I am 23 years old and my parents still manage my life.

My mom has a tracking device on my phone. They control my finances. They've had a big say in my major, schools I attended, people I date etc. and disregarding what I want and ask for. The last time I stood up to them was when I switched my major from business to communication sciences. My father has not gotten over this act of rebellion and has been pressuring me to apply for an MBA.

I have tolerated this and just come to terms how things are. But now my boyfriend and I want to go to a city two hours away to meet his parents for one day and my parents are having a collective conniption. They say it's too soon (we've been together 8 months) and that his American parents will force me to sleep in the same bed as him and refuse to make up a guest bedroom.

I've tried compromising but they're not having it. I need to stand up to them and this feels like a good first step but I don't know how to do it in a way that won't hurt them.

tldr; Has anyone had experiences with overprotective parents? Advice you can give me?

That's not overprotective, speaking as one who had overprotective parents, that's close to abusive/controlling.

My advice would be for you to get far, far, far away from them, get new everything, you're an adult, and one of the terms for your going back or contacting them should be for them to respect adult boundaries. You're not a child anymore. You might be their kid but you're 23, a legal adult.

Unfortunately, is right. This is way beyond simply being overprotective.

In addition to what's already been said, judging from how you've described your parents, no matter what you say to them. they're probably going to blow it out of proportion and make it personal to make you feel guilty. Be ready for that, and try not to blame yourself when they get upset. Be kind but firm. I would tell them that you are a grown adult and they are keeping you from experiencing things you'd like to experience. Explain that you want to be happy, and they should want that for you as well. You appreciate that they're trying to look out for you, but it's hurting you more than helping because it's too much.

And I agree that you should get away from them and establish a rule that you'll only contact them if they can respect your wishes.

I also think that's abusive behavior. I'd also try to get away as soon as I could, if I were you.

In regards to visiting the parents of your BF, you could have your parents talk to his on the phone, and request a quest room for you, or something of the sorts. it's silly to think that his parents would make you sleep in his room if this is not something you're OK with. And you could tell his parents this as well [if it's true of course].

in regards to your education, i'm convinced they want the best carrier possible for your future.

i wish you all the best. be strong and remember you're not alone ;)

First of all, good on you for changing your major to pursue what you wanted to instead of what was expected of you! It mightn't be in line with what their ideal was for you, but this definitely is your life, despite the amount of control they have over your finances - besides, they didn't stop you from pursuing your career path. Beyond the complaining, I'm impressed that's where that stopped. If they're still paying for tuition [assuming that's the case], it's still a small step in the right direction. Even if they do have control over it.

If you're still living under their roof, it's a bit hard to properly stand your ground when they've made it so you're more or less reliant on them and their decisions. I think the best advice I have to give is to find things that you solely have control over. Or, for the things that you feel that you should have sole control over, slowly change it so it aligns that way. Setting yourself up to be independent isn't going behind their backs. It isn't being ungrateful if you want to make your own decisions as a young adult, even if it's at odds with their ideal. In the long run, you can't be scared of hurting their feelings if it has to do with the way you want to live your life. You need to live for yourself!

As far as short-term goals go, I think standing your ground about going to meet your boyfriend's parents is a very good idea. Talk to them, and find out all the reasons why they have a problem with it. If some of their points seem unreasonable, tell them [I mean for real, I don't know of any parents insisting that the significant other of their child sleep in the same bed as them as a conversation upon entry LOL imagine????]. On the other hand, if some of their points hold some weight, listen to what they have to say but assure them that everything will be fine - and politely insist to receive the same amount of respect that you've given them.

It mightn't go without consequence, but it will be a necessary conversation to have at some point or another. Even if it isn't to do with these particular plans.

my first thought is you're an adult and if it's you're choice if they have a tracker on your phone, so if you don't like it remove it! Same goes for any other choice in your life. Just say that firmly, not emotionally just state what you think and how you want things to change. it's not up for debate, your uncomfortable and you want x to change, within reason. it's good to be direct sometimes.

my first thought is you're an adult and if it's you're choice if they have a tracker on your phone, so if you don't like it remove it! Same goes for any other choice in your life. Just say that firmly, not emotionally just state what you think and how you want things to change. it's not up for debate, your uncomfortable and you want x to change, within reason. it's good to be direct sometimes.

my first thought is you're an adult and if it's you're choice if they have a tracker on your phone, so if you don't like it remove it! Same goes for any other choice in your life. Just say that firmly, not emotionally just state what you think and how you want things to change. it's not up for debate, your uncomfortable and you want x to change, within reason. it's good to be direct sometimes.

edit: i have no idea why this posted 3 times plz remove

Thank you all for your responses! I took everything into consideration and thought I should update all of you! I spoke to my parents and told them that it was time for the controlling behavior to end. They conceded on some points, but not all. Since then I have become more financially independent and have removed the tracking device. Hopefully things will improve.

Thank you all again for taking the time to respond! It means so much to me.

Congratulations! It sounds like a big step you took in the good direction. Keep it up!

Oh, good! I'm so glad things are starting to improve for you! That is definitely wonderful news. :) Keep kicking butt, you got this.

Oh, love, that's wonderful. It's a small step but a drastic improvement. <3 You've got this!