Not sure that this topic has a clear problem or goal to be figured out... just sharing a bad feeling I struggle with.

Does anyone else ever look around themselves, at their life and accomplishments, what they do every day just to maintain a normal life, and just feel like carrying out your dream is like chipping away at a mountain with a spoon? That working for close to minimum wage year after year and saving little by little doesn't add up to much other than getting old. I try to keep personal projects going at home, but feel like that doesn't get me anywhere either. Still getting old. This feeling turns on and off from time to time. Is it because I measure out meaning in terms of monetary value too much? I know money isn't everything.

It may just be that I (as well as my family and the media around me) set way too high and unrealistic standards for myself when I was a kid that I quit trying to meet as a teenager. I feel all that freedom slipping away through fear of debt and poverty. I can go anywhere in the world, do anything, but I won't if that means I have to take time off work and pay for it, while tightening my belt trying to keep up with rent.

Like they say, "live a little," but how does one stop worrying enough to begin? I'd like to think I see things all wrong and that one simple but foreign concept or philosophy could change it all in my mind. Anyone?

- I can understand what you're feeling. I struggle to let go a bit and spend money, even for things I need like clothes. I think growing up in a household where money was very tight made me like this. My fiance has to constantly remind me that spending money is okay.

The big question is how much money do you have left over after you pay all your bills? If you take a look at how much you would have, you can start looking at what to do with the money. Yes, it's always good to save some money, but saving all of it is not good. Money loses value over time due to inflation.

You can start with buying something small. You could also go on a small weekend vacation. You don't need a big budget to have fun! Just take small steps to regain a sense of freedom. c:

Thanks for your thoughts. Money was tight in my family growing up too. My mom went way out of her way to spend as little as possible, buying only what was on sale and never spending more than $10 on any clothing. My parents started out with nothing. You're probably right in that money has a lot to do with the whole feeling. I've been told by someone close to me that I stress about it way too much. I guess it's the standard of security to me. How else do you prepare for anything and everything going wrong?

My problem is I'm barely saving as it is. After my monthly bills of rent, health insurance, college loans, phone, and bus pass, I have barely enough to feed myself on, let alone save money. I don't know how the rest of America does it.

- With low wage jobs, it's pretty much necessary to have two jobs in order to have enough to have a decent standard of living. There's also the people who are on government assistance.

What I've learned is to make due with what I have and make the most of it. Looking at what you have instead of what you don't have can make a big difference in how you view life. For the long term, you can always try to build a new skill that'll help you get a better paying job. I'm not sure if you have something like this nearby, but there's organizations that will help you gain those skills. Some might even pay for a certificate program!

With preparing for the worst, if your mind is prepared, then you'll be able to handle the situation better even if you don't have the money available.

Another way to think about things: Control your money. Don't let money control you.

Have you talked to the student loan people? When I was struggling, I was able to have my payment put down to $0 as a minimum so I could pay as I wanted.

Thanks for your words. It's been a while, but I think about them. Viewing things differently is still foreign to me but it's good to know there's a lot to learn that im not aware of (rather than feeling ive tried everything and that its hopeless).

I just got a storage unit which will be $50 a month. It gives me some peace of mind knowing Ill have to move soon but not when yet. However, I'm not sure talking on a new short term bill was the smartest idea. Oh well. :p

I think one thing that makes me stress about money is that I grew up learning to compare everything about myself to other people, and money is the one aspect that is invisible, incomparable, which everyone handles vastly differently. It really should be a lesson in being nosy I guess.

I haven't! I never knew that was an option. I have heard of people getting a graduated(?) loan repayment plan, which may or may not make life harder in the long run? I really learned nothing about my loans before I just started paying them.

Yeah, there's plans available for undergraduates too! If anything, you could try to get a smaller payment or a more flexible payment structure, then you can pay more if you want to or what you can afford that month. At least then you could put some money away or at least have a little extra cushion to spend on food or treating yourself. Paying nothing a month could make it harder in the long run, yes, but the peace of mind that you can be more flexible might help you relax about it more.

Most of us are imposed with unrealistic expectations growing up. This is meant to be positive thinking and encouragement of course, but it also has a major problem: most of us, no matter how hard we try, will never reach out biggest dreams. Part of happiness and serenity is accepting your lot in life. That's the golden middle way that people struggle to find: you can't just be a happy little bee drone toiling away never thinking about anything, but you can't be a Disney princess singing to animals about wanting so much more either. You gotta take a pinch of each.