Sad, pissed, sad
Replies
So. My old friend died, ok, older then me by far, but one of my best friends ever. I tell this to my...significant other, and he's like "ok, so she was rich, she left you nothing?!" I'm speechless, well, for him anyway, but had to vent, I'm fuming and no one else to turn to but you guys. What...I mean seriously, what?! Of course I don't wanna talk to him right now, we'd be having the mother of a fight and I'm not up to it. I'm so freaking tired and pissed and sad... :( I feel like I lost them both actually. And I might be regretting only one of them...
Over 24h later. Amazed at your help and kind words, thank you so much...
- After you have cooled off maybe you should have a talk with your boyfriend. About how important this person was to you (so he understands how this is effecting you) and how making the comment about money was totally inappropriate.
Nothing drives me crazier, personally, then the greedy money (or material possession) grabbing that happens after someone dies.
I guess you may have talked it over with him by now, but it's really tough for people to be sure what to say to someone who's grieving. Maybe your "significant other" blanked and said the thing about money intending it to be a joke because he didn't know what to say. He likely regrets saying it and feeling bad about it could have prevented him from bringing it up. Hope both of you have worked things out or can start to.
It sounds like your partner is not very good with showing empathy...hopefully you can talk about how it made you feel. Im very sorry for your loss x
Yep, exactly how I feel, the person is not even cold yet, but the greedy grabbers start fighting, as if! Thanks ❤
Nope, he meant it, not the first time he says something alike...talked to him, but not about this, just "cold shoulders" for now, on a strictly need to basis. Can't deal with this yet...Thanks ❤
No, he's not. I know I need to talk to him about this, but I'm still...you know...blah... Thanks ❤
Sorry to hear he does mean the money comment. I agree that's a lack of empathy. It's not like it excuses his comment, since it definitely hurt you, but people are rarely taught proper empathy especially where grief is concerned. It won't be easy, but I hope the two of you can use this as a learning process to end up communicating better. My husband and I are great about communicating with each other now, though it took a of work and the occasional bad verbal fight to get there. All loving couples fight occasionally. I personally often struggle with it feeling like people don't love me if they're angry with me, but I know that's my anxiety talking and I know my husband and I resolve anger with each other much better than we used to because we've found ways to respectfully work through it.
Thank you, your advice and experience really helps ❤
...aaand your HA is SO funny :D