SOOO... my wedding is November 5th in eastern PA around 4pm. My problem is is that my photographer wants us to do first looks( which basically means that we would see each other and take pictures before we walk down the aisle). However, I DO NOT want to do first looks(which means he would see me for the first time as I am walking down the aisle) . I've had several people tell me to do first looks so I have more time for pictures.. time with family blah blah.. It means so much to me that he doesn't see me before walking down the aisle because it's the moments before I become his wife, to get that "reaction" as I am walking down the aisle, plus he gets to see me all prettied up in a beautiful white gown. And if I can get this (  click here ) burly boy to cry, that would make all of this worth while.

1. We are having a small wedding ~120 people
2. Not doing first looks is something I have wanted for as long as I can remember
3. I already know it's day light savings that day so it will get darker faster.
4. I have a small bridal party only 4 girls and my fiance has 4 boys. Basically I am looking to see how or if people changed their mind last minute, regretted doing first looks or not doing so, or have ideas how to take pictures together without seeing each other??

P.S.I'm really sorry about all the grammar errors or what ever but I am so upset that everyone is telling me to change something I have had my heart set on.. Please Ping me.

Aww you guys make a cute couple!

So I'm a bride-to-be as well (September 30th is our wedding date!) And truthfully, I'm stuck on the whole "first look or no" thing as well. My cousins didn't do it when they got married to their husbands. But above all, if you do not want to do a first look, then don't. It's your choice. (And, well, the groom as well! But typically I've found that the grooms don't really care all that much LOL).

Your photographer does make a good point though. It does get darker faster. What kind of ceremony are you having? Me personally, I'll probably be getting married around 5:30-6 (haven't decided) but the ceremony probably won't last more than 15 minutes. If you're having a ceremony that lasts a while then ehhh...you may risk it getting dark, if you're wanting to take outdoor pictures. Pictures do turn out rather well if it's still light outside, or sunset at the latest. I mean I'm not a photographer so I may be wrong!

Now keep in mind as well, I totally get the whole, you want your fiance to see you for the first time when you're walking down the aisle, all dressed up, etc. But during the first look, you'll probably get the same reaction. He's going to be impressed regardless of when he firsts see you, I'm sure. I've read from my own research that sometimes, the guy reacts equally as surprised during the ceremony even if they do the first look prior to it. It ultimately depends on the guy and his personality of how he's going to react.

I'M SORRY I'm probably of no help since I'm still engaged myself. But if it helps, I was first set on the whole "First look walking down the aisle" but now I'm kind of on the fence, which I did not expect to be. I also only have 4 girls and 4 guys for the wedding party, and we currently have a list of 140 that I sent Save-the-Dates to (we were expecting 125 but obviously we were wrong once we wrote the list lol).

It is quite helpful. My dad suggested doing the wedding earlier which I don't know why I haven't thought of.

Yeah that too! Weddings don't have to be towards the evening. I've personally only been to weddings in the evening, but people have them around afternoon as well!

And I mean, I've heard the whole "more time with family" as well but you still will spend a lot of time with the family. All four weddings I have been to, the bridal party took pictures after the ceremony. Although it does postpone when everyone gets to eat, I've found that personally as a guest, it gives me time to chat with friends and relatives. It's kind of hard to talk comfortably once the DJ gets started! But that's also just my personal opinion!

Ultimately we all simply have our preferences. Some insist on waiting to see each other at the ceremony, others are fine with a first look. I'm sure some regret doing first looks and others wish they would've done a first look due to timing. But if you're pretty set on doing it a certain way, I don't see why you should go with a first look when you already don't want to! (Unless if you start having a change of heart or something like that later!)

did you guys do first look photos?

We did first look photos. I personally wanted them because I am so anti traditional. We also had a mega small ceremony. Like 20 tops. We couldn't have the ceremony outside due to weather so no matter what he was gonna see me before I walked the aisle. Also Adrian is an ugly crier and so I wanted us to be all laughter and fun with it.

I had a very small wedding (55 people) and we didn't do any pictures before the ceremony. They hid me until it was time for me to walk down the aisle and it was so amazing him seeing me in all my makeup and dress for the first time walking down the aisle. I loved it and he had a hard time not crying.

Mind you true to form I made an ass of myself when my heels sank into the mud (outdoor wedding, didn't think it through wearing heels) and when I got almost at the alter slipped and had someone yell "take off your shoes!" Cause I could barely walk lol

Aside from THAT embarrassment, him seeing me walking down the aisle was perfect!

We had our wedding mid September at night, but we had plenty of time for photos :)

Our wedding though was incredibly low budget so we didn't hire a photographer we had family do it instead so it was more personal!

I really hope you can go with what YOU want because in the end what you and your fiancée want is MUCH more important than what anyone else wants. It's YOUR day.

I'm getting married just a few days before you so I'm going through all the "Should we or shouldn't we?" stuff right now. The first look photo stuff has come up and I've given a super hard "NO!". My wedding is going to be live streamed and my photographer is going to be taking pictures during the ceremony so there is really no point. I feel that "first looks" taken before the ceremony take a little of the emotion out of it for both my fiance and I. Even though it is an early evening wedding we will have plenty of lighting with all the torches, the large outdoor fireplace, candles, and our film/photo lighting that we already have on hand for our youtube channel.

If we didn't have all that though we'd probably be less adamant about not having first look photos though. My fiance is a total traditionalist (he's actually being more of a bridezilla than me), but if we're paying someone to take photos of our wedding we'd want one of the most emotional moments to be caught clearly. It really all depends on what you want and if outdoors, what nature allows you to do as far as lighting if you don't have access to lighting or don't want flash photography.

I was always told that seeing your partner all dolled up before you're married is bad luck. My photographer took photos of us in our separate rooms. I like the tradition of not seeing each other beforehand. I don't regret it at all.

We moved the time up for our wedding so my photographer is not as pushy now, but you guys are right it's my wedding I usually try to make it easier on everyone but i only want to do this once.

Awesome! I'm glad you were assertive about it. I hope it goes well!

Aww, you guys are so stinkin' cute! And as far as your photographer goes, tell him to stfu, it's your wedding, not his, lol.

I'll add in my 2 cents! This is what we did and it worked for us. Totally understand your reasons for not having a first look. ❤

At first I was positive I didn't want a first look and the first time he would see me in my dress would be when I walked down the aisle. I'm not sure when I changed my mind, but I'm so glad I did. It seriously made the entire day SO much smoother for us...and not just logistically, but emotionally. Our ceremony was at 11:00 am and we did all of our pictures before hand. I think we started first looks before 10:00. I was so freaking excited to see him (and for him to see me). When I touched his back and he turned around it was perfect. It was such a tender and special moment, and it was just us (and photographer of course). It really killed ALL of my jitters and after that moment I did not care if every single thing from then on out went wrong because I was already on cloud nine. Also, all the pictures from the first look are so special and awesome. Looking back now to having the first look, I'm not sure I could have handled (emotionally) all of that at once walking down and seeing each other for the first time. I still cried walking down and it didn't take anything special out of that moment.

I personally don't believe in all the superstitions and "bad luck if (fill in the blank)" type of things. I would just consider your options and pick the best one for you and your fiance. Whichever you decide will be the right one!

You could always do the picture of the two of you together where you are separated by a door (wall, back to back, etc.) and hold hands so there is a picture of you two "together" before the ceremony. It will still be special because you will be hidden and the aisle will be the first time he sees you, but can also convey some of the emotions that first looks can bring.

I will say, walking back down the aisle together after it's over may be even more exciting. We were cheesing so hard, everyone was cheering, and we got an awesome high five picture with my husband and a young cousin.

Edit P.S. Thinking logistically from a photography standpoint, if you want pictures of your fiance with his reaction AND pictures of you walking down the aisle make sure your photographer is able to do this because it may take more than one person. Some photographers have backup for reasons such as this. Not sure what yours will do but something important to think about if you want shots of both angles!