Honestly, gravity is not my friend. Fat+huge boobs+weak ankles= the trifecta for eating shit. Constantly lol.

Walking up the stairs? Trip and fall. Walking down the stairs? Slip and fall. Walking in grass? Find the only hole and step in it and fall down. Waling into a concert venue when it's 115 out and not paying attention and stepping on a rock? Fall into the only mud puddle within a thousand mile radius. 7 months pregnant and walking dangerously close the the edge of the curb? You guessed it. That belly pulled me down faster than you can say 'oh shit'.

Anyways, the whole point is I have to share how epically I fell down yesterday, because honestly, it's like a monty python skit or something and deserves a laugh or three.

So, we're moving. Hubs has amassed a collection of crap from customers switching out fans and vanity lights and various shit that has been rotting in the garage for who knows how long. Trash day was today, so we went though everything and anything and began tossing whatever's not going to the new house. Now, we have these huge 60 or 80 gallon trashcans that weigh like 10 lbs on their own from the city. So, I'm trying to be helpful and wheel the first one out to the curb. Now, it's filled with fan motors, old spools of wire, general garbage and weighs a good 40 lbs. So just remember that.

Now, I'm 5 foot nothing, and this thing is filled with odd shaped items -like an entire bathroom light fixture- to where I can't close the lid. So already this is not working in my favor. It's like the letter A, but one leg weighs 40 lbs, and the other is a flimsy lid.

Ok. So, I'm wheeling it down the drive, taking baby steps and trying not to kick the lid, and hit the sidewalk. I slow down because the last bit down to the street is obviously steeper. I nudge it forward, and Idk what the hell happened, but it's like someone lit a rocket underneath it and it takes off. Well, I can't let go because it will fall directly onto my feet due to the angle, plus I don't want everything spilling all over, so I try with my weak ass arms to just hold on and somehow magically stop the inevitable.

I manage to hang on, and drop to my knees. Ok, no harm, no foul. Except there's some guy walking his dog like 10 feet from me and he's immediately like OMG ARE YOU OK and I'm just trying to laugh and brush it off while the trash can is precariously balancing on it's weak ass lid. And because the trashcan was made by the ACME factory or some shit, the lid gives out and it starts rolling forward again, and I still can't let go because I'm trying to save face and not have my trash everywhere. And as I'm falling in slow motion, assuring this guy that I'm fine, I'm slowly being pulled into the fucking trashcan.

Now he's on top of me trying to help me up and pick up the can, and my kids are running down the driveway like MOM OMG WHAT HAPPENED? and I'm just like, please kill me now. Thank god we are moving because I can never look this man in the eye ever again. He literally just watched me eat shit twice: once onto my knees, and once into a trashcan full of sharp objects. I laughed it off but really I was dying inside because falling is bad enough as it is. This was the kind of shit where he probably went home and was like, you are never going to believe what I just saw...

So, anywho, that's how I became actual trash yesterday. Amazingly, I had not a single scratch, but I have like 5 bruises forming, so I consider that a small victory.

Please tell me I'm not the only gravity challenged person in Subeta land XD

Not anymore, but I am prone to getting cut, bruised, small injuries. On a daily basis, it shows. Just today I got a small cut on both hands. But I let that go...if it makes me scarred, I like it.

Oh my god, no! Having people watch you eat pavement/trash (in your case, omg)/etc. is always the worst. Glad you were okay!

I remember going to a dog park (which I have fallen at a tragic amount of times), and I had two dogs with me. We had to go over a bit of cable fencing and one dog decided to go under, and the other over and I went backwards onto my ass -- and of course there was a guy walking by when it happened.

I also was picking up another two dogs, and I literally watched one of my dogs slip on a bit of ice and fall and then I literally went down right after him. A woman driving by was like, 'omg, are you okay?!' Thankfully I just had a bit of a bruised behind, but I was definitely extra careful to go around that bit when I took them home haha!

I laughed. Sorry! :P But I get it. Falling is one thing. Falling in front of people is a whole other thing!

I usually don't fall. I bump. Like, into everything. Doors. Walls. Tables and chairs especially. Today's example: meeting room at work. Chinese delegation with some big shots there. Colleague has trouble setting up the laptop and beamer and asks for my help (I'm a secretary, not a technician, but everyone calls me for all their technical help while I mostly just hit random buttons until stuff works). I stroll into the meeting room, pass behind the people to go for the laptop in the middle of the table, and bump into the heating attached to the wall. Which goes like "CLANG" and echos through the room. Head as red as a tomato, of course. My leg is already seeing red and purple. I pretty much always have a bruise somewhere. How many tubes of ointment against bruises I've used, I couldn't tell.

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry but I laughed! Only because I've been in similar situations myself and I know the feeling!

I'm very clumsy. For one, I can't "girl" well and lately I've been trying to wear wedges to work (which I never ever wear heels) and honestly I nearly fall just standing still. I carefully walk down the stairs to go to the restroom because I've almost fallen down the stairs multiple times. But I'm also wearing them as 'training' because I have slightly higher wedges I bought that I'll be wearing for my wedding so I need all the practice I can get lol.

Let's see. We recently moved ourselves. I was unable to take off of work the day we moved in because I'm still new at this job, but my fiance took off and was beginning to move stuff. I stopped by during working hours and our neighbor was outside, so I decided to introduce myself. Note, with it being working hours, I was still dressed up. In said wedges. I managed to step in the one hole in the whole front yard and I ate dirt, literally. The funny part is that he continues to reach down to give me a handshake even though I'm lying on the ground HE WAS COMPLETELY UNPHASED. I made a killer first impression that's for sure, and this dude is a retired guy lol.

The other scenario that comes to mind is when I was walking with my fiance, but this was like, days before we "officially" began dating so we weren't boyfriend/girlfriend yet. It was at night and we were leaving one store to walk to a strip of stores that wasn't too far away. We were walking in the parking lot and he asked me something, so I look up (he's like a foot taller than me) to answer him. But unfortunately there was a speed bump that I had no idea about. Basically I ate pavement is what I'm getting at and he still laughs about it to this day. Like, surely he set me up for it, right? He asked me something which made me naturally look at him to answer and then I fall. Thanks man.

haha your story reminds me of this click Slipping on ice is the one thing I haven't done, thankfully. Yay desert living!

laugh away lmao. I bump into stuff too. All the time. Bruises everywhere and I don't even know where half of them came from haha.

I can't wear heels either. I tried, and fell one too many times so I gave up. Obviously I can fall just fine on flat feet haha. But kudos to your neighbor for not making it weird. Totally hilarious that he was like just shake my hand!

And, yeah. I'm sure from now until forever, one of my kids or my husband is just gonna be like "hey remember when you fell into the trash?" I fell in the mud puddle, oh, 15-16 years ago. Still gets brought up lmao

I'm still imagining this in my head. :P

Also , I've given up on heels as well. My work is located into a medieval city centre, car-free zone. So cobblestones all around. Go sneakers!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!! I like the style of my wedges for work more than my pair of boring black pumps so that's mainly why I'm practicing. But I feel you, I'm 5'2" so I was wanting to give me some height for the wedding so I don't look so freaking short standing next to my 6'2" fiance lol.

I can imagine so! They're just going to add the trash story to their list of "Let's embarass Mom/my wife" stories lol.

I totally forgot one more story. When I was younger and had my first dog, Chili, before she passed away, I took her on a walk in the neighborhood. She randomly decided to make a hard left and stand right in the way and I literally tripped and fell over her. My legs were caught on her back still while the upper part of my body was down on the ground. And you know, that's exactly when four different cars decided to drive past us. Cool.

To this day, Chili was the reason why I can never go on a walk without looking down at the sidewalk in front of me. I can't enjoy the sights. My friends are like "why do you walk with your head down" and I'm like "does it really matter 'why'?" bahaha.

I am literally dying at the gif you posted. Oh how it matches up so well.

Yeaaa I need to dress business casual since I work at a bank. I'm totally a gym shoe kind-of-girl so it's rough lol. I walked to the post office yesterday since it's down the block from us and there's a random cobblestone sidewalk for whatever reason and I almost fell several times.

Accurate XD

I, too, always walk looking at the ground. I think it's something you just do when you can't see your feet because of your boobs/fall down a lot haha.