If you're not sure of the word I used in my subject, obsessive compulsive spartanism is the exact opposite of a hoarder. They get rid of things. All things, everything. I have this and I've had it for years (since I was a child). As a child, I was like most kids and had tons of toys, clothes, VHS's (If you young people know what those are.), knick-knacks, and the list goes on. But one day, it just started. I had this thing where I had to get rid of something and I felt better when I got rid of it. Most stuff has been donated to other families or to a second hand store. Before too long, all I had left was my bed, a dresser, my little TV, and that was it. And even the furniture in my little domain (room), I wanted it all gone. My parents took it as that I was just a neat freak and that was it. I spent a lot of time cleaning up the house and throwing this thing and that out. Little by little. Then, we moved. When we moved, we lost a lot of stuff. Our storage area had a massive leak and a big storm ripped through and we lost lots of possessions. But, I was relieved while my parents were upset. After a while, I had to live with my parents collecting of this or that or bring in another couch or another TV. . . .

Fast forward a bit of years, I'm married and my partner hates that I keep tossing stuff. Once had to drag me away from the kitchen cause I was trying to take apart the dining table that we don't use to pitch it out the door. I hate the stuff. My partner loves to have things around but I can't handle it. It stresses me to dangerous levels and they think it can be cured by sitting there with it for a long period of time. Nope, makes me want to toss it even more. I go through my clothes weekly and ask myself if I want to wear that again or will it sit in my dresser forever. And don't get me started on the dresser. I want that thing out the door too. And that old TV, the old entertainment center. The second bed that is up against a wall, the unneeded third dresser. I want it gone but my partner keeps telling me it will go away. . . It won't. I know it won't. I don't want the stuff but they do. I've came to the hard choice of dreading going home. Or as soon as I get home, I take sleeping medicine, sleep, wake up and go to work. But on my days off, I sit around the stuff. I honestly don't know what to do. . . . My partner wants the stuff. I don't. I'd feel so much happier with nothing around me than a rack full of DVD's we haven't watched in over five years. . . .

Sorry for the rant. . . .

Does your partner not believe it's a real disorder? Because I have that problem with my dad. I have misophonia and misokinesia - kind of an obsessive hatred of certain sounds and movements, such as someone tapping their fingers or bouncing their knee. When it gets triggered, I get instantly angry and almost in pain. I have to tell the person to stop, or the pressure inside gets worse and worse until I explode at them or they go away (and even then it takes me a long time to cool down). I hate it. It's by far the worst thing I've ever had to deal with. My dad does a lot of little movements that really set me off and he gets pissed every time I ask him to stop. He comes back with these snarky comments that sound like he's making fun of me and it hurts, but he doesn't seem to give a shit. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he won't listen. My mom is better about it. She at least tries to understand and knows it's a real disorder. But my dad flat out refuses to acknowledge I have a problem. He's pretty much an ass about it. So I totally understand where your frustration with your partner comes from. I feel it every day.

That's not cool that your dad does that. My partner knows that it is a real disorder but I think they don't like to know that I have something like that. I mean, why keep something that we haven't used in years? We never eat at the kitchen table. One, it's ugly, two, that kitties lay on it, and three, it piles up with junk. And it's in the way but I don't like it. I would love to spring clean but, I know that I would just get rid of EVERYTHING and be left with nothing . Honestly, I like that.

My partner gets annoyed that on my days off, I go into a full frenzy and start cleaning and grouping stuff together to get rid of. They go behind me and put things back. It stresses me out and it's not a game of, out of sight-out of mind. I know it's still there and I want it gone. One, my partner is kinda a slob and likes things around to make it homey. But, I don't. Bare minimum to zilch is my happiness.

Plus, in a few months our apartment complex is going under renovation and that means we will have to relocate until they are done. I'm going to have to use my entire vacation this year to pack junk that I don't want to put in a moving truck and to relocate to a new area. I keep telling my partner that we should just get rid of stuff to make it easier on us. Nothing is getting to them. . . .

Would it help for some of the smaller things that your partner wants to keep, if you were to get a cabinet or some such to store things in? That way you wouldn't have to see them, but your partner could still have them around.

i'm sorry to hear of your struggles. i'm not familiar with this disorder,but i know it can be stressful to have people around who don't understand. perhaps you could only throw away the stuff you pay for or you own. And maybe when you get into the "spring cleaning frenzy" and feel like throwing more stuff away, just try to pile them in a box, and hide said box, especially if the stuff belong to your partner..? see if they realize... try and do this with small objects that you know for sure they haven't been used in a long time [say in more than 6 months].

my partner would understand your struggles - their family would go behind their back and search in the trash for things my partner might have gotten rid of, and retrieve and hide them.. my partner is upset with their parents for this and their hoarding tendencies... their mother gives us stuff at times telling us NOT to throw them away because "they're still in good shape" except, they're not, LOL.

I struggle with getting rid of stuff i haven't used in a long time [more than 1 year, lol].... but then again, i/we don't own that many things either. and i think i can repurpose some of them.. but i'm not impressed with the old/used stuff we receive under the excuse "they are still in good shape", because not even for the hoarder in me those are in good shape - a stain here, another one there, distressed collars and cuffs on shirts that look gross because of how long they've been worn, or a pair of beach sandals from 1970s [they can still be worn, to be honest] that don't fit me nor my partner u.u.

oh, sorry, i was derailing your thread with my rant. u.u

My mother is a hoarder but not what you would see on television shows. Her type of hoarding is that of a tolerable level. She loves collecting things. But, as a child, we had this round table that my dad converted into table that you could store things in it. That was a huge mistake cause then my mum started piling junk in it. She had this thing where she tore off a side of a cigarette packet and save that little side in an old coffee can. Don't ask cause I absolutely have no idea. Granted, it was a good thing to have when I had to clean in a matter of five minutes when we had surprise company. That table held a lot. I got rid of it because it was clunky AND I ended up slicing my leg wide open on it. It had pieces of metal that held the shape of it and our one dog chewed a piece of it and I was talking on the phone with a friend, didn't see it and sliced my leg on it. I needed stitches but I patched it up like a redneck with duct tape and paper towels. It was bad. But, I made my mum clean it out and get rid of it since it was more of health risk. Now that my parents live in a tiny camper/trailer like thing, they try to store a whole house an that thing and it's painful to visit. My mother has no idea when to stop bringing home things or pawn them off on me. >.<

your mother sounds a bit like both my partner's and my parents. u.u especially this part: "She had this thing where she tore off a side of a cigarette packet and save that little side in an old coffee can."

doesn't sounds bad, our parents are not as bad as on those shows either. but you know, sometimes even what they have is a bit too much. and sometimes even i feel like throwing half of their stuff away. my partner says they'd have to throw 3/4 of their parent's stuff, and that's even more scary.

letting go of the past can be difficult at times, especially when the past seems safer than the present or the future.