Hello! So uhm, I just had some really rough news at the end of a really really rough week. But I don't really want to talk about that because that just makes it worse right now - I really just want people to talk about stupid dumb things with or laugh about funny things that happened. Like, this morning my cat woke me up by kneading my face. I haven't trimmed his claws in a while so it hurt a bit, but he's also the literal cutest thing in the world so I can't even be mad at him. He just wanted to show me he loved me after all.

Hey I'll go ahead and embarrass myself. So long story short: on a late evening on a winter night, I was on a walk and found this poor, small dog. Looked like a shih-tzu. She was shivering so bad and I couldn't just leave her, so I picked her up and went door-to-door looking for her owner. I described where I found her as the house with the two yellow labs and literally every person I talked to what "oh, the annoying labs" (because they bark a ton and don't listen to their owners). Basically, I had no luck so retired for the night. Fast-forward to the next morning. I hung up signs mentioning a lost dog and got a call right after hanging the last sign. They described their dog, Jazzy, to me and it was a match. They met at my house to pick her up. These were two tall dudes by the way; maybe in their late 20's and definitely over 6 ft. tall. This dog was 14, partially blind and partially deaf. They asked where I found her and I said "In front of the house with the two annoying yellow labs." Normally I wouldn't say that to a stranger. It just sort of slipped because a bunch of neighbors described those two dogs as 'annoying' to me so it was sort of on my mind I guess? Their response: "Oh....those are our dogs."

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW HORRIBLE I FELT. I literally feel bad if I say the slightest thing that might hurt someone's feelings (like, 'I don't really like that shirt' if someone says they do like it). I felt like I was going to die. And then my dog started barking out the window and I was like "ahaha....my dog is annoying too if you can't tell." /failsave. Luckily they didn't seem to be mad at me...probably cause I found their dog...which ended up being right in front of the house that I didn't think would own the dog lol.

Hopefully my embarrassment can help you feel better ❤

Sure I'll contribute to the embarrassment.

There was a waterpark in Edinburg, Texas I went to once or twice as a kid. It's not there anymore, sadly, but I loved going there. Anyway my family and I were taking a short break and relaxing at the wavepool I liked to go into the deeper part of the pool with my cousin.

Suddenly I spot a strange looking pool toy I had never seen before, and nobody was around using it so I figured it was a lost toy. I still had no idea what it was so I grab it and swim back to my mom in the shallow part of the pool. It was soft and plush and had a string, unlike most pool toys I know of. I get back to my mom and present the toy and ask if she knew what it was. She immediately freaks out and slaps it right out of my hand. Not understanding her reaction I go back for the toy saying I'll turn it in to the lost and found. She grabs my arm and pulls me away from it saying it was an unused tampon and I shouldn't play with it. I ask what a tampon is and she just calls everyone back to go back to the water slides.

&

Thank you both so much for replying :D You did make me smile a bit. Thank you thank you.

UGH, I WILL NEVER LIVE THIS ONE DOWN

When I was around 13 I wore this cute black skirt to school. I went to the restroom. Came out. Walked in the single file line that every teacher stresses over. Got a tap on my shoulder..MY SKIRT WAS TUCKED INTO MY UNDERWEAR.

lol.

I work at a camp and there's this little 3 year old boy who has separation issues because his mom hangs around to much. So one day in art I brought him over to the drawing table to try and calm him down (he was sobbing). I drew a head and had him tell me what other parts she (the drawing) would need. We got to the end and the picture was looking pretty dang cool if I much say so. Girl had 3 hands. Super rad. So the drawing was finished, clothes and all, but I asked him if he thought the picture needed anything else. He said something really quietly but I thought I had heard him wrong, so I asked him if he could say that again. Turns out I had not misheard and the kid was in fact saying "penis," and then said it ten more times without me asking him too.

I work at a camp and there's this little 3 year old boy who has separation issues because his mom hangs around too much. So one day in art I brought him over to the drawing table to try and calm him down (he was sobbing). I drew a head and had him tell me what other parts she (the drawing) would need. We got to the end and the picture was looking pretty dang cool if I much say so. Girl had 3 hands. Super rad. So the drawing was finished, clothes and all, but I asked him if he thought the picture needed anything else. He said something really quietly but I thought I had heard him wrong, so I asked him if he could say that again. Turns out I had not misheard and the kid was in fact saying "penis," and then said it ten more times without me asking him too.

You're welcome! It's Aveture by the way.

due to the cheap costume price, i attended last year's halloween party as a shark - and somehow landed my first kiss in full shark attire.

this year i'm being a hot dog... i'm trying to build a reputation.

O: well now, it looks like I have my own silly story to add to the list now. At least Adventure is an inactive account so I didn't annoy anyone.

(And I later realized I typed your name wrong again in this post >.> I am just on a great roll here aren't I)

I HAVE to share this with someone:

I sometimes like to play the game "What is the wizard wearing today?" http://subeta.net/forums.php/gotopost/60572221

Well, today's entry I cracked myself up coming up with the comment: Private Outfit LETS ROB A BANK AND TAKE A HOSTAGE ALL WHILE NOT WEARING PANTS!!!

That clay figure and the ray gun together - priceless

A couple years back I was working as maintenance (read janitor) for a store and one of my duties was to go out at 3AM to get the carts in. No biggie, I loved buggie roundup was the highlight of my night...so anyway...I'm out there with my team getting the carts when this gaggle of teens comes out of the store all happy and upbeat. They're all high fiving and when they go to get in their car one of them yells as loud as he could "WE'RE GONNA HAVE GROUP SEX!!!" Needless to say I was amused (as was the cashier coming back in from her late lunch)

Here's my silly story....

Late one night I woke up to what sounded like a huge crash - in my sleepy state it sounded like someone kicking in our front door. I turn to my spouse and say "omg! Someone is breaking into our house. Quick give me the phone to call the police."

But they refused to give me the phone...

I kept getting angrier and angrier (while wrestling them for the phone) demanding they give me the phone so I could call 911 because "our very lives were in danger" ...until finally they blurted out

"There is NO intruder... That noise was me... I uhhh....farted.

Oh and it's after midnight so ... Happy Valentine's Day honey - smile?"

Took me awhile to calm down and realize I wasn't in danger but then I died laughing!

My friend told me this last weekend, he was getting in to his minivan when a guy in a Mustang gives him the usual flak. Just then my friend's choice girlfriend strolls up and gets in with him. My friend then snaps "Where's your bitch?", followed by his GF with the same comment. The other guy just drives off, alone... Ha!

Okay this isn't that silly, and I'm far from this graceful in dealing with all those turds as I was with this one, but it was pretty funny in the moment.

Every year I work as a dragon tamer at a local Harry Potter Festival. My boss works in special effects and a few years ago she got someone to teach her how to make lifesize baby dragon arm puppets to complete the illusion. Most people think it's amazing, and a lot of kids play along or even believe they're real, but there are always those little turds who immediately feel like they need to convince you that the dragon isn't real. Last year, I experienced a kid like that. After the initial poking the dragon's skin and teeth, he walked around and noticed that one of my arms was fake (because the real one is in the puppet), so he starts pulling the arm while yelling at me to confess that it's fake. I shoo him off, and instead of getting mad, I "come clean". I give it all the melodrama I have, as I explain that yes, this arm is indeed not real, as my real arm was chewed off by a Romanian Scaleback 8 years ago, and how terrible the accident had been for a dragon tamer such as myself, even though it was part of business. The kid however is determined to make me break character, and proceeds to attempt mockery as he grabs for the fake arm again, but I'm not having it because we didn't bring a replacement arm. I pull away and go: "I'd appreciate it if you left my fake arm alone, and I turn to his mom I'm sure your mom would also agree that it's not okay to make fun of disabled people." His mom smiles at me while nodding, and turns to him: "Yes, I think his mom agrees that it's not okay," and drags him off.

My own stupid story is...My first attempt at American football was also my last. In elementary school I ran the wrong way...I've hated sports since then.

I turn umbrellas into projectile objects. Maybe it's a weak grip or a curse, but two times in one year I opened umbrellas just to have them go shooting out of my hands. One time I nearly knocked a display over. Last time I handled one it wouldn't close- so I just walked around with it roughly held together with that strap thing...after spending an entire elevator ride trying to close it.

Let's see...last time I went to the ER it was to remove a ring that was cutting circulation off of my finger, and got stuck.

Oh, I had a cashier laughing from this one, after dropping the money she gave me I told her about my day. I started the day out with my shirt on backwards- but didn't know that until the last store. I forgot my check at home and realized it at the bank. Before that I had left my list at home. So I went home twice but didn't manage to notice my shirt issue then.

Me and my dad used to go fishing out back in the pond near our house. One time he caught a couple of fish and put them in a bucket full of water he was carrying, but halfway through walking home he tripped and spilled the water. He didn't want to walk back to the pond so apparently his first course of action was to take the can of beer he was drinking and fill the bucket with that.

I didn't have the heart to tell him how stupid of an idea that was, so I just reacted unsurprisingly when the fish had died from alcohol poisoning.

about a year ago, i was in a metalsmithing studio class. i was making a half-inch wide brass ring - not a RING ring, to be worn on the finger, but as a part of the piece i was making. it came out so pretty and round and perfect, after fighting with the solder and sanding and polishing, i was just so proud of it. so i stuck it on my ring finger, just for funsies, it looked like it would fit. it did not want to come off. i was kinda trying to hide my feverish attempts to remove it from my boyfriend who also took the class and our mutual friend who sat near us, but eventually realized i needed some help. i was teased mercilessly but i deserved it for my foolish decision. thankfully, after a lot of struggle and a little 3-in-1 oil, it came off, intact. about a week later i tied my hair into a knot around my thumb trying to put it up into a bun.

...I managed to blow up an entire microwave with a jar of peanut butter once.