I've been coming out online more and more, and last semester I came out to my Ethics class. I wanted to come out to my English and Psych classes, but several of my English classmates are opening extreme right, plus I can't think of a good way to do (extreme right doesn't scare me too much), and in my Psych class is a guy I know very well, and I know if I open-up he'll tell people I don't want to know, as he's very close to mutual friends of ours. He's notorious for not being able to keep his mouth shut. I really want to come out to my psych class, because my professor is a transphobe and exorsexist (hatred of NB people) and I really want to put her on the spot. Plus at my school if you are opening -phobic to a student it's grounds for termination, therefore it's a great way to help teach my class that the book our teacher choice lies without her being able to say anything to me without losing her job (I'm petty AF btw).

I think something that's important to take into consideration is: Will you be safe? Will the teacher be able to retaliate in little petty ways ("accidentally" misgendering, lowering grades) without being openly transphobic in a way that would get her fired? If you think that coming out will put you in danger (from other students, from your teacher, etc) I'd definitely recommend the safe route. However, if you think you can handle it, then I would definitely stick it to your teacher by coming out (i'm pretty petty too, lol.)

As for your friend who you're worried might accidentally out you--would it work to talk to him in private, and tell him that this is something that could very seriously hurt you if the wrong people know? If it's a memory issue, maybe he could write it on his hand or arm that it's your business to tell and not his?

For how to come out to the class, some professors ask if there are any announcements at the beginning or end of class, if yours does you could do it then. If she doesn't ask, maybe you could raise your hand at the start of class and say something along the lines of "I have an announcement to make, I'm nonbinary, my name is [Kira or other name] and I want to be referred to as [they/them or other pronouns of choice]."

Feel free to smail me if you want to talk or need to vent or anything!

It's an online class (I have anxiety about being around people). I feel pretty safe, because of that. My thing with the guy is because I'm not out IRL to anyone other than my partner and sister. He's friends with a lot of my friends, my cousins, and my brother. Knowing him, he'd tell them all. I bite the bullet and went a head and PARTLY came out. I also got a jab out on the professor. If you can't read it, I'll copy and paste my message instead.

(The blank is my hometown I scratched out for obvious reasons)

One of the biggest things I learned while navigating coming out almost a decade ago is that you have to do it for you, rather than listening to anyone else telling you you should or have to on a specific timeline to specific people. You also can't feel like you MUST do it when, in the grander scheme of things, it might be best to just keep your head down. (Less out of shame and more out of "they don't need to know/they might hurt me" in these cases.)

If I were in your position, I'd weigh if coming out for the shock factor or the "gotcha" is really worth it. Sometimes it is, but it's more out of wanting to live without hiding and just dropping it casual than having a precise impact to surprise or shame. Not saying that haters need to be spared, mind you. They don't. It's just always about taking the time to look hard at what your situation is and really considering if this is GOOD for YOU. While it's a sad fact of the world we live in that we DO have to closet ourselves from time to time, you should never feel bad when it happens. We gotta do what we can to survive and protect ourselves, physically, mentally and spiritually.

RE: the friend who might blab, having a one-on-one sit down and coming out to that guy might be in order. And really stress that he has to keep it to himself, because the only thing worse than being forced to come out by another is that person just outting you on their own. If he betrays that, he's not that great of a friend and you should kick him to the curb.

As a closing note, if you feel your teacher is hostile towards specific LGBT orientations, I'd take it up with whoever their superior is. A head of the dept. or the dean. Voice your concerns and how they make you feel unwelcome or unsafe, if that's the case, and see what turns up. Teachers getting a tap on the shoulder from their boss will always get someone to shape up faster than a student butting heads with them.

Going to definitely second the suggestion of about talking to the superior whether or not you decide to come out. If you think about it in the sense of "haters gonna hate" and probably not change easily (if at all?? Yes a lil cynical) The one more likely to give the teacher a boot-to-the-hate attitude adjustment is the one with power over them.

As to the coming out? It's you. It's your timing that matters. In this there is no set 'should' either way. No more wise words right now but just let it come from you yeah??