignore that aspect of your humanity. People who ignore their feelings rarely end up happy, and conversion/aversion therapy can't truly change who you are or may be. They can teach you how to cope, but they will not change your feelings. People do not choose to be gay, otherwise you would have stopped having these feelings years ago. I know several people who were forced into those therapies and it did way more trauma to them in the long run.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to keep seeking advice, like you are now, and (healthily and safely) explore your sexuality.

I am personally bisexual and came from a very small, very religious town. I was bullied relentlessly once someone spread my secret, and for a long time, I was full of anger and depression. When high school was over and I left that town, though...that changed the game.

I had carried around so much religious guilt for years. It took even longer for me to let that go and realize that, at the end of the day, I am just a human. I was made the way I was for a reason, everyone has a purpose, and even the Bible says "Judge not, lest ye be judged." The people who used the book's words against me were also using it against themselves. Our world is evolving, our society is evolving, and we understand more about ourselves than we ever did before.

I will say for the record that I am no longer Christian, I follow another path now, but one of peace. Still, I remember what it was like to be in the same dilemma, where you feel like your morals are against who you are.

The most important thing to remember is that your sexuality, whatever it may be, is not what defines you as a person. It doesn't make you a good or bad person. Look at Ellen and how much she does for everyone else in this world. Literally one of the nicest people in the entire world. If anyone deserves a ticket to a divine paradise, it's her.

Don't worry. Don't let it eat you up. Don't be afraid to seek advice and explore your options. This life is too short to live it full of "what ifs" and regrets.

Edit: As a side note, churches used to sell indulgences to people. It was basically a pardon from their sins in exchange for money. Don't let anyone judge you. There are non-denominational sects of Christianity who understand that it's impossible for people in 2018 to follow the Old Testament. We'd never be able to wear two different types of fabric at the same time. Not to mention that the Bible also says in Exodus 21 that men can sell their daughters as slaves, and also, "When a man strikes his slave, male or female, with a rod and the slave dies under his hand, he shall be avenged. But if the slave rises after a day or two, he is not to be avenged, for the slave is his property," so it's definitely time we have a bit of an update, eh?

I know it can be difficult to find people to talk to. I'm here if you need someone. I'm not a licensed therapist, but I can be a friend if you need one and someone to vent to if you feel like it. In terms of seeking therapy, I had to go to drive to another town for the same reason you mentioned. I was going through a lot and there was no one in my town for me to turn to. They were the reason I needed therapy to begin with. I had to drive 45 minutes into the city for someone whom I felt safe enough to open up to.

They have advice lines now, and even 7Cups if you want you want to speak to someone online (it's free!). Whatever you need, I can try to help you find options or be here for you personally. My primary concern is that you find someone to talk to so you don't feel isolated or become depressed. Everyone needs support, and if you're strong enough to ask for it, you deserve it.

I've been there. I've 'entered' the dating game when I was a 12 yo girl. I only dated girls (aside from 3 guys) and it took me literal years to be okay with it. It felt incredibly wrong to be attracted by women and to even look at them. This situation created a lot of conflict within me and my relationships. As I grew up and entered high school!!, I kept putting on a front and kept telling myself to focus on guys only (while I dated girls on the side).I never told anyone until I reached college. I started to be more comfy with my preferences, but I still have that weird saying in my head that I shouldn't be doing this. I don't judge people and I am a fair supporter of LGBQTA+ rights. I think it's okay for you to question yourself ... but in my case, a 13 years phase is just not a phase at all. It's who I am.

I'm 25 now and all I can say to myself is that: it's okay to love and want whoever you want to. @ Quentin [edit] tldr: still can't english at times

One lasted close to 8 years years (girl) and the others were almost a year. As for guys, I'd say most of them weren't that serious at all. I've never done anything with them as I've felt pretty much uncomfortable touching them in an intimate way. I'm not a very sexual person tbh, so my answers don't matter much.

Yes! They have both forums and people who specialize in helping LGBTQ+ community members.