I'm so sorry to hear all of that dear. I can't give any advice to fix the situation, but I can give some advice to fix your you <3 You need to take a day off from all of this. Give yourself one day vacation. It doesn't even have to be a whole day if that seems intimidating. Sit and meditate, listen to music or dance around if thats your thing, whatever it takes to get you in the zone of not stressing as much. Then go to a thrift store and buy a cheap scarf or hat or two, because they're a low cost and pretty way to distract from hair loss (I have trichatilomania, its a hair-pulling disorder, so I have a few tricks). I know there are dry soaps and shampoos if you don't feel safe showering but still need to get clean. Its a temporary solution but it could make a big difference in the mean time. Make sure you have a good meal and get plenty hydrated. I know this seems like simple basic stuff but I also know I personally forget to take care of my mental/physical self when things get crazy. Once you've had a chance to really rest, you might see a solution or compromise for some of these situations that was not there before.

Oh, hun.

Most of the treatments for psoriasis have to do that because it is an autoimmune thing anyway but you knew that. It boils down to having to either compromise your immune system for the treatment or enduring the problem, it's a disgusting choice no one should have to make. I'm with in the scarf or hat thing to keep from fixating on the issue right now or at least making it less visible so you don't as easily.

Most importantly, take a breath and if they cancel or whatever again, just say no. Tell them why, if they're worth their salt, they'll listen to your concerns and take them into consideration. Explain to the doctor why the medicine bothers you, it might be "OCD" or whatever, but your feelings are still valid and you have the right to know why exactly you must put this medicine in your body if you even chose that path. If they can't respect that, it's not your problem.

I bought dry shampoo today, but it's damned impossible to find unscented. So, I went with the lightest scent I could find. I also bought a product called: Healing Remedy. Scalp Balancing Cleanser shampoo and I also got the conditioner. On the back it says:

-Calms and Comforts: ideal for dry or flaky scalp -Shiso mint, Papaya Extract: controls oily scalp (I have a problem with greasy hair. It's always been like that) -Heals with Keratin -Gugo Bark extract -Free of sulfates, sodium chloride and gluten.

I really don't think it's all an natural product, as I see Blue 1 and a huge list of stuff. The ingredients are way too long to list. They were very expensive because I got it from the salon. I wanted to try as natural as a remedy before I hit the medicated stuff. Plus, she told me these are for psoriasis and that they do have a hair growth serum once my scalp is treated and no longer inflamed.

My whole gripe is: if I refuse the Stelara, don't push it on me. She's relentless. Last time I had an appointment, the Doctor said "You need Stelara. You're suffering. This will all stop once you get the injections". I'd rather suffer, thank you. Plus the pharmacist from Southern Ontario told me that it's NOT a good idea to do Stelara when I'm diabetic as my immune system is already compromised and it will make it worse (What happened in 2017: Caught bad colds in March, April and May. Then I got bronchitis in November and the flu 4 days before Christmas, including puking on Christmas Day).

So sorry you just can't seem to catch a break... wish there was something I could do to help... :(

shit i’m sorry this is happening to you. this all sounds so frustrating and stressful and i don’t even know how to offer advice for this situation. i wish i could tell your mom to stop being so cruel to you. she just seems like such a bully :( hugs

I got an anonymous gift and the quote said: "If you’re going through Hell, keep going." Winston Churchill

I seriously cried. Winston Churchill was a great person and he never backed down from anything. He persevered and conquered (I think those are the same? Idk. My brain is mush).

I just feel so alone right now.

Fck that dude! You gotta go nuclear. Call them again. And again. And again. If you have time, show up there and say you want to make another appointment. They say you gotta call it in? Make the call right in front of them. It's easy for them to ignore someone over the phone, harder to do in person. This method worked for my mom, hopefully it works for you. However!!! BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE! If your just aggressive they might try to make shit up with the cops.

Remember, they are public servants. They are there to serve you to the best of their ability. Let them know they need to do better.

This link below is about ER experiences but the key note I want you to take from it is persistence. Don't give up. Don't give in.

http://girlwhotumbls.tumblr.com/post/172483582406/the-louder-you-are-in-the-er-waiting-room-the#=

What is this doctor's problem? Holy crap. And she's the only one in your area for this? Yeah, no. Screw that.

My area of expertise isn't dry shampoos so... I don't want to lead you astray.

That's ok. At least I'll have the dry shampoo for when my hair is greasy AF, which is everyday. My hairdresser said my hair is healthy.. lots of oil and that it's ok to wash it twice a day if I have to (it's that oily).

I don't really know what her deal is. She used to be good, until she started getting all of these cosmetic procedures in. Now she pushes cosmetics and her husband is a crooked politician here in town. She set her a practice here because our city had nothing. Last I saw in the paper, that we were supposed to potentially get another dermatologist (just finished grad school) and that the city was bidding for this doctor. I haven't hard anything further.

I know. I have to call the office and say "I call for a reason and I have psoriasis on my scalp and I'm loosing my hair". Plus, it takes MONTHS to get in and see her. If it's been over a year, you need a new referral. I want to give the stuff I bought a chance. I got the shampoo and conditioner for $43.98 because it was buy one, get the other 15% off (I saved $14.00. Just imagine if I didn't hit the sale as today was the last day. It would've been $65.52).

I did look into the products I bought and I'm feeling hopeful, actually. It has really good reviews and it is also for hair regrowth! So.. I leave the shampoo in for 5min and then the conditioner gets left in for 5min.

Maybe I'll take another picture next week and see how it goes. I'm too embarrassed to post the one I took the night I cried.

P.S. It's really hard to control my anger when I get upset. I don't use mental illness as a crutch, but having a personality disorder is very hard to maintain (Borderline Personality). I usually blow up like a firecracker and stay mad for days.

Whoa! That's expensive! I hope the shampoo and conditioner work out. If they try to change the date again, show up in person. Heck, they've already done it before so I'd show up now. Like on the next free day you have time, just show up in person and remind them how many times they've change the date and how you don't want history to repeat itself. That way, when they need to schedule someone else in, they don't scratch your name off. You'd be fresh in their memory.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

You know, I'm glad you looked into Stelara and talked to a pharmacist. It's flipping scary that the dermatologist would give such bad advice.

I already got mad at them in January or February. I've been waiting for the results of my toenail clippings. The nurse cut them and sent them to the lab for testing to see if I had nail fungus (that was last April). They called me in June and said it's still not tested. So I called them and said "Did you ever test my toenails, or did you throw them out to piss me off?" So they said "Uhh.. your appointment in on April 6!" and then they called back saying "It didn't show fungus". So I said "Why is my toenail yellow and why am I getting infections in my nail?" They told me it'll get "tested again".

But.. I've been cutting it off and it's almost gone now. It might be psoriasis in my toenails.

I'm glad the pharmacist called me and said everything I read is true. He was super sweet!

facepalm I don't want to say it, but Imma say it, you're surrounded by idiots. Holy shi-! Dude, it sounds like they totally did throw 'em out and are just trying to cover it up. Luckily, as you've said, the condition is almost gone now due to your own diligence but my god...

I know it's hard to move but if you can, start saving money to leave that town. It may take you years to get enough money to move but I think it'll be worth it. At least for your own health, it's best to move to a city where medical care is more accessible.

Only problem with that, is that Toronto and the rest of Southern Ontario is SUPER expensive to live in. I would need three roommates to be able to cover rent. I'm OCD and don't even get me started on the germs n.n;;

Damn, you're stuck in-between a rock and a hard place. :/ I can only hope things get better soon hugs

HUGS

I don’t know if this will help but worth a shot!

My sister has psoriatic arthritis and psoriasis and has had the psoriasis for years. Recently she’s broken out in HORRIBLE stashes very frequently.

I have a baby boy who had a horrible diaper rash to the point his skin was peeling and raw. I bought a product called “Ihles Paste” and it not only cleared his rash, it cleared her rashes AND my own rashes.

It’s HIGH in zinc. It’s the highest zinc concentration in lotions/pastes I could find. It’s completely safe, no chemicals, no talc, and it has done wonders for her and my rashes. It might be able to help you too.

As for hair loss I feel your pain. I had a bout with alopecia and had three massive bald spots for a while. A friend of mine actually had alopecia worse and is now permanently bald. I know it sucks, and it makes you feel awful to have bald spots, I hated it, cried for days, but i started to realize my hair is just a cosmetic part of me. What matters is how I feel and the people around me that love me. If I lost all my hair tomorrow, I’d be a lot happier with it than I was when I lost hair the first time.

I have severe OCD too, to the extreme and especially about my health, and can definitely say I’d smack your doctor. I refuse to do cosmetic procedures, and take medications not 100% necessary. If you ever need to vent I’m here to listen.

Thank you.

The Doctors here in my city suck. They don't listen to you and if you have a problem, they don't send you for tests.

[edit] The paste is only for dermatitis.

we're lucky enough here that the doctors listen MOST the time, but we've had a couple misdiagnoses and such that are frustrating. I hope you can find help soon.

nope not at all but just keep ur head high Okay :D