Ok! So...I have never ever posted on this forum before let alone actually go on the forums if its not event related. But Im having a bit of an issue and subeta is a community that I trust and is very LGBT positive. I moved to San Diego/Chula Vista, California recently (moved here from Seattle, Washington) because I would have been homeless anywhere else. I love it here and its very much paradise, but I had 2 FWB (friend with benefits) that I had to leave behind in Seattle. The thing about me is that I CANNOT live without some kind of relationship, even if they dont hold the title of "my bf/gf", I still need someone to cuddle, kiss, have sex with, talk to etc. The reason why I refuse to use any other kind of dating site is because I dont want some gross hookup or creepy guys and crazy girls using me. Plus "regular" dating sites dont work for me because I am trans, pansexual and sometimes dont always "pass". I need a relationship with someone who is also LGBT. I absolutely cannot touch anyone who isnt LGBT themselves. Ive tried and it just wont work. It would be super cool if you guys could help me out, give me some pointers, or share with me what dating apps or sites you go to that is very pro or strictly LGBT. Thanks so much!

Also, please remember to ping me :3

-Disease honestly tinder is really good if you havent used it. it does have a lot of limits but id recommend at least checking it out to see whos out there, idk ive seen a lot of cool trans/nonbinary ppl in my area !

other than that you could check out okcupid. its not lgbt-exclusive but theres the option to opt out of being seen by straight people. i cant guarantee there won't be any creeps though, i know from experience lol.

Try pof. I met a ton of great people through there after skipping the creeps.

[-Disease] I actually feel the same way you do because where I live it seems like there's nobody I really like and the community college I go to is not a really good place to be meeting anybody who is LGBT. I'm Bi and so far I have met two guys that I liked which I had sex with but didn't turn out really well because they either changed their minds or moved away from where they were at. I tried Gaydar but so far it seems like nobody is taking a interest in me or even messaged me. But I heard tinder and also Grindr were the best apps to use. I myself have not tried these yet but I might go ahead and try these soon if nothing happens. I wish you the best!! :)

i tried a few but some of them you have to pay for! Someone commented to try match or eharmony but it's not free lol. I think I'll try OK Cupid. I made a catfish profile on tinder before to see how the community is (I used my friends pics and a fake name) well let's just say the results were NOT good. Seriously fuck 90 percent of tinder

I quite like okcupid. Their questions can help with matching although it isn't a perfect system & they are great for gender and orientation diversity (no having to fit into a binary box). I really dislike POF because there are only binary options for everything.

I've heard lots of people, especially if they're bi/pan having lots of luck with tinder, just because it's so open-format. I used the app called Her to meet my girlfriend, but I've heard mixed reviews about it from other people, and one friend who is a trans woman had some bad experiences there, but that could just be bad luck with some not so nice girls, it's hard to say!

LGBTQuties sucks. That's the only one I've ever used, and it is terrible. It judges your answers and flags certain answers as possibly abusive, which is interesting, and as an abuse survivor, it can help people like me to break the cycle. BUT it flags any and all "I don't what to have sex/I'm only looking for friends/etc" answers as possibly abusive. 😒 Not wanting to have sex does not make you abusive or wrong.

OkCupid is the only one I've tried, but the 'do not want to see/be seen by straight people' is my way of life pretty much and it's been a good experience, I think.

-Disease I've had a pretty decent time on OKCupid, that's actually where I met one of my new friends that was able to get me started on testosterone through the LA LGBT center. I haven't had so much success as far as dating and relationships on OKC, but I've at the very least made some great friends, and the LGBTQIA+ community there is growing by the day. You can also now set yourself to be hidden from seeing and being seen by straight people, so you'll only see and be matched with other people in the queer spectrum! Also hi hello I'm in SoCal too :D

What an awful place if they judge you as being possibly abusive based on not wanting sex/romance. That completely alienates the Ace/Aro spectrum. Thank you for coming forward about it so we can avoid it.

[-Disease] I am personally trying OkCupid, and it seems alright so far but I doubt I'll get any matches because, whoops, no one wants to date an overweight trans guy that still has pubic hair. I do wish you the best though, and please let us know if you are successful or have a lot of trouble.

Well I'm an overweight trans guy too so..... xD I think I'll try OkCupid but I'm still kinda scared. It's free right?

I am trying to stay confident that people are open minded and will accept me. The reason I haven't used tinder is because there's only binary options and some guys are great at saying they're ok with a trans guy then after they screw you they try to "fix" you. I'm so done with straight cis males. I don't want them near me lol

[-Disease] Yeah, it's free! There's a paid version that "unlocks" certain features such as being able to see who has liked your profile but fuck that. There are a ton of options for how you want to identify yourself (ie transman, transwoman, transmasculine, transefeminine), as well as what types of relationships you are looking for. So that's nice.

[-Disease] try Trevorspace.org real people! also, welcome to the city! I'm in City Heights, San Diego which isn't far from you at all! Hope you're settling in well, it's a beautiful place to live, the weather is perfect almost always.

Thanks I'll try that out!! I've had like zero luck with any other site. It's like everyone here is straight for something, but dating as a trans person is just super depressing anyway lol Cool you're not too far! We should hang out lol the beaches here are so amazing

[-Disease] awesome ^_^ yeah dating sites are a hit or miss sometimes. And way too many fake people on there :-p Don't give up hope though! There are some really cool people on trevorspace, I met some of my closest friends on there years ago. Omg, right? Have you been to Balboa Park yet to check out the museums? It's so beautiful there.

Yea today I was on trans Singles which is awesome but there are so few users it's almost hopeless, the ONLY person in my area sent me a message and was like demanding my attention because he's "sick of being a virgin" and he was all like "please respond cuz I'm sick of people not replying!" And im like bitch I don't awe you a damn message. Another one was just a dick pic with a "hey sexy" ugh...I'm about to give up lol

I haven't been down there yet but I should check it out! I kinda..need a job first tho. I'm technically homeless atm