So. I heard this morning that my maternal grandmother died.

And I… don’t really know how I'm supposed to feel about this?

I didn’t love her. I didn’t even know her that well because we were never allowed to spend much time with her due to the fact that she was grossly emotionally manipulative and abusive even towards very young children. She was an objectively terrible person who treated mom like crap (when she bothered to acknowledge her existence at all) and never did a single good thing in her life unless she had some ulterior motivation. I don't even think she was capable of love, because all she ever did was lie and use people - even her own children and grandchildren - to benefit herself. She had no empathy, no compassion, nothing.

I won’t miss her, or grieve her passing. But I can’t say that I feel glad or relieved that she’s gone, either.

I just… don’t feel anything at all.

Mom may as well have told me that her next door neighbor died.

(Actually, I might have felt more strongly about the neighbor… because although he's not quite All There, he's still a nice old man, you know?)

I don't know. I don't even know what anyone else could even tell me right now. I think I just had to get that off my chest.

I know what you mean. When my dad's parents died, I didn't really feel a whole lot of anything about it. My parents might as well have said that a stranger had died, really, since I had only ever met them a couple of times that I actually remembered and we didn't really talk very often. Both of them died when I was younger (ish) and I found it really hard to form attachments to people that I barely knew and was only marginally aware of.

I also know exactly what you mean. It might sound harsh but really, you're not under any obligation to feel anything as a result of someone passing, even if they're a family member. ¯(ツ)/¯ I feel like that's especially true if they're not a good person.

It's quite normal not to feel anything when you have no emotional attachment to that person. I've had several relatives die that I was not close to and didn't feel anything.