I've lived all of my life being "different" and no one accepting me. It's been a painful road, and I had no idea what it could have been until a few years ago, where a hiring manager suggested I had Asperger's. I looked into it, and it sounded like me. But, I didn't want to give others more reasons to hate me.

I'm 25, and I'm struggling with how to move forward. I exhibit so many of the traits of Asperger's that it's so obvious I have it. I have problems going out due to crowds and sensory overload. My interests change constantly, and it's not like I can get multiple college degrees. I want to be able to do art again without worrying about it not being productive. I want to keep friends and not hide from them so frequently.

So, what I'm thinking is I need an official diagnosis. But, I'm concerned a formal diagnosis is going to lead me having to take medication (which I'm traumatized from pills due to almost dying from Serotonin Syndrome) or being open to discrimination with jobs and other places. I'm also concerned no doctor will take me seriously as I'm an adult and that it'll be expensive.

Can anyone who has Asperger's or knows someone who does give me some insight? What should I do?

I first want to mention that my brother has autism. I am not exactly sure where he falls on the spectrum, but it is more severe than Asperger's. He's nonverbal, highly routine-based, and highly dependent among others (he's unable to brush his teeth by himself, read, and pick out clothes to wear--just to give you an idea.) I also have a friend who was diagnosed with Asperger's when she was about 20 years old. She was in a similar situation as you, only she was actually diagnosed by a doctor. I forget exactly how it went down since this was a few years ago, but she is also visually impaired and was getting MRIs done when the doctor diagnosed her. She also looked into it after the fact and realized that she was checking off a lot of things on the list that relate to her as well.

In terms of medication, my brother does take it, but mainly for his tantrums. He can go from calm to absolutely furious in a matter of seconds, if one thing does not go his way or something is out of place. For my friend, she does not take medication. At least, she didn't while I roomed with her for a year in college (and she was diagnosed early in the school year.)

For what you should do, that's totally up to you. If you think a formal diagnosis would give you peace of mind, I'd suggest looking into it. In terms of disclosure, unfortunately people react in different ways. In some cases, it'll be a help. Your friends can learn about Asperger's and help you. Your true friends won't leave you just because you have Asperger's. I can't say I know for sure, but I imagine it could get hairy with the workplace. They're not supposed to discriminate but sometimes it just feels unavoidable. Every scenario is different, it seems.

But ultimately, there will be employees, co-workers, friends and peers that will still support you and like you for who you are.

I hope this helps!

Both my father and I have Asperger's. Neither of us are on medication for it. It solely depends on the person and I doubt you'd have to take medicine for it unless it's like super severe/incapacitating your every day life. People can't deny you jobs on premise of it since it falls into the autism spectrum now, not to mention you can have it completely secret too and no one can tell anyone else any different.

If it would give you peace of mind to get a diagnosis, then you could get one. The doctor may tell you to take medication and might even put pressure on you to do it, but it is ILLEGAL to force you to take medication. You can refuse the drugs and refuse further appointments. I just want you to know your rights: You have the right to choose NOT to take medication, and you don't need to justify it to the doctor either. It's a choice that you have the freedom to make, please don't let any doctor coerce you into taking meds if you don't want to.

There are plenty of adults who go to the doctor to talk about Aspergers or autism... It's not uncommon or wrong for people to get diagnosed as an adult. So if you run into a doctor who doesn't take you seriously because of your age, they're not a good doctor. Unfortunately I've run into plenty of medical professionals who are problematic in ways like this. But at the least I can tell you that they're completely in the wrong, and that you'd be justified in looking for a different doctor if that happens.

As for the career discrimination - That is a very real thing, BUT due to privacy laws, you do not need to disclose your diagnosis to your employer. You don't have to even mention it, and it is illegal for them to ask. Your employer has no right to ask you for private healthcare information, such as what diagnoses you have, what medicine you may be on, etc. If you want to mention it because it affects your work, it's fine to say that you have "health problems" and leave it at that. Know your rights: You do not need to share any more than you want to share, and if your employee tries to pressure you into sharing more, that is illegal and you can report him. I live in the USA (I forget if you're here too) but you can look up the laws in your area to find out more, like how to make such a report if it's necessary.

Finally, I just want to say - having a diagnosis could give you peace of mind, and there's a lot of other pros to having a diagnosis of course. But generally the point of getting a diagnosis, from the doctor's perspective, is so the doctor can use the diagnosis to prescribe treatment. The end goal (for most medical things) is to solve the problem - the diagnosis is a tool to help doctors know what solutions will work. So if you just want a diagnosis but don't want treatment (medication, therapy, etc) you have to figure out why it is that you feel you need a formal diagnosis. What will the diagnosis do for you? Answering that will help you know whether it's necessary to spend time and money on a doctor appointment, or whether it would be fine for you to self-diagnose. (I consider that to be a just-as-valid option - and remember, you don't need to disclose that you're self-diagnosed if you go that route.)

In general, remember that you have the right to privacy when it comes to these things. There are laws that protect you from having to share any of that information, so be as vague as possible and share as little as you can (thats my personal advice). Good luck!

There is no cure for the disorder, and therefore all you can do is learn how to live with it. I am mildly affected by it, and that's not all bad. I would just suggest you talk with someone on how you can get through your life and your job/career with it. For some, it's a curse with the whole social isolation and difficulty with subtext, but for others, it's somewhat of a blessing because people who have it have laser focused interests and want to learn everything about what they're interested in. I also know from having it and my half brother who's more affected, there's no masking how one feels about things or pretending to like things. That leads to the social isolation though. It's about making life comfortable, not throwing pills at it, until we see Elvis in our refrigerator.... Not near my ice cubes please? I put those in my drink.

Thank you for the responses. Every bit of info helps me. I'm also sorry if my responses are kind of gibberish... I'm kind of sleepy writing this.

- Yeah, I'm thinking a formal evaluation will give me peace of mind. But, I'm hesitant on going to yet another therapist. I don't think I need any medication (I'm pretty well behaved), and I would not go that route. But, I'm struggling with life, so I might need therapy... It's a hard decision.

As for work, I have masked myself pretty well before, but it takes a huge toll on me. I don't know if I can mask myself again when I get another job (I'm currently unemployed). But, I guess if an employer can't accept me for who I am, they're not worth working for. I also know my few friends won't leave me.

- I'm in the US. It's true that I don't need an official diagnosis, but I'm not sure how I would go about teaching myself the skills I need. Though, I've gotten tired of going through therapist after therapist for other things. But, I should probably try because all I know is I'm getting worse. Even my fiance notices I've shut down recently.

- I love how vivid my imagination is, my attention to detail with artsy things, and being able to be laser focused on something interesting. But, the social problems do bother me greatly. I don't want to become a social butterfly... just be able to keep my close friends. And yeah, I've had to pretend to be someone else just to function in my previous jobs. It's very difficult to live in a society where I'm expected to be everything I'm not.

Yeah, what I was saying was that a diagnosis is useful for things like getting treatment. If you're interested in getting professional treatment, like via therapy, then getting a diagnosis is probably a good idea.

But if you're wanting to learn skills without going to therapy, it is still possible. You have to identify what skills you're lacking, though - or rather, identify what specific problems you are facing. Then, the internet is actually a really great resource for getting free help on how to work on skills to address those problems.

If you want to talk about what specific things you think you need help with, I could try to help - but of course, I don't want you to feel any pressure to talk about that stuff if you're not comfortable with it.

The social part is where you and I differ. While I have a few close friends, I don't feel that need as much as you do. I'd rather have my time for my interests and family/friends I already have. Sure in the world for jobs/careers we have to do some pretending, but everyone does a little. We just have to do so a little more. Talking to a therapist and getting a formal diagnosis isn't needed, but with that, you and your therapist, if you have one, can work on skills that could benefit your life and ease the burden a little. They're trained for us nuts lol!

My boyfriend has Asperger Syndrome and we been together about 5-6 years. He found out early in life and his parents made sure he had a bunch of speech therapy growing up. This helped him a lot with being around other people and I don't think he's ever been on medication for it.

You could try finding a support group or try getting into therapy. But I wouldn't be afraid of getting an official diagnosis. Your health records should be private and you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. Don't let being afraid of what other people may think stop you from seeing a doctor about it.

Edited

- I didn't see this post earlier, I'm sorry. D:

- I like the idea of looking at my traits as a positive thing. It's a hard thing to do when my traits are seen as negative and like I'm a terrible, cold person.

I might have more to write later, but I'm not fully with it today. So tired. @-@

Thank you for the happy birthday~ c:

Edited