I'm not even sure where to start. This is probably going to be very long and confusing. Basically, I work at an assisted living home for people with Alzheimer's and Dementia, and we are owned by a larger corporation, the regional manager of which, is a toxic, horrible excuse for a human being, and a few coworkers and I are intent on getting her out of here, even if it's the last thing we do at this company. I will definitely explain in detail...lots and lots of detail.

So, for ease of discussion, we'll call the evil corporate lady 'Chuckles'. That is the name my coworkers and I refer to her by, so that we can talk about her without anyone knowing who we're talking about. I chose that name for the wonderful irony factor - she makes one do anything but chuckle. The coworkers and I who are 'in' on this are a group who have been together at least three years and we're all pretty close, even though we vary widely in age and job title. We all trust each other in regards to this issue, so that's not a problem here. I know they won't say anything to anyone who shouldn't be talked to about this.

I have personally witnessed Chuckles speaking in a demeaning way to our residents and our staff. Sometimes the way she speaks is like...a backhanded compliment, you know? Like, you know she didn't mean to be nice - she only said it to make you feel bad, but she sugar-coated it to make herself look better. Then there's the times where she just flat-out puts you down to your face, or puts a coworker down when another coworker or resident family member is in hearing distance. That is not a professional way to act. I don't care if you don't like someone - you don't put them down in front of anyone else or even to their face. If there's a problem that is affecting their work, you discuss it with them in private. But she never does that. She is completely uncouth in her manner and it is really wearing on the staff.

I think the worst incident is with my coworker, A. She has a seizure disorder and anxiety, and yes, she has had a couple of seizures at work, but she is a very good worker. She's diligent and kind with the residents and an overall good person to work with. She takes on extra duties when she's needed and she stays late when a resident needs her and she's just the kind of person everyone hopes they get to work with. But Chuckles has disliked A from day one. Chuckles pushed A to take the position she's in now and A was okay with that because Chuckles told A that she would get all the training and help she needed. A has been at that position for months now and hasn't been offered one bit of the training and help she was promised. She wasn't even given the office she was told she would have. And every step of the way, there's Chuckles telling her that she's lazy and worthless (she actually called A these things to her face). She had A so stressed at two different times, that she had bad seizures, one of which resulted in a lengthy hospital stay.

There are so many other incidents where Chuckles has made someone cry or made someone quit or just been a generally toxic person, that I can't keep count. The only thing that my coworkers and I can think to do is to write anonymous letters to corporate, to the people above Chuckles, telling them what's been going on. Chuckles has us so afraid to do anything against her though, that we all don't really know what to do. One of my coworkers is looking into getting free legal advice, but we're not union, so that's probably a dead end. If anyone has any good ideas or experience dealing with this sort of thing, or even if you want to share a similar story and/or how it turned out, please let me know!

I've dealt with a similar abuse of power from people who need to put down their own staff just to make themselves feel better. I'm sorry you and your coworkers are going though this - especially since its so bad its affecting peoples health.

I'm not sure if you have an HR person at corporate, but I would definitely get in touch with them to let them know what is going on asap - they will let you know what they need from you from there. If possible, it would also be a good idea to begin looking for other employment, since your current situation is unacceptable - and there is always the possibility that this person will not be punished despite your complaints or in the very least, take a long time to get sorted out.

Either way, the higher ups need to know what is going on otherwise there's no chance of anything ever changing since they are not psychics and have no other way of knowing unless people speak up - and HR is the best possible route to do so.

The problem with going to the HR person is that she is good friends with Chuckles. I'm not sure how high up it goes. Do you think it'd be out of line to go right to the owner of the whole company?

I'm not sure how big of a company it is - do you have more than 1 HR person? If so, then they should be contacted instead. As far as going to the owner, it really depends on their personality. 50/50 chance it will work out in your favor. You should always follow proper procedure first and file a complaint with HR, since the owner would likely have to go through them anyway.

In a perfect world, HR would be professional about it and not let a friendship interfere with their job - again, that depends on character. If you think she would definitely take Chuckles side, then if possible to approach her with definite proof of the misconduct that she CAN'T ignore, and every correspondence should be through e-mail. You always want to have backup so it doesn't turn into a case of he said she said. Proof or not, file a complaint with as much detail as possible.

I can tell you it's not going to be fixed overnight since HR usually needs to build a "pattern" of behavior. Considering this isn't a case of just an "annoying boss" or personality conflict and is in fact outright bullying - it's extremely serious. If it's ignored then all the more reason for everyone being bullied to quietly start seeking employment elsewhere.

I would also read your employee handbook to see what the correct procedure is to file a complaint. I also recommend visiting EEOC.gov in this case for even more info.

i'm sorry to hear about the problems Chuckles gives to you guys, it can't be easy :(

make sure [you or coworkers] to try and record the instances when Chuckles is abusive towards the other employees - phone camera or phone voice recorder should be good enough for this. i assume it would be more difficult to record around resident or their families [and it would be invasion of their privacies too, i suppose] make copies of the complaints you write to the HR - make sure to date them too. To keep track of them as well as getting an idea of the time passing since you submit them.

i hope this helps for this is all i have. good luck!