I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years or so, living with him the last 3-4 years and while everything was going fine, I've noticed the last 6 months or so that I've noticed a gradual decline in how I feel about him. I used to get super happy when he'd text me while I was at work or while we were apart, now it kinda bugs me as does some of the other stuff I used to find endearing. However, some of the stuff he says when he's mad hurts, even if he says he means it as more of a reminder. About a month or so ago I noticed I didn't feel as attracted to him in a romantic way as I had, but more like a really really close friend and I feel that's part of the reason why even our sex life has gone downhill as well.

He however is still very much in love with me and still feels I'm best thing that's ever happened to him, and still sees us being together for the rest of our lives. I talked to several people from my mom, to my friends, and they say if I don't love him romantically anymore, I should leave. Currently, there are plans in the works for my mom to come get me if I decide to go ahead and leave him, and take me back to my home state. (I moved cross country to be with him.) However, I feel bad thinking about this, cause I dunno if it's just me going through a phase, if I'm just beyond annoyed with some of his habits/quirks/ect. He's a wonderful guy, and I'd hate to hurt him if I'm just going through a phase or whatever, but I also don't want to stay if all I'm gonna do is make us both miserable because I don't feel the same as him. I get frustrated/with with him easily sometimes, but I don't know if it's actually due to him doing something frustrating/infuriating or if it's more my ODD* interfering with my life.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure I can just sit down and talk to him about this, as he has a very hot temper and I'd imagine bringing it up would only cause a fight.

Also, if I do go through with leaving him, how should I tell him ? I can't just write him a letter to find, but I don't think I can tell him face to face. (I don't like confrontation.) Or should I just wait til we end up arguing again (we tend to argue at least once or twice every week-two weeks.) and just tell him I'm done then ?

Feel free to ask questions if you need more info or something's not very clear. I tend to ramble sometimes.

*Oppositional Defiance Disorder

What do you mean by he has a hot temper? If you're afraid to bring up issues because it could turn into a fight, it doesn't sound like healthy relationship. Are you afraid of him or feel like you're sometimes walking on eggshells when you're together?

Very much backing what said. If it's not like that, you should still maybe just try taking a break from him to clear your head (not necessarily an "official" break, more like vacation from him ya kno). Go visit your mom for a while if possible. If you find that you still don't miss him, you can consider breaking it off. If you find that you do miss him, ask yourself, what can I do to rekindle the romance? what can we do together to make it more interesting? Once you then have some good ideas, communicate with him. Nothing can happen without communicating, because he'll keep doing the same stuff without realising that you find it annoying. Let him know that you need it to spice up.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling, it's pretty late for me.

Regardless of his feelings for you, if you're not able to return them anymore, it's best to end it when you can so you can both work on healing and moving on to something better. But the fighting a lot sounds unhealthy, and being scared to leave a relationship is no way to be. I dated a guy for 3 years and I had a big step coming up in my life and I realized that I didn't really want him there in my future - kind of for the same reasons as you. Everything that I used to find cute and funny about him turned into annoyance, to the point where I was embarrassed to be out with him in public around anyone but his friends. I actually had tried breaking up with him a few times but he would cry and talk me out of it. When I finally got out of that relationship it was the biggest relief ever, and it turns out there was a lot going on with him that he kept from me.

I don't really have any suggestions for the confrontation, but I think it would be best if you tried to bring it up to him in person as soon as you can, without the fight.

Do you have a friends house you can stay with there? Just incase the fight (assuming that conversation would turn into a fight) gets to be too much and you want to leave.

I also believe that maybe a little time away from him would do you some good? Stay with friends, visit your family without him, etc. Gauge how happy you are without him for a certain amount of time, clear you head.

But I also understand the feeling. I was with someone for 2 years, and about a year in I started disliking thing about him I thought were cute before. Everything he did started getting on my nerves, ranging from how clingy he was at times to what we talked about. I stayed in the relationship for another year, and it was one of the unhappiest times of my life. I stayed because I believed I was supposed to still be in love with him. As it turns out, a lot of it was about how truly incompatible our desired futures were, and they just manifested into me being annoyed at every little thing. He wanted children, I do not. He cared about waiting until marriage for sex, I was a non-virgin and he made me feel horrible about it all the time. He wanted to pursue a Youtube/Streaming Gaming career, and I needed to be with someone with a reliable job, etc etc. I don't know if that helps? Maybe there's some deep incompatibilities between you and your partner as well?

But man, this sucks. No matter what it's going to hurt; but one is a slow burn in a relationship you may not want anymore which could turn into a significant amount of animosity, and one is a quick one where you can heal separately.