it's been awhile subeta family, i haven't been on in months, due to different things happening lately. to sum things up short, the past month or two; depression has been eating me alive. i ended up moving states, which made it ten times worse. now i'm here in a state i'm not familiar with, and with no friends. i don't know, i just want to rant but have someone listen. lately, it's been hard to find a person who genuinely cares about someone. idk, maybe my thoughts are just getting the best of me.

have you tried counseling? Or looking into your local community center just to see what all your new town offers? such as charity events,knitting groups,ect..

i have not actually. i have really bad social anxiety so it's really hard to get outside of my comfort zone. i'm actually moving back to arizona in the next couple weeks.

Hows it going?

My depression's not been that great lately as well. Honestly, I'm not sure it's ever been completely under control. I hope you can figure yours out.

eh, it's still there. the feeling of feeling overwhelmed by everything. i try to think as positive as i can, because i feel like if you put good thoughts out, the universe will bring it back to you. but for some reason it's so hard for me to think positive, especially about myself. i've noticed i have a lot of self esteem issues, and i have no idea how to fix it.

sorry to hear about that, i hope better days are to come. i feel like depression is always there, no matter how good your life is going, there is always that feeling. in my case at least, but then again i don't remember the last time i was truly happy.

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. :(

"i've noticed i have a lot of self esteem issues, and i have no idea how to fix it." There is a very easy thing you could do to start working on this. This is what I do, and saw it works. I started bullet journaling, though i guess i could call it anything else at this point because my agenda doesn't look like any bullet journal out there. I started with a bu-jo [for short] to help me keep better track of the things i have to do or take care of since i'm much better at procrastinating, haha. These days, i write in my journal everything i manage to do in a day. [examples next] Say i have to do the laundry: i literally write +laundry under the current date. this means "today i did the laundry", so i only write it after the machine stopped its washing cycle. I want to work out more. my workout routine is VERY short, but after i complete it, i write +workout under the current date. SO on and so forth.

as you can see, the idea is to write down somewhere everything you accomplish doing. Depending on the severity of your depression, even things like brushing hair, showering, boiling an egg count. Writing down anything that you can have a positive result on your self esteem. This helped me with motivating me to do more of the things I want to do -working out for instance, as well as improving the general opinion i had of myself as i felt pretty useless before. I also started adding smiling faces next to the tasks i'm particularly happy i managed to complete. Last week i have 1 day with 5 smilies [though they are related to my blog].

I also recommend trying to write down every day [not very realistic] or every week [more realistic] 5 things you're thankful you have by default [IE: you can see, walk, talk, feel things, you have clothes, a house to live in, that you're alive and therefore you have a chance at doing something good, so on].

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Actually, it may be figured out. It may be because of my thyroid and the nodule that grew on it. That apparently releases all kinds of hormones and other chemicals that can really mess you up. I just got treatment for it last week, so we'll see what happens in 6-8 weeks. It may actually help me lose weight as well. I'll be one happy camper if I not only lower or stop my depression and lose weight too, lol.

I have social anxiety too and I've been so bored and at a loss for what to do. I feel like i get the most depressed this time of year because i feel more guilty about staying inside when its nice out, and everyone else is doing fun summer stuff with their friends.

have you been doing better?

In a world full of uncertainty, and mystery, it can be quite difficult to cope with things, especially if you are unsure of what is causing them. The important thing to remember is that you are a special person, and deserve happiness. I am not very good at helping with depression, as I have it myself, so I don't really have much answers, but I do know that venting about things tend to make the burden feel not as heavy.

It is tough to look at ourselves in a positive light when all we see is darkness, but just know that within every vast darkness is a light waiting to be seen, and it isn't always about seeking that light, it is sometimes about understanding the darkness that surrounds us. We spend a lot of time trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel, and yet miss everything that can be learned along the way within that very darkness.

You are a beautiful person, and are in control of your life, don't let anyone take that smile away from you that deserves to be seen every day. I hope this helps.

I totally understand being depressed and moving around not helping. There was a period where I moved around from place to place every two months. Which that in itself lasted for two years.

You're not alone, there are people who empathize with you. Have you tried looking for healthy outlets? I know that antidepressants didn't help me at all, if anything it made it worse. So I look into things that I knew I found a little bit of joy in art, video games and music. Sad music in particular would help some believe it or not. I think because it helped me to understand that I wasn't alone. That someone somewhere is on the same level.

Anyway, I hope you find a little silver lining in your dark cloud somehow.