I'm very introverted and this honestly kind of scares me, but I don't go out anywhere really, and I'm tired of being alone. I want a relationship. I've been on dating sites before, but I was too chicken to message anyone. I think I might try a pay site (maybe eharmony?), because maybe paying will help weed out any wierdos/those only in it for a quick hook-up. I'm definitely not a teenager anymore, lol, so I should know how to figure these things out on my own, but adulting just isn't easy, you know? It doesn't help that I'm sociophobic and have an anxiety disorder. :/

What is a turn-on/turn-off for you on a profile? What makes you message that guy/girl or what stops you? What do you think should be/should not be mentioned on a profile? What site/s do you like/dislike? Anything that's a definite no-no on these sites? Anything I should make sure to do/not do? I don't know...just...online dating advice in general?

-Looks are usually the first thing to pull you in, you see their profile picture of a nice smile or maybe their face is just how you like, then further on I'd go and view their profile to see if we have similar interest. -Shorter is better imo. You don't wanna drone on about one topic, so let's say what you do in your off time: I love taking my dog for a walk, watching movies and trying new recipes. Don't mention anything super personal, like where you attend college. Simply saying what major you study is good. Focus on the positive and be confident. You don't have to tell them everything about who you are, just what you really admire/feel most passionate. -I've never tried online dating, but I used to use Meetme to meet friends and I'd say avoid this place like the plague. It's only hook ups, disgusting men and fake profiles. -If you have any opposite sex friends you are willing to share it with, send them a draft of your bio to see if they can give you pointers. -Some advise once you do start getting to talk to these people, always always ask for a photo of them that's recent. Google search them ALWAYS. Even if they send a lot of convincing photos they could be cat-fishing you. Once you get along enough try skyping with each other, even if it's voice chat. It will kinda of show you a preview of what it could be like irl, or if you go straight to meeting irl then make sure on the first meet that it's in a PUBLIC place. Safety first, a place with other people or cameras.

sorry if I sound like a worried mother lol.

Having good, well-lit and up-to-date photos are always good. I have had a few online dates that were... not what I was expecting. Someone's photos are always what intrigued me the most at first, but I'd creep their profile too. Photos of you with animals are always a good conversation piece.

Try not to have a wall of text about things you like/dislike/etc. no one is going to read it, haha! A witty, or humourous profile is always a good way to bring people in. Also saying the cliche, 'I like being active and outdoors' is super over-rated on those sites, imo.

Prepare yourself for a lot of weird people. I have been fortunate to not have anything super offensive or whatever, but I have definitely had my fair share of strange guys message me. You will also figure out almost immediately who is just wanting to hook-up and who is actually wanting something more.

The best site I've been on is okcupid. It feels the least creepy for me. It kind of depends on what people are using in your area though.

I'm kind of just assuming you're a gal, so if I'm wrong I'm a dick and you can ignore these next two paragraphs. If you're a gal looking for a guy, you can probably just sit back and relax. You'll probably get a LOT of messages without having to message anyone first. The quality of these messages might suck though. Do not be afraid to block people. No interested? Block. Conversation gets boring? Block. It sounds mean but guys on dating sites can be aggressive. Like you don't respond for a few hours and they start insulting you sometimes, ye know? So really, don't think you owe it to anyone to respond. If you're not interested just block them and move on.

If you're a gal looking for other gals, you're probably going to have a harder time. Messaging people first sucks, and sometimes they just don't respond.... But, you have to try. I think a good message is something short, but more than just a "Hi". Like give them something they can respond to. Something like "Hey, you're dog is really cute! What's his name?" or mention a mutual interest or something!

Being direct in your profile is good too. If you're not looking for hookups make sure you state what you are looking for. Usually theres an option to select what you're interested in. This way you get less people trying to hook up with you.

Oh and the thing about pay sites is... A lot of people that are willing to pay have already exhausted the free sites. So it doesn't really weed out the creeps.

The more pictures you post the better. I don't know if you care to do this, but I always liked to use pictures that weren't posted on social media or anywhere else. I've had people reverse image search me and find my facebook and it made me really uncomfortable!

Anyways, good luck! Online dating is really intimidating but meeting someone under the pretence that you're both looking for a relationship makes it a lot easier.

I have to second about Okcupid. I have been on there for many years. Sometimes I can get a vibe from reading profiles and I know that that person isn't right for me. I'm exactly the same as you . I'm extremely introvert.

I have about 5+ years of experience with online dating. I can promise you that putting money into the dating service will most likely leave you bitter. Myself and my BFF have used match and eharmony. In 5 months I talked to 3 guys on match and those convos didn't go very far. I canceled eharmony within 2 weeks. Mainly because there seemed to be NO guys in my area. I don't mean to discourage you from trying! I found he love of my life on pleantyoffish without spending a dime. Okcupid found me my first ever boyfriend haha!

The best couple pieces of advice that I can give you are fairly simple. Be VERY picky. If you're looking for something serious, you need to weed out the guys/girls that just want to "meet you for a night". And by picky I mean that when you're reading someone's profile look for things you guys actually have in common. Your core values, do they share them? If you've been talking to someone for a while and you get along/you like them, then share phone numbers and text, maybe video chat, small steps. Don't let too much time pass by before meeting them in person, though - a lot of people want someone they can touch and physically see before they make a real connection.

I wish you the best of luck!

Good quality pictures are everything. If you don't have any photos you really love, take some new ones or have a friend take some of you. People are going to notice you based on looks first- sounds shallow but that tends to be the nature of online dating unfortunately since they just see your face and a description, they can't hear you, talk with you, etc.

When you go on a date always meet in a public place like a coffee shop, restaurant, bar, something like that where there's lots of other people around. Personally when I meet someone for the first time I text a friend the address of the place or drop a pin to share my location. Sometimes I'll text them something like "if I don't text you in 2~ hours call me". Sounds a little over the top but it's better safe than sorry, especially if you're going to a different city or somewhere you've never been before.

Also I agree with anyone who said be picky. Get a bad vibe from someone? Ditch them. Don't like the way someone is talking to you? Unmatch/block/whatever. It sounds harsh but I second everyone who said sometimes sites attract the wrong types of people and guys can get ultra persistent.

On a positive note I've only used Tinder which people say is notorious for hookups, etc. but I dated someone for around 2 1/2 years or so that I met on there, so it's definitely not impossible. A lot of my friends have met their long-term SO on there too. Just go with your gut feeling on people and you should be fine! (:

What is a turn-on/turn-off for you on a profile? I hate it when they don't have anything in their profile. I don't care how good looking they are.

What makes you message that guy/girl or what stops you? I message them if it looks like we have something in common. You are meeting this person out of the blue (Not through a friend, work, or school) and you need something to talk about.

What site/s do you like/dislike? Tinder isn't bad, just because I live in a rural area and a lot of other sites aren't used. I just state on my profile that I'm not looking for hookups (Unless that is your thing). I HATE the layout of POF where just anyone can message you. okCupid isn't bad if you want to write a bit more about yourself than the limited tinder. oKCupid isn't a bad choice for introverts.

Something that I LOVE is when a person puts pictures that show their hobbies/passions. For example. I have few pictures Me hugging a pet Me hiking Me at a comic convention random selfies at different angles.

That way the person has something to talk about.

Things I hate is when people message you and only say "Hello" or "You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen." . I'd much rather them say something like "Wow! I see you like hiking, me too! Where is that at?" or "I see you went to comic con! Did you dress up?" pickup lines aren't bad...they are funny sometimes.

There is nothing i hate more than those people who just have the same bathroom selfie at different angles. Make it interesting. Of coarse you want pictures of your face and try not to have group shots (i hate those) if you can help it. Say you like your pet rat. Take a selfie with her. Say you love cooking, have someone take a picture of you cooking. Stand out. Make yourself unique. Everyone has the ability to if they would put that extra spark in their profile.

~~

Also when meeting the person. Do it in a public place. You do not know this person...they could be someone completely different.

Eek...I didn't know this was necroed.