not sure where else to vent about this, as i can't talk to my irl friend about it and i know my boyfriend is sick of hearing about it.

i've been in recovery from a gnarly eating disorder for ~11 months now. i'd like to say i'm happy, and the truth is i know that i feel a lot better, but the weight gain and constant reminder of how skinny i was torments me often. it takes a lot out of me on a daily basis not to relapse. i have lots of support from my family, boyfriend (whom i live with), and a genuine close friend. but every day is still a struggle.

i recently rekindled a relationship with a girl that i had been friends with when i was like 13-15 (around the time i started to have disordered eating) who has also been battling an ED for years and has major ups and downs in her recovery. i had cut ties with her when i was younger because she was truthfully incredibly self-absorbed and never really cared about how i was doing, it was always about her and i got sick of it. i thought maybe that was just kid stuff and she'd outgrown it, she seemed like she really was trying to get her life together when we started talking again and i did miss her.

she had just split from her fiancé about a week before their wedding and had relapsed badly, i felt that it was only right of me to be there for her. but recently she's been doing nothing but sending me snapchats of her showing off her (no offense) emaciated body, and i feel as though its kind of really fucking insensitive of her. i had obviously confided in her how hard recovering was, and yet she clearly feels no remorse sending me these pictures and almost like rubbing my face in the fact that she's skinny and i'm not.

i'm just not sure what to do about it, i had really high hopes that things would be different this time around but i don't feel like it would be healthy of me to continue this any longer, but i'm also really bad with confrontation, and she's the type of person to fly off the handle and say extremely offensive and damaging things just to get her point across.

I can relate to where you're coming from. I've struggled with anorexia off and on since I was a teenager. I haven't starved myself in maybe 6 months or more now and I'm a lot healthier. Sounds like you already know what you have to do. I know it's difficult. I don't like confrontation either, but it's obvious she's hurting and it sounds like she wants to take you down with her. Hurt people tend to do that. Just tell her straight up that you don't think you can continue talking to her because you're recovering and her snapchats make you feel uncomfortable. I don't want to sound rude saying this, but don't let the way she chooses to respond get to you. Let her go off. She'll get over it and really she's only hurting herself. Those are her issues coming out and she's got to work on that herself. But what it boils down to is you taking responsibility for your happiness and wellbeing and she's not contributing positively to that.

She isn't entitled to a place in your life if she's actively encouraging that kind of self-harm.

Don't feel like you can't block her, cut her off, or even ghost her if confrontation is that bad for you and will lead to her actually flying off the handle and flipping out on you.

Your own happiness and health come first.

i'm really happy to hear that you've been doing well and staying healthy! i know how hard it is. i think she's gotten the point from my lack of response to any of her attempts to contact me outside of her snapchats. i'm very much considering blocking her, at this point i don't feel i owe her any type of explanation either.

Thank you! I think a big part of it came with age and maturity. I never believed people when I was younger that said you give less fucks as you get older. I still have confidence issues, but I'm able to recognize now that I'm healthy looking and proportionate. Before I looked like a bobble head -__- lol But yeah, you could also just block/ignore her. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation (I don't blame you), just stop responding. Plus, you said you already told her you don't like her sending you those photos. So I'm sure she'll know why. I mean she didn't have the decency to respect your wishes the first time you brought it up. She's being an asshole. :/ P.S. - Your HA is adorable! c: Feel free to mail or add me if you need someone to talk to and get your mind off stuff. Even if it's unrelated to this issue! ^^

I'm glad you're taking action to stop her from bringing you down. Be well!

oh absolutely, and i think that's what happened with me, as well as the people i surrounded myself with. i definitely have some confidence issues still too, but it is one of those things that i recognize that i'm healthy and i feel better than i have in a very long time. i looked weird too, and very like, sickly. and thank you!!! yours is too. i always just at the opportunity to make a new friend. :)

thank you!!

Me too! And I never listened to anybody that told me I was too thin. My dad was the one that finally made me take a look at myself. He's never been one to really say something about anything, so one night he asked "Do you want to get something to eat? Are you hungry? You're looking rather gaunt", I figured I should try to get better. Especially hearing the concern in his voice. Not only that, but I was hardly able to get out of bed or stand up anymore without nearly passing out. I had to call for help when I wanted to walk around my house. I'm a lot happier now, mentally and physically. I got a friend achievement when I accepted your request hahaha

i was the same way, i always thought i could stand to lose a little more. truthfully it wasn't until i started recovering and i finally looked at old pictures of myself. i was genuinely shocked at how tiny and, well, emaciated i was. i also had no energy. my hair was starting to fall out in chunks and i hadn't gotten my period in months (which looking back was both extremely concerning but kind of nice??)

i'm really, really happy that you're healthier now. and yay! glad i could be of service. :)