Just some background, I'm a 21-year-old female who lives at home with my mother until I'm financially ready to leave, which is looking to be very soon.

Yesterday, I had my first date with a guy I met on a dating app and had been speaking with for a week or two. He is 28 and lives about an hour away. We agreed to meet at a busy coffeehouse in my town to see if we clicked, and from there maybe go on to hang out elsewhere. I told my mother about my plans and left.

This was my first time meeting someone in person that I'd met on the app and I took several precautions. I told my mother his name and where we were going and told my best friend the same. When I met him and we agreed to go somewhere else, I also took a picture of him, his car, and his license plate and sent it to my friend, and told her where we were going and when we'd be back.

As we were pulling off I saw my mother's car. She had secretly followed me to the coffeehouse.

Over the next hour or so, I received texts from both her and my sister-in-law she had called "freaking out". I assured them I was fine, and after about a mile she stopped following the car.

When I got home, I confronted her about it. She claimed that "if I were a mother I'd understand", and that I was her baby and she was worried about me.

I am her youngest, my father has passed, and I am taking a year or two longer than expected to leave the nest, so I understand - to a point - where she is coming from. However, I am an adult. I went away to college for a while in a different city, and (other than very frequent calls and some prying) I was thinking she wasn't the most hovering mother I'd heard of. But at this point I realy feel like she's overstepped some major boundaries, and is blind to any criticisms I have of her actions because I'm "not a mother" and so could never understand.

Should I be as upset about this as I am? if so, how can I make her see reason?

This would be upsetting to me as well. Although I'd try not to be too angry with her, as she obviously cares about you and doesn't want to see you hurt. It looks like you're being perfectly careful though with the precautions you're taking. Have you discussed these precautions with her? Doing so should let her know that you're being careful. Maybe you could agree to check in with her every half hour or so? Just at first, to make her feel better? I would have a frank, direct conversation with her though, without raising your voice or blaming her, and let her know in no uncertain terms what you expect as an adult.

I'm older than you, although I still live at home as well, and my mother still checks in on me, including freaking out when I don't answer the phone. She doesn't seem to understand that I am not glued to my phone 24/7, that when I'm out with friends or at work, I'm paying attention to other things. I always tell her the details of where I'm going/when I'll be home/etc. but that's apparently not good enough - I also need to answer my phone no matter where I am. I don't and I've told her exactly why (I'm busy and not glued to it) and she gets it...she doesn't like it, but she gets it.