I live in a house with some friends, and over New Years, we were discussing our relationships and significant others. The topic of our housemate (who was away for the weekend with her long distance boyfriend) came up, and how the "only reason" their relationship works is that her boyfriend works for an airline and they get free flights (they've been together almost 4 years now, long distance because of school). He also brought up that no long distance relationships are good... My boyfriend of almost 2 years and I have been long distance for over a year now, due to the military and the fact that he was given orders about 8 months into our relationship. We both looked at each other, as he's down visiting for the holidays, and my friend tried to say that our relationship is different because of the military and the fact that he just got back from a 6 month deployment- no phone calls, texts, or FaceTime dates, just emails.

Personally, I think all relationships are different, and they all take varying amounts of work to maintain... however, long distance is definitely a relationship that takes a lot of effort from both parties, and personally, I think has strengthened ours...! My roommate says the same- that she believes the "absence" has made their hearts grow fonder. But distance definitely isn't for everybody- it's a challenge that makes you really have to work for your relationship, and if either party doesn't put in effort, it can definitely take its toll...

Any other long-distance lovers out there?

Yes, I am. I live in northern Wisconsin, and my boyfriend lives in Oakland, California. I haven't seen him in person since last March. We'll have been officially in a relationship this April, 2 years. It's hard. I don't drive, and I live in a small town, pretty isolated, so me going to him is extremely difficult. He can't come to me, the trip takes too long for him. He can use the same amount of time to fly to Norway as it would to fly/drive to see me. Plus he has Lyme disease, and it's destroying his life. So, yeah. It's hard. I wi9sh desperately that I was closer so we could spend more time together. But, I knew this going in, so, it simply is what it is. Its hard. LD isn't for everyone. I don't know when I'll see him again, maybe this April ? And that's iffy at best.

We talk when we can, we text when we can. But we both trust each other. We both care for each other. We both know it's hard. Will it get easier ? I don't know. But, for now, it is what it is and it will be as it will be. Fortunately I'm patient, and I understand, and i know what it's like, so it's fine. Doesn't mean I like not seeing him, but I get it. It works for us for now. Would it work for anyone else ? Honestly ? Probably not. It's not a cakewalk. Both both sides can put in the effort if they choose to.

I was in two long distance relationships, one that was a few hours away (but I don't drive so that made it difficult to see each other) and one where I was in Pennsylvania and they were in California. Neither worked out, but that's OK, I'm happy with who I'm with now.

That being said, I wish you the best of luck! I've seen LDR work out, and each relationship is different. My roommate in college was in a long-term long distance relationship through most of college with her high school boyfriend. They're married now, and have been for 2+ years, and have been together much longer overall. I think it can work for you! :) [edit] He was also in the military, and still is.

I'm in a long distance relationship now. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 &1/2 years! He was stationed in Ft Bragg, NC and I was in Greensboro, NC. I was attending school there, so when I wasn't working I would drive to see him or he would drive to see me most weekends. We saw each other every other week or so. Now he's out of the army and moved back home to a small town in the Bay area called Union City, CA. We skype once a week and normally stay on the phone for hours filling each other in on the past week! He always tells me, "things that are worth it don't come easy". He moved back home right after Easter 2016. I went to see him in May for about a week and a half! I haven't seen him since the last week in September and get to see him in 4 weeks! I'm so EXCITED! :) He's working now and we have plans to get me out to him by this summer. So when I think about it I can wait and have patience for him to become established to live a happy life. And I know this long distance will only be temporary. Every time I get to see him there is never a dull moment.

Of course they can work - it just takes two people who want to be together. My ex and me worked together when he went to school 4 hours away. I broke up with him due to other reasons and none due to the long distance.

Different things work for different couples and there are no set 'rules'. Let it work for you and develop into a healthy relationship! Remember - a relationship is not 50/50, its each person giving 100%! Best of luck ❤️

Maybe not as long dis as the other people here, but my boyfriend lives three hours away, so we only see each other once a month or so. But I do get to see him for a week or so at a time. ^w^ Going to see him for my birthday, so we try and make it all nice.

I lived in Iowa. He lived in the UK. I moved to California. He still lived in the UK. Let me tell you, 8 hours is one hell of a time difference!! We crushed on each other for about a year, then we were "official" boyfriend/girlfriend for about a year. He came out to visit California and my mom basically said "What are your intentions because I won't let you string her along, you limey bstrd." XD

He came to visit in February, proposed in March, and we were married in May. That's when the REAL long distance started for us. The immigration process took TWO YEARS, during which he was unable to get permission to enter the US (standard procedure for someone in immigration proceedings I'm told). But he's here now and while it sometimes feels like we've only been married for 3 years (not FIVE), we know that our story is special. Best of luck with your LDR!

I started a long distance relationship 6 months ago and at first I wasn't really sure if I should accept his proposal, the most part of my friends thought it was something insane from his part, mostly because we had only seen each other once after the first time we met. But everything turns out to be really fine, even though he lives in a different state, and our love keeps growing strong! The only problem was getting used to see him once/twice a month in the beginning of the relationship, but we have been so busy lately that I haven't seen him at all for the past 3 months! We do text each other daily and try to reply along the day, but sometimes I feel somehow distant and not that connected to him when I don't see him in a while. Maybe it's just me being needy of his attention, though. Oh, we also had this one time crisis when he mentioned he couldn't help but think of us breaking up in the future with the big possibility of me immigrating to North America. He said that he could barely stand living in another state, let alone in another country and we spent an entire week arguing (and crying) about this, until a miracle happened at Valentine's Day and he changed his mind. Also, it doesn't really help the fact that my parents are really conservative, so my mom doesn't really support the idea of me visiting him and spending many days at his home (plus the fact that my father doesn't even know he exists).

We started out long distance. Not super super long distance but we were 5 and a half hours apart for a couple of years while I was at university so would go two months between visits, then see each other more frequently when I was home for the summer and we were only 2 hours apart. I then moved home after university and we spent a couple of years 2 hours apart so we would spend 2 weekends together a month. We moved in together a couple before our 5 year anniversary.

The main reason it worked long distance is because we talked regularly (for us it was every day) and planned when we'd see each other so we always had something booked in to look forwards to. We also knew roughly when it would end. We knew that being 5 and a half hours apart was only going to be while I was at uni and that 2 hours was manageable for us but that we'd be looking at moving in together at that point anyway. We'd agreed where we were going to live so it was waiting for me to save some money and find a job down there,

I'm not sure how I'd cope if it was a super long distance and we had no plans to move any closer together, I don't know how people do that.

Hello, I'm another person in a Long Distance Relationship. ^^ This is my second ldr relationship and I've also done close distance with other exes.

With my current one, it's working better than my previous ldr because we make plans and goals even though sometimes life gets in the way, and the fact that I live in Asia(Macau) and him in the US with 12 hours apart, we still look forward to close the distance. We're both working and I would be moving to him but the reason we haven't done it yet, it's because we don't want to rush anything and we might still need money to move to California which is where we plan on starting our new lives together.

We do stay in contact regurlarly and make calls often but the distance can strengthen a relationship if people can handle it and if you can focus on yourself before closing the distance, I'm sure it will be easier to adapt to a life together. My boyfriend has met me here and it was nice to already experience having him around the apartment.

I've come to join the long distance party! I met my boyfriend online almost a year ago through this group of nerds that like to talk about this one cyberpunk series. He lives in Sweden and I live in the states and we have never officially met like face to face. It WAS going to happen but life just sucks sometimes you know?

We don't really have a set date schedule or anything due to the fact he works and I have a job and school certain parts of the year, but we regularly talk to each other. We hop on discord or couple and chat every day or at least check in and say good night and good morning if we aren't feeling well or are too busy. Sometimes we even brave outrageous texting charges to send each other I love you's with probably way too many emojis.

We're really realistic about things like moving in together. I mean we both understand that that takes a lot of money and there's no way we can move in together anytime soon, like probably a couple years at the earliest, but we're both content and fine with it. We don't really care much about the distance as long as we have each other as cheesy as it sounds.

I used to be one of those people that thought LDR were a waste of time and would never work out. I thought that I HAD to see a bf every day to keep my feelings strong.

Oh, how wrong I was. I met my current bf on a dating website and after our first date we knew we would do whatever it takes to make it work. We only lived an hour apart which was very reasonable. He has a car and so we would alternate weekends with him coming down to see me and then I would take the greyhound to see him in his city.

Five years later and we are still together! I ended up moving to his city and going to college there. People would always ask us how we handled being apart from each other during the week. We never knew how to respond except to say that there was no way were not going to date just because of distance. Also, I feel like we ended up seeing each other more than I did with my other boyfriends because we spent almost every weekend together from Friday all the way to late Sunday.

Technology has been a huge game changer for LDRs. Whenever I missed my bf I would just text/call him or we would Skype. We both like our alone time so our relationship was perfect for the both of us. Now we just need to get used to sleeping in the same bed together. We are both bed hogs, LOL :P

LDRs can be difficult! When I moved out of my hometown for college, my boyfriend and I had to deal with the whole long distance thing. And it SUCKED. At the time, we had been together for 2-3 years. And while our long distance was only 2.5 hours away from each other, it was hard because neither of us had a means to see each other (we didn't have cars at the time). Long story short, we broke up for a few months. But during this time we continued to talk to each other and honestly, we were both miserable. We eventually got back together.

My boyfriend and I just recently celebrated 7 years together and when we think back on this time, we both agree that it has strengthened our relationship.

" Absence is to love as wind is to fire: it extinguishes the little flame, it fans the big. " My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for three years before we got married; we met online and he joined the army a year and a half later. We're going on three years of being happily married :) I've always thought it takes a special type of person to persevere through the tough times of long distance relationships, but you definitely come out better for it. I feel like each person comes to value the time spent with the other that much more. I think the naysayers of anyone's relationship are just reflecting their own weakness onto others. Staying strong is important, and it can totally be worth it. :)

My husband and I started our LDR after six moths of dating. We were both military brats living in Turkey when his dad was forced to retire. So he moved to Colorado and I was stuck overseas. I was told by my family that it would never work because we were so far and the time zones sucked. We made it work though. I would get up in the morning and Skype with him when he was just getting home from school, and then again when I got home to get ready for sports practice. When he went of to basic training (he did basic twice one for the AF Academy's prep school and then for the Academy itself) I was PCSing (moving) back stateside with my family. Now during the whole time we were dating we would send letters back and forth. Something a little more personal, and we could write things we didn't necessarily want our family over hearing lol. We did long distance for 6 years before we tied the knot. Now we are finally together (he's going through pilot training) and we can't wait to start some cool adventures.