I used to have very strict parents. I am 21 now... but, I feel as though I had more "connection" when I was younger. I would go to my grandparent's and play Neopets for hours... seriously - - once I stayed up for 72 days playing during a school break. It was the only time I was able to talk to other people and it really helped me learn a bunch of useful information about the world at a very young age.

Moving forward, I feel really alone. There are a few people IRL I could talk to, but they are kinda not really friends that have my best interest at heart. I don't even have friends online anymore, either.

I've had to experience some pretty trying things recently (but I feel as though I've been struggling since adolescence) and no one to speak with or to process my thoughts. I am embarrassed to even be posting this, but a part of me reminds the other that there are actually very caring people here. I have been withdrawing from social media, (and from some responsibilities since there is little energy for me) and while it has helped FOMO a bit I still am reminded that no one texts me or calls me often (unless they need/want something.) Part of me wants to shut everyone out, but here I am word-vomitting all over an invisible audience hoping for some kind words. How do you even make friends?

I just wanna be myself. Thanks for reading. How do I handle this better? How do I start waking up earlier and taking care of myself with no support system?

Hiya! First off I am very sorry to here you dont really have a shoulder to lean on. I really believe everyone NEEDS someone... even if its one person, its hard to handle the real world and lifes shitty deals by yourself.

As we get older its easy to lose the "friends" we once had in school and throughout teenage years. Online is a very good place to meet nice people, esp on here! When I worked all the time the only people I chatted with was co-workers :x Lost touch with RL friends I had left from being too busy. but im still making it, thanks to lots of lovely people on here and Subeta!

You should be proud that you are in school! Thats a great step in the right direction. Better than me. I never went to college :x

I am not really sure if there is a perfect "fix" to this situation, but making friends and setting little goals for yourself could be a great start!!! Life totally has its up and downs, seems like more downs.... but stay strong!

Quick side note, I used to play neopets non stop back in the day LOL

Hello. First off, I'd like to say that I'm happy you're reaching out and aware of what is going on. I'll also salute your courage about your past pregnancy and the hard decision you've taken.

Have you ever tried to see a social worker or a therapist? You can reach out to them if you have a doctor, a councelor at school etc. Definitely take a look around because school are usually hiring social workers (and they can direct you to more ressources!)

It's okay to have anxiety and depression. I mean, it's very awkward to activate the sensors at the library ... I feel you! However, you really need to turn these books in to avoid a further fine. What type of things are calming you? Per instance, I use music to literally walk around life. You could use something of the sort to get by.

Baby steps and patience! One day at a time c:

I am so sorry to hear you went through all that. I know how you feel about not feeling like you have anyone to talk to. I've had so many issues over the past 6-8 months and I still have no friends or anyone who I can talk to to sort any of my issues out or just have someone's shoulder to cry on. I wish I could say something more useful and supportive. I'm not really good at socializing but I wanted to just chime in and let you know that I too can understand.

Update: I finally turned that book in. I did a month and a half ago.

I am glad you said that, because sometimes I feel very weak for these desires. I suppose I am human, after all. :>

Also - - high five Neopets destroyed my innocence hahahaha

I had a therapist while I was with child, but then I stopped going once my disability was approved... I was just so plump and it was so hot outside. Now, it's been almost 2 years and I messaged her the other day... sadly, she isn't taking new patients. I am a secular person in a very religious community, and it is difficult to find the help I need. I simply couldn't handle being told to "give it to god."

Lately, I have been really hating my music. Nothing sounds good anymore. It's either riddled with memories (which used to be what I craved) or suddenly sounds so opposite of my interests. I don't even know where to look for new music. I have Spotify but it really takes a lot of digging to find something I enjoy... then, I listen to it on repeat and have about 5-6 songs I will listen to on a regular basis. Perhaps you have some songs to share?

I am going to message you. <3

I, too, was basically addicted to Neopets during my teenage years. I didnt have many friends. I was bullied a lot. I was a weird kid. So, it was my safe haven, essentially. So, when I stopped playing and had to actually interact with human beings irl, it was hard. All I had were my coworkers, who I considered to be close to me. But, when I left that job, the reality smacked me that we weren't really friends. Because they never include me in anything anymore. Kinda like how you were friends with people in school because you saw them everyday. So it hurt, a lot. At my new job, I definitely keep everyone at an arms length. Even a year and some change later. I have a small group of friends, but I rarely hear from them unless I reach out first. So I kinda relate to what youre going through.

To me, it sounds like we both experience similar things. I have generalized anxiety and chronic depression, which is garbage because I am a bartender that travels the country opening new restaurants. The whole sleeping all the time, and avoiding responsibilities are something I am notorious for doing. And it makes me feel guilty, but I also remind myself that it isn't my fault. I would look into maybe starting a hobby, if you can. For me, I found exploring cooking more helps alleviate some of the constant ... noise in my head, especially if you feel like you have nobody to talk to. I'm not good at it but it feels nice to be able to do something for myself, and my health.

If you ever want to talk, please know my inbox is always open. ❤

I've lived in isolation for near thirty years. Any contact has been only through school. The only person who I dare call friend made the first move. This was ten years ago, during my failed college stint.

All these years I've seen life happen, I'm the only bachelor in my entire family that's old enough not to be. I've buried those feelings, no showing vulnerability to the enemy.

Whatever my purpose is...it can't just be this.

I'm going to regret this...

My grandfather lives with me, so I am around another human being every day. It is a weird relationship, not biological, and sometimes obligatory (on my end.)

I don't have much else for a family. A few estranged cousins. I take comfort in knowing I need not explain myself. I, too, bury many feelings.

Maybe I share in the same sentiment, as it is typically difficult for me to initiate a friendship. I secretly think everyone hates me, truly. Then, I think that is too much of a conceited notion and it is really more that people don't think of me at all.

I am definitely feeling volumes more numb about everything in comparison to four months ago when I curated this post. Haha, mania.

I received an anonymous gift, the message "not all are the enemy". My only enemy is whoever thinks they complete me. I'll find a way to be happy, without that.

My family and friend count on me at appropriate times. That is fair.

Loneliness isn't cured like a snakebite.

I always thought it peculiar to allude that "true love" is when one being "completes" another. I figure a successful relation is only a supplement. I don't know if I will ever be happy committing my life to another. I dream of a life dedicating my life to research.

Anonymous gifts are nice, but they always confuse me. Well, I have only received two and they both left me wondering "who could it have been?" I didn't care much for the feeling but appreciated the gift. Hopefully yours was nice.

I really have just found better ways of distracting myself lately, I suppose.

It doesn't help growing in a culture that equates family to success. I'm more a failure having none over all my sibling's mistakes.

"No I haven't, why does it matter?" has been the answer to questions starting with "Have you ever..." What's the rush? I'm not even trying, not now...

I wonder what it means to be successful