So up until recently I've always always ALWAYS been the type of relationships should be 1 on 1 (which in all honesty works best for me because I'm so scatter brained keeping track of myself let alone more than one other person is tiring for me). However right now I find myself with a guy (that I work with but we have different days off and departments we work in) who is 10 years younger than I am and he has an on again off again girlfriend. I'm not with her in a romantic sense by any means, however I am there for her. He was the one who went after me and she actually encouraged him to go for it with me. Its more than friends with benefits but less than a relationship, more than lust but less than being in love. Overall its been by far the most peaceful situation I've been in. For the first time ever I don't have my usual jealous petty fights or getting butthurt so easily by some small off hand comment that might get made. I have the luxury of walking away from it when I want to and it really wouldn't hurt him. At least it's what he says. I would be a bit saddened that the closeness would end but not in a heartbreak sense.

It all started when back in April my bf at the time moved across to the other side of the country. It left me a mess and the guy I'm with invited me over to just be away from the situation for a bit. Strangely enough a week later his girl decided they were off and so in our comforting each other in heartache we just spent large amounts of time together and our thing developed. He himself stated he wouldn't mind being my rebound fling from when my bf left and has said over and over for what our situation is he's happy and considers himself fortunate that I have no plans to go seeking out the next bf for me any time soon. He even calls me his senpai because I'm the older one and makes jokes about how his senpai needs to notice him Lol. And because his gf has overall and final say of things I pass plans to do things through her. Its usually no issue there and the three of us have done a few things together like movies. Or we'll all sit and talk and it ends up being she and I talk for hours while he wonders if he's chopped liver Haha

He and I get along so well its almost like we're the same person. We love the same color, enjoy the same foods in nearly the same capacity, dislike the same things as well. Hell so far the few differences we have are EXTREMELY minor as in I LOOOOVE those frosted soft baked sugar cookies and he just sees them as a sugar overload and simply won't eat them. At this point we're almost convinced we're just the male and female parts of the same person because it's been two months and zero disagreements. We poke fun at each other over things that someone else might get butthurt that it's even brought up. Even our twisted humor side is similar...

He also treats me very well. In fact so well I finally see how I had accepted, excused And even tried to fix how I was mistreated in the past... At least until 6 months ago when one guy treated me half decent even if he handled a situation poorly... Still point stands this one has been very good to me. Almost like a comfort to my soul. He says he's boring but I maintain that as long as we can laugh and have fun together it doesn't matter.

Which leads me to what if over time we do fall in love? Is it considered bad even if the gf encourages it and is even happy I'm there with him when she can't be? Granted I have my guards up and don't intend to let them down and jump into it. I'm enjoying the peaceful casual thing we have. But as we all know love does blindside us. Should I stick it out and just enjoy it until I do find someone worth making my next bf?

I get he has some reservations about the age gap but it can't be all bad if he was the one to ask and go for it... And he says my soul is beautiful to him and that he doesn't feel ready to take on something like that. He's still young and drools over the menu options Haha however I can agree and see some of the life lessons he has yet to learn that only he can learn for himself. I'm also scared since this is the first time ever I've felt so at complete peace with someone but yet could walk away from the situation and just feel a bit sad... Usually the idea of leaving someone I'm intimate and get closer to terrifies me...

I guess I have some general confusions about this whole thing. Because overall in my life I never imagined being in anything like this let alone with someone 10 years younger!

From my understanding, the girlfriend is alright with it? Is she still dating him? I'm poly so this isn't new to me. I think you'll need to get a chat with he and her to lay down the boundaries and what's do and don't. If everyone is okay with it and if you feel comfortable doing so, then move forward. Ask the both of them what are they looking for in this relationship and what are you looking for as well?

Hun I thank you for your insight. However he and I talked about what he did the past couple days and I had to end it. But yea his gf knew and encouraged it because she knew I wasn't there to rock their boat or anything like that. I ended it because he started looking for more people without telling me, without considering me one bit or telling these people he even had a thing with me. He told them about his gf but not me. I let him have a new one on that because even I know in situations where there's multiple people involved you simply have to be open to them and talk about what you're doing as well as tell anyone new you might want to add on about who you're with and situation. Like if people get upset their partner brings home a new pet without talking I'm sure bringing in a new person so more upsetting without prior knowledge. I told him it doesn't matter how short or long lived anything is with anyone, he HAS to talk and be honest to both sides and give the full info so the person(s) can make their choices. I told him for whatever reason I am chill with him and his gf, but anyone else brings out my ugly side my insecurities and thus my bitchy protective side. I left him the option of picking me and his gf with no other options until I left or for him to pursue going on forbthe other options without me. He definitely wanted both Haha but I told him with me as far as I was considered its choice a or choice b and no matter what he wanted I would still be his friend. He chose b so I said in this case I'm out because I don't want those insecurities to be out all the time. I told him he needs to understand that there's going to be others who don't care he dates a lot and that there where be others like me where the current situation is all they can handle. And I get it he's young and wants to see what's out there and we knew our thing wasn't a forever situation. The fact it ended doesn't bother me, but what did was his sheer lack of consideration and talking to me about this other girl he started talking to and already in two days the conversations became sexual. That is a big no for me because it felt just as sneaky and underhanded as when my exes would talk to other girls late night and then lie to me. He did apologize to me for making me feel like that at least. But I told him for as shit as he is at communicating if he's going to have a multiple partnership thing he NEEDS to shape that up to avoid hurting someone like that again.