Ok my dear subeta friends I'm turning to you all for this situation. Overall I'm unsure what to do and can't talk it over with my BFF because she will immediately say it's not worth it because he's younger than me. We work at the same place, he and I, in different areas. A couple months ago he admitted to his friends at work he liked me. However some people got their noses too far into it and almost blew up our friendship and pushed back any chances of dating anytime soon. This past week however he's started being distant and not even replying to my texts. I haven't even brought up the idea of dating since things almost exploded. Another friend of mine feels that he'll come around and stop being stubborn once I move away from him and has suggested online dating. There's a few things that I'll list that might help shed light overall on this. However to me I'm not sure what to make of this sudden change in his lack of talking to me. And its not just me, he's been bratty to his work friends as well recently, to the point nobody talks to him unless it's work related. Overall I'm kinda hurt because as friends we mesh really well. Both excited about video games and movies, to the point we each have loaned each other a few of each and get excited about new releases. We have gone out to group things and he's paid for my food for me a couple times, and also took me back to where I parked my car. We've hung out in his car just laughing over silly Facebook posts and having some fun conversation about things we like in general. So this sudden lack of talking to me kinda has me stunned as well as his attitude change to his friends.

So the things about us that might be helpful to maybe pin what is bothering him and if it's worth being patient for or moving on are:

• He's a virgin, it doesn't bother me any
• I've had 6 boyfriends, I can kinda see how that might bug him or make him doubt if he's any good for me
• There's an 11 year difference in our ages, he's the younger one, but age difference doesn't bother me
• He does seem to get rather jealous if I'm talking to another guy, this is according to his friends, I've never personally seen it. However with how many of his friends that have told me about it and a recent thing that happened I don't doubt it.
• He's different when it's just me and him, but this doesn't happen often at work and we never really go anywhere without friends wanting to go too
• I know he's bothered by still living at home, so I get where he might not feel like he's "man enough" (his own words) to be having a girlfriend when he doesn't have his own place
• He stated to a friend he would want to be the one to ask about dating first

I get he's younger so I'm fine with being patient on some stuff, and other stuff doesn't even bother me. I just overall can't make any sense how do you go from being friendly and nice to your friends to suddenly being such a brat that nobody wants to talk to him. It's at the point we're considering not making him a holiday treat box, and that unless it's work related won't talk to him either. I'm at a loss, I do value him as a friend, which is why I haven't pushed anything. Yet in some ways I feel like I'm some gemstone stuck on a shelf between his jealousy about other guys but his overall lack of doing anything about us dating.

Hi there. Or here? Hi here!

I don't have any similar experiences, but I can say that his jealousy will quickly become a worse problem if you decide to date him without talking about it, particularly the jealousy, first. Maybe even anyway. I knew my boyfriend was the jealous type when we started dating, but I didn't know how bad it was. Now I rarely leave the house and am getting used to just being able to go hang out with them as I please, because for a long time he made me feel bad about going to hang out with them. He'd accuse me of cheating on him with my friends, he'd tell me how much happier I looked around them and that pivotal meant I want happy with him because I don't smile that much around him. Granted, my boyfriend has other problems than jealousy (which we're working on, he's doing well), but it can be an ugly monster.

I think that his reaction to this whole thing, with the bits of information I have, is childish. It sounds like a time-released temper tantrum. I don't know details, but being a Jerk to everyone because feelings got hurt? If there are already things about him that are throwing up red flags for you, taking a few steps back isn't a bad idea. In my experience, there will be more red flags, and they're important to pay attention to early, especially if you're honestly considering a relationship.

Last thing. I know it doesn't feel or seem like much now, and you both don't care about the age difference, but with that age difference tends to come a maturity difference as well. If this is his reaction to a letdown, how will he react to other things he views as negative? Is this a common reaction? You like this guy enough to consider dating him, but is his influence good for your life? You've already said you feel like a gemstone on a shelf, sitting up there with his jealousy. Relationships bring out many sides of people, but his making you feel that way already isn't a good sign.

You rarely leave the house because of your BF's jealousy? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't one of the signs of an abusive partner is that they isolate you from others? I think your BF needs to work out his jealousy issues before he can seriously date anyone, including you. I'm afraid I have to say the same thing to . It doesn't help that your potential BF is being mean to his workmates. Though he could be reasonably be upset at those people who were too nosy.

Yeah, it is. He and I have been through some shit that we know isn't good, and the fault is on both of us. Yes, his jealousy caused me to become fat less social than I would otherwise be, but I've put him through bad things too. He's aware that that isn't good and we're both working to fix the problems.

Probably not what you want to hear, but I have to agree with the others. His childish and jealous behavior - as well as the change in personality you mentioned he has when it's just the two of you vs. when you're both around others - are pretty big red flags as well as signs of immaturity. As of right now, with the information you've given, I'd have to say no, it's not worth it. Not when he's acting so immaturely towards you.

If things change in the future? Maybe. But right now? No.

You also said this guy is at your workplace right? Let me just say that you also need to check whether your workplace has a policy against co-workers dating each other. If you break that policy you just might not only lose a potiental BF but your JOB if things go sour with the relationship.

Also, this guy wants to be the one to initiate the dating thing? Not sure, but that could be a sign of his ideas about dating and marriage. He might be the type that feels that women must completely be submissive to their husbands and be unwilling for you to be independent (have a job, for example).

No offense to you, miss. Just my thoughts.

A bit of an update. His friends at work are saying it'd be best for me to start backing away from him. One sat me down today to talk about the jealousy bit and HE was concerned if it's this way now, what happens if we did date and he saw me talking to other guys? I had to agree that it is concerning, even more so if OTHER men are afraid it might amplify later on. So based on everything the only two ideas we have are

1. He's trying to prove to himself that having friends isn't worth his time, and by shutting us all out and away he's proving himself right. Sadly in the wrong and worst way possible
2. He's a ball of emotions and unsure feelings and is lashing out in this way since he's not sure how to handle it all

So for now I'm just going to maintain my overall friendly self towards him, but won't go out of my way to talk to him or do anything with him.

Also to clarify, I didn't reject him at any point. Pretty much the start was him saying he liked me. Then people got too involved with getting us to be a thing. So he backed out and our friendship was almost ruined. As a result he told a friend that he would want to be the one to initiate any dating, but that he's also terrified to spend time alone with me.

No, stop. He's too young, his jealousy should make that painfully obvious along with all his other behaviors. Also if I'm not wrong, you're not that old yourself, so he's like 14-17? That should be a no go zone anyways

Second, you're bad at picking guys, so, stop being silly. Just be the best Rydia you can be and let things happen naturally.

Third, it sounds like he doesn't even have half a clue what he actually wants and so that makes it even less clear to you or anybody else what he wants, that's way too much drama and not really worth the time/effort when you break it up into risk vs reward.

You're a great person, you deserve somebody equally as great, this kid sounds like a joke and I'm only assuming here, but he doesn't even sound 1/8 as great as you.

Because of all of the previously mentioned reasons, you should stop trying to work out a relationship with him and instead maybe consider pushing him out into traffic.

Hope that helps! - Omni

Honey no he's over 18, I'd never go for under 18 for ANY reason, that's just icky and taking full clear advantage.

okay fine, when you said 11 years younger, I was like WTF. Maybe you're slightly older than I thought. I thought I was several years older than you because of our mutual friend.