I recently started pole dancing and I am terrible. New people come along and are better than me halfway through their first lesson. But I can barely master the most basic spin and have trouble with anything more technical.

I've excelled at every sport I have ever tried, albeit they were all rather similar disciplines. I'm fit, strong and don't understand why I can't do this. I don't know if maybe I just weigh too much, everyone else seems to be very skinny whereas I am solid and muscular. It's not really something I can do a lot of work towards outside of class as I don't have a pole nor can I get one. I have looked at exercises but they're mostly strengthening and I don't think that's the problem.

Have you ever had this happen? How did you deal with clearly being behind everyone, including newbies? It's so frustrating.

Hell yeah, I've been bad at many things. I tried pole dancing too - very fun but very hard. You just need to work towards a goal and getting better for yourself. Make benchmarks on your performance, not others. Beat your own best.

I suck at: ice skating, rollerblading, most sports, and other things probs.

.....How do I get good at those? I practice! I def am worse than most newbies as well. But you should still try to remain positive, but its okay to get frustrated at times.

I'm good at: drawing, plants, animals, karate, science, geology... how did I get good at these? I practiced.

So... what are you good at and how long did you practice to get good at them?

I was by far the worst dancer when I had ballet, tap, jazz, and modern lessons as a kid. I couldn't move like the other kids in my class; I wasn't graceful enough for ballet, I fell over all the time in tap, and I wasn't flexible enough in jazz or modern.

But something hilarious happened one year. We were doing a tap dance as part of a show, and it was to be performed with no music. Instead, we had our tap shoes and a pair of sticks (that we'd have to tap together, tap on the floor, etc.) to keep the rhythm. There was just one problem... all the other dancers insisted on speeding up, and could not keep a steady rhythm. That was when our instructor noticed that I was the only one in the class who could keep a steady pace, and so she put me front and center of the stage for that dance! And she told all my classmates that they had to copy my timing.

Needless to say I was not popular among my peers in that show. Nothing changed the fact that I was still the worst at dancing. But because I happened to be the only one who could keep the rhythm, I had a use, and all the better dancers had to (reluctantly) follow what I was doing.

The funny thing is, I don't have dancing lessons anymore (although I had them for most of my childhood, so lack of practice was not my issue), but I am a member of a local theatre group. There, I have the reputation for being good at dancing, which is ridiculous, but once again I think it's the rhythm side that I do well at, not the part where you have to move around elegantly and stuff.

I have a natural understanding of music (it runs on both sides of my family); my "baby videos" are of me singing without accidentally changing key or speeding up, and I've been reading music and composing music since I was six. So this is obviously where my rhythm skills come from. It's just that, at my drama group, I often get credited for being good at dancing but I'm not, I'm just very musical and that's worked in my favour!

Anyway, I think what I learned from my experience in that tap dance was to think about the things I could do (in my case, my ability was music), and find a way to get that ability to work for me. So in something like pole dancing, maybe what you need to do is associate it with something similar that you can do very well, as a first step.

Also - and this is going to sound crazy - but could the problem be that you are too strong for the techniques being taught to you? I'm not suggesting that you should lose muscle or go changing anything about yourself, but maybe if you are more muscular than the other students, then the techniques that work for them may be different to the techniques that'd work for you (especially if the usual advice involves strengthening). It might be that you have to put less muscle into it (while some of the other students may find that they need to build up some muscle). That may not be it at all, but it's just a thought.

Sorry if this isn't very helpful, but basically I think that exprimenting with technique is your best shot. Good luck!

I have little to no hand eye coordination, so basically all team sports are a no go for me, especially if I have to move in unison with others. Like it has come to the point where P.E. teachers have pulled me out of whatever where doing, simply because they couldn't grasp how awful I am at it.

Thanks for sharing everyone :)

I'm definitely going to continue and try and improve. I wrestled for twelve years and was completely a natural at it. Throughout the years I took up boxing, kickboxing, grappling, power lifting, judo and when I became a bit too broken for those started doing a lot of interval training and circuits. I've never been bad at anything I've done so I guess that's why I find it so frustrating.

I get told a lot to not overthink things, but all the sports I've done have been about thinking. And I find it hard to just disconnect and go with the flow. And I possibly do rely a lot on strength when I need to be more fluid. I don't know xD

Plenty lol. It was a crushing realization when I entered into a school for more gifted kids that I was no longer one of the smartest, which was the only thing I prided myself on. I was always the worst at sports, the least popular, and the least pretty, so when I realized I couldn't even at least be one of the smartest it was horrible. Of course over time I got over it, even though it took nearly 5 years lol. There's no point in trying to be the best, especially if it makes you unhappy and miserable to do so. Being at the bottom isn't bad at all really, no one will ask you to do/help with something since they know you suck lololol.

You're seriously really freaking cool though!!!! That's bad*ss as heck!!! Gahh, that's cool!! I'm a little jelly lol.
That makes sense actually, since you're not used to using your muscles that way. Maybe the other new people come from dancing backgrounds whereas you come from a sports background. So while you excel in the strength department you now need to focus on the fluid one?

In grade school I was the only one who couldn't:

See the hidden picture in those magic eye things Juggle even 2 balls properly Type without looking at the keyboard Get a sound out of my musical instrument (the flute) Care enough to learn the rules to any organized sports

Felt like crying over most of these things! But since it was school that was ok. It might help just to remember you're here because you want to be and whatever happens you're helping yourself improve.

I'm godawful at team sports that involve balls--IE: most team sports--simply because I lack the eyesight and speed necessary.

I was absolutely the worst in my college chemistry course, even the lab, despite paying attention and hard work. The math was just so terrible and shaky hands are very bad hands for chemistry labs.

And it seems like you know what might be part of the problem. What others have said--remember that you're there because you want to be, remember that your background might be different from other folks in the class. But I also have a tip that if there's music...try to let yourself get lost in the music itself. I find it helps loosen one's movements!

I fail at pretty much anything that requires much physical exertion. I've never been a sports person and I've always been overweight. I try to work out, but it causes so much pain that I have trouble going very far. Then I get depressed and fall off the weight-loss bandwagon. It's a vicious circle.

I fail at girly things too, even though I like being a girl. I can't do much of anything with my hair besides a ponytail that takes me forever to get right and a simple braid or bun. I can't even do a proper messy bun for fucks sake. I'm an only child and my mom always had short hair so I never really learned any hair things. I was never popular or friends with any really girly girls either, so I didn't learn anything from peers. I can't do makeup either, but that's more because of an allergy. I think if I could wear it, I'd be good at it though, because I'm a very creative, artistic person.

I can't draw stick people, so therefore I don't draw and I'm fine with that. There are things that we are good at and things we're not. That's just the way life is. :)

I wish thought of that, I just chose to play terribly on purpose. So I spent the whole period running the bleachers.

If it counts I am the oldest member in my entire extended family to be single (and then some.) That title belonged to one of my aunts, who got married a few years ago. She's in her 60's, so I get to be that now.

I wish I wasn't faking it haha. I love to dance, I'm just shit at it.

And well I can sort of relate to yours too, being the oldest cousin in my generation without children. The pressure is real.

Oh gosh, that sounds like a learning curve. I guess it's the whole big fish in a little bowl or little fish in a big ocean thing. That's true, I have no sense of rhythm or timing what-so-ever.

You guys are all seriously awesome! And you're right, I'm not good at poledancing but that doesn't make me less of a person. Just gives me something to work at :)

I guess there are a lot of things I'm terrible at that I simply avoid. I've never had the hand eye co-ordination for ball sports, I don't have any musical skills (thanks parents), etc. I just didn't think of those because I avoid them like the plague. But I know that isn't the right attitude to take for this xD

Im very bad in things were you need to use your balance and pretty much every sport except tennis. But it doesnt stop me for trying things.