I don't even know where to start. This was just...so frustrating and so hurtful. I don't even know what to think about it or why I'm posting it, except that I'm at work with nothing to do so I'm thinking about it now.

Yesterday after work, my parents and I went out to dinner like we do sometimes. In the car we were talking and it was kind of half sunny/half raining outside, so we were looking for rainbows. We saw one - one of the ones that's really near the horizon so it's suuuuper wide and beautiful. Mom was trying to think of what it's called and I was joking and said "the gay pride symbol" because that's what it is, although she was talking about what meteorological term. And somehow we got on the topic of different sexualities and...partnerships I guess. I was explaining to her what pansexual and polyamorous meant and how I was totally okay with whatever someone wanted to do with their lives, however they felt, or whoever they love or chose to spend their lives with, as long as they weren't hurting anyone. I pointed out that I, personally, wasn't into any of it for myself. But she completely went off on me about how my opinion was wrong and how I felt was wrong and she couldn't believe she'd raised me so wrong. She said she was so disappointed in me and she couldn't believe I couldn't see how wrong I was. I was completely shocked. She knows my best friend is pansexual (and her boyfriend too) and she knows I'm for gay marriage (she previously said she was too, but I'm thinking she was just saying that) and she knows I'm a really open-minded free-spirit-type person. I thought she was proud of me for being my own person, for thinking for myself, but apparently I'm wrong and the way I think is evil. She actually said that. She said my opinions were wrong. I told her opinions can't be wrong because they're a person's own thoughts on how they feel about something - that isn't wrong, it's just the way it is. I told her I respect her right to have her own opinions on things and that I'd like that same respect back. She basically said no way. It's not like I'm a child either - I'm an adult. I couldn't believe the hurtful way she was talking and the things she was saying. I'd say it was out-of-character, but...maybe it isn't as she's said racist things before because that's how her father talked. I tried to talk to her later, after we'd both cooled down a bit, but she wouldn't talk about it. So I don't even know what to think now. I've been thinking about my own sexuality lately and how I might be bi or possibly pan, but hell if I can talk to her about it now, or ever for that matter, and I was just getting up the courage to think about doing so. I can't even talk to my bestie about this because my mom is basically her 2nd mom and she'd be crushed. Ugh.

tl;dr: Mom said some hurtful things about different sexualities/partnerships and about my belief in them as okay being wrong and evil and I'm floored as to what to think about it.

I retract my statement.

Maybe she only overreacted to when you started talking about polyamory. Im also kind of against it, especially raising a child that way in a community of many moms and many dads, its just plain weird, and most of the time those are poly cults where children are being abused, not to stereotype though. To me, the only people, at least that ive met, that are in poly relationships are confused, abused, manipulated people that are molded to believe they are happy that their boyfriend or girlfriend has 2 or more partners, only to come to me late at night about how jealous and crushed and anxious they are. Its probably because i am a very strict monogamist, so i kinda just dont get how someone can be "deeply in love" with more than one person, but who knows. There are people in this world that are very supportive of LBG rights but turn their noses up to stuff like polyamory and all these weird influx of tumblr genders, me being one of them. To me, its either youre a boy or a girl, and you like boys or girls, or both, or neither. I dont get why it has to be so complicated.

Y'missed two letters in LGBT+.

I'm with you though about Tumblr. I will never understand Xer/Xim/whatever else along those lines because it's like I'm supposed to understand what it is without ever having heard of it up until that very particular moment and people get irked at me for not knowing. When I've never heard of it.

I think I've told you this before but half of my family thinks that since I'm almost 28 and I'm still single and have no children that I'm a lesbian. So I know how that can feel rather well.

Thanks. I'm confused as to what the 'xer/xim/etc' means too. I feel like asking someone that, if they really want to spread knowledge, they should be happy to tell what it means, that they shouldn't go all apeshit and assume you're attacking them. I don't think it's a crime to want to know something, y'know?

As far as my mom goes, she's since calmed down a bit and apologized for blowing up at me. We talked about it again, and she basically said I was right. that she's just from a different generation and she knows she should be more accepting of differences that are more in the spotlight/more well known now than they were 'in her day'. I'm still not comfortable coming out, even though I'm 90% sure I'm bi.

Yes, but it's one of those things where... people just assume you should know it and get offended when you don't. It doesn't work like that...

Good, I was hardcore judging her for that blowup from here. Her generation's thinking needs to adapt to the 21st century, not the other way around. I came out as asexual to my parents several months ago and it's hardly changed anything other than, "You'll meet someone special!~"

You would think that parents would be happy you're not interested in sex, lol. Can I ask a question though? Are you interested in finding a partner if you're ace? Just without that other business, lol.

You would think.

I don't mind, it's a question I've been asked before. Being uninterested in sex =/= not wanting a partner. If one comes along that doesn't try and "fix" my asexuality, I'm all for it. c:

You know how my mom is lately and she's probably do the same thing your mom did. I told my mom that maybe "You should do things with other family members" she made a stupid "Wheww" sound, or if I say I'm coming over, she'll hang up on me. So, I pretty much feel alone. I've called for counseling services back in April and they haven't gotten back to me.

So honestly, I totally understand how you feel and I'm sorry she's not an open minded person. I'm for gay marriage or however else people choose to live their lives (love is love), but some people are just old fashioned. My mom still says it's my fault what happened to me in 2009 (I think I told you about that. We've been buddies for awhile).

If you need to talk, I'm here. I do work more shifts now (holy shit, I know), but I always come on for about an hour or two before bed.

X pronouns are just a gender-neutral pronoun, that's literally it. I'm a little vague on their origins, but they might be from an invented language - not a fictional one, but one people invented with the intention of creating an easy-to-learn universal language. I can never remember what it's called XD. I'm also faaaairly certain that they weren't even created with the QUILTBAG community in mind, but they have been excellent for non-bianary folk and other folk who would also like to just not have a gender associated with them. I like them to use for a fictional race that is non-binary...though in part because they have weird magic and Xie/xer/xim sounds weird and kind of just lends that to them XD And I only know what I do for literary purposes in the first place, not social sensibility :P

Related to OP -

:/ I always get really uncomfortable talking to my mom about this kind of stuff, too. We're both religious, but my religion puts a pretty heavy emphasis on agency, so my interpetation is that it's not my place to judge another person's choice. I mean, informing "my religion things X thing is sinful" miiiight be justifiable but I'm preeeetty sure everyone knows what Christian religions think so there's just not a point to it. I mean, if God gave us choice, I should friggun let you choose! ESPECIALLy if it has no bearing on anyone but yourself. But my mom certainly doesn't see it that way so it makes talking about the topic ugly. Even if I try the, "MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST BE COMPASSIONATE. YOU KNOW. LIKE OUR RELIGION TEACHES?" she has some justification or other why judging is better. I just. You can totally be religious or otherwise hold a moral standing that includes convictions that certain types of romance are wrong, and let it go when other people don't agree with you. You can think someone is making a wrong choice and be happy that they are happy, at least, and celebrate their happiness with them. You can say, "they know what I think is the truth," then remember that it's not our place to pass eternal judgement (ie worry about punishing sin or whatever) and just be a good friend. It drives me nuts people are too worried about what's RIIIIGHT!!! that they forget what's right - you know? And what's right is kindness, love, compassion to others. Always.

I'm glad your mom turned around! For some parents, they're just better off living the rest of their lives not knowing which or how many of your friends are lgbt+, it's just none of their business after demonstrating an inability to recognize that they're still human! And love is 100% a personal choice in every way.

same. And really, it's a sin to take it upon yourself to judge others! But some people chalk it up as a "lesser" sin to suit their agenda.

=_= yeah...ignoring something something "least degree [of sin]" something something. It's too bad that one of the people we worship never sat down, maybe on a mountain or something, and laid down a bunch of ideals of how we shoud be living, let alone labeling specific attributes as "blessed" perhaps? Then it would be so clear what we should be doing! IF ONLY.