I just need to write this down...
Replies
Sorry for this wall of text underneath; I really don't have anyone to talk with about my problems and I need to let it go before it drives me crazy.
SPOILER (click to toggle)
So, I'm currently living in Switzerland and moved there after family problems forced me to move away from home and quit my apprenticeship in the process. This happened a few years ago and since that I'm actively looking for a way to continue where I left off. I did some small jobs on the side, but nothing that could help me get officially registered as a citizen here since I need a full-time employment to do that (I'm still registered in Germany tho, but I don't wanna go back). This also includes a new insurance yadda yadda, the usual stuff. My dad offered me help, to let me move to him, but I'm stubborn and he's not as important to me as he thinks he is. He says I'm dumb and stupid to refuse (maybe I am) since he thinks I will never find something where I live now. It's part my fault since I really had to fight against an approaching depression and practically wasted some years which I actually couldn't afford. I'm 27 years old now and everything that happened in my childhood and life so far kinda destroyed a lot of potential things I could've done with a better degree. I have a poor degree, but I'm not dumb. I was really lazy at school, was bullied, and whatever the hell could make a teenager miserable. Now, I'm extremely serious about finding something here, so I can get registered, move together with my boyfriend and get things done for myself. I just don't wanna leave him and go to a father I don't want to be with. I know I should think about my future and work, but being where I don't wanna be isn't helping me much.
Anyway, I finally found something at the end of last month. I got a call, had to do a trainings day and after that was over, my soon-to-be-boss was satisfied with my work and wanted to hire me. Since it is a 1-year-internship with a 3-year-apprenticeship afterwards, a contract of employment only happened by word of mouth. I didn't sign anything as of yet, since I figured that she would call me to do it at a later date when I have all of my important documents in order. She gave me her contact information in an E-Mail and send me some sort of document to fill out which I could use as a proof for the authorities to get me registered. I send that and another one from the authorities back to her two days later and mentioned that she should please sign it, fill in the needed gaps and send it back as soon as she's able to. Everything went as hoped, but now we have the 11th of June and I send the documents at May 31st. I wrote her an E-Mail at Saturday and asked if she already received the stuff, but she didn't reply. She was quick to reply to the other E-Mails tho, so I got a bit suspicious. I thought: Okay, maybe she's sick, has problems, whatever, so I'm gonna wait and call on Monday. Today I called the place, asked for her, but she was apparently on the phone, so the only thing I got was: "Yea, I'm gonna tell her." It's gonna close soon and she hasn't contacted me in any way yet. I'm also scared to call again... I don't wanna push and be annoying, even tho I know I probably should.
I'm really scared and sad that I won't get the job in the end; also I feel like she avoids me on purpose, but I dunno. I never had luck with work so far or any luck really in the past few years and this was something that instantly brightened my life, but now... I just feel like crying all over again. I don't know what to think about this at all. It's not hard to let me know, to call me, to write me since I need these documents before I begin working there on July 1st. Now I'm dreading the next phone call is about me not being able to work there anymore, despite me not knowing what could've gone wrong. Maybe I'm overthinking things, but I'm a very cautious person and instantly expect the worst if something doesn't go like it should.
/sigh I thought it would feel better after writing it all down, but it really doesn't. I hate not having clarity in these kinds of things.
I can't offer much in the way of advice, but I can certainly empathise! I won't bore you with too many personal details, but my school/university career was also less than stellar. Part of that was due to my own laziness and idiocy (teen-me was by no means stupid in the academic sense, but majorly lacking in common sense!); but with hindsight, there was almost certainly a lot of undiagnosed mental/emotional stuff going on, that contributed to me screwing myself over (at least you got a degree; I spent years at uni before dropping out without one).
I don't know if you've considered that it's not too late to get a good degree? It might not be feasible right now, while your financial/geographical situation is somewhat unstable, but don't write it off for the future (and obviously if you decide to go that route, the sooner the better, to improve your job prospects). And if you're studying at distance (e.g. Open University) the 'geographical' aspect of that might not matter, after all.
As regards the more immediate future:
You should definitely contact her again! In the worst case scenario, that the job has fallen through: what do you even have to lose by being potentially "annoying"? (provided of course that you remain polite and don't burn any bridges, in case further opportunities arise with the same company.) The paperwork is necessary and urgent, so it's fine to send a reminder - keep it brief and polite, and it should not be annoying to any reasonable person. With luck, her unresponsiveness will turn out to have been a simple oversight.
Oh wow, I didn't expect anyone to answer me on this, really. First of all, thanks for doing so! It's scary how much I can relate to your first paragraph tho, it sounds exactly like me. Also no, I don't have a degree in terms of uni. I'm from Germany and degree here means just that I completed a certain school grade - the worst one so to speak despite me being in the highest school. I never went to university even tho I really wanted to.
I also considered catching up on my school stuff, but I have yet to check when I could possibly squeeze it in. I'm a bit vary about distance learning, so I would probably rather go to an evening school (do you have something like that where you live?). But since I start working full-time soon and start my internship next year, there's almost no time for this. It's really frustrating.
Oh, and to be on topic... it was just the bad gut feeling of mine that kept me on edge. I actually got an E-Mail one day later from another higher up who was responsible for signing the work contract and stuff, so all I needed for registering arrived yesterday. The timing was just so perfect. I worried for nothing and now I feel incredibly stupid, but that's just how I am. If something doesn't go smooth, I always expect the worst, haha.
So glad to hear that things are working out on the job front after all. :D
Regarding further education, while this clearly isn't the right time to take on any new commitments of that sort, I'd say that there's no harm doing some preliminary research into your options - what courses are available where, what sort of investment (time and money) they'd require from you... if the time comes when you're ready to follow that route, at least you'd be well prepared.
But meanwhile: good luck in your new job! :)
I'm so glad that everything worked out for you in the end! I understand how you felt, I get really panicky and nervous whenever I need to do important paperwork; I usually wind up double and triple checking everything and checking email about a dozen times a day for a response lol.
As far as continuing your education goes,I definitely agree that doing research now would be your best bet; that way, when you're in a better position to actually do something, you'll have a plan in place. Maybe look at some programs you might be interested in, see what it entails in terms of coursework. And most importantly, don't give up on the idea of getting an education! I'm going to be 29 next month and I'm still working on getting my degree. I have my hang ups about it from time to time about it; I feel like I wasted too much time, that I'm playing catch up , and some days it gets too overwhelming and I just want to give up. But I just have to remind myself that I'm working for a better future, and that every step forward is a step closer to my goals. So consider this a step forward for you, and it will lead to even better things for you.You WILL get to where you're supposed to be. I believe in you!
[Tree=forensicfreak]